single, celibacy, and cobwebs.

I'm one of those people that believe you're not supposed to die alone. Not supposed to die without companionship. Without love. I used to fake empower myself and make it seem like it's sooooo wonderful to be single and to be able to have sex with anyone I want. No. Being single is fun sometimes, but not all of the time. I don't ever believe people when they say "I love being single" "I'm fine with never getting married" "My pillow is better than a mate" In what world? My opinion: I think people that say these things are just putting up a guard. They don't want to appear sad, lonely, rejected or desperate. I have done a lot of soul searching lately and I have come to a conclusion. I am waiting until I am in a committed relationship before I decide to have sex again. I've done this a couple of years ago and it worked very well for me. I've been doing it for 6 months thus far. I'm waiting for ...

angels and demons.

Wed 9.17.14 0 , , 1 kiss!

You've got two eyes that took me by surprise when you walked by. I think that I could die a thousand deaths and still turn out just fine. If I could just see your face every day of my life. Well I see you're sad but we're both sad, and I see you cry and it makes me mad. I see the good in all your bad. Lets take this shitty life we have and throw it down the drain and run away. Just you & I. Well love don’t tell us what to do. It only shows us what we need. And whenever I'm alone with you, I know I'm where I want to be. You're the angel that gives me reason but I can't begin to count my demons. Somehow you still keep me dreamin'. You let me know my life has meaning. I’ll find that boy that left you bleeding. Whispered "love" and you believed him. I begged and begged for you to leave him. I swear ...

my prayer to God.

Lord, I lift up every one of my relationships to You and ask You to bless them. I pray that each one would be glorifying to You. Help me to choose my friends wisely so I won't be led astray. Give me discernment and strength to separate myself from anyone who is not a good influence. I release all my relationships to You and pray that Your will be done in each one of them. With my most difficult relationships, I ask that Your peace would reign in them. I know two can't walk together unless they agree, so help find a place of agreement, unity, and like-mindedness. Where either of us needs to change, I pray that You would change us. Break down any 'wall of separation' (Ephesians 2:13-13) or misunderstanding. I pray for my relationship with each of my family members. I pray You would bring healing, reconciliation, and restoration where it is needed. Bless our relationship and make it strong. I pray for any relationships I have with people who ...

music therapy.

Tue 9.9.14 0 , , 1 kiss!

Happiness and Music. Music is one of the few activities that activates, stimulates and USES the ENTIRE brain. Music is the most amazing thing in the world. It's incredible the way it can make you feel. Listening to music is not just one of my favorite hobbies, it's more than I could ever try to even explain. When I listen to music I am able to metaphorically hold my own hand when times are rough. The brain's reward center responds to music - a brain structure called the striatum releases the chemical dopamine, associated with pleasure. Food and sex also have this effect. The dopamine rush could even be comparable to methamphetamines. Music Therapy also help people with depression. A therapist may be able to use music to help some patients fight depression and improve, restore and maintain their health. Therapeutic interventions included listening to music in groups, body movement and painting to music, and improvised singing. It's effectiveness as a stand-alone intervention is not certain, according to a recent ...

love part lll.

If a man doesn't want to love you, then you don't need to allow his desires to have you. Lust will direct a man's desires, but love will direct a man's heart. Many women know this, yet they allow it to happen and end up being broken by it. If you know it, then make sure that you don't tolerate it. Intimacy is an act in which a woman's heart, opens up to a place of an overflowing of love to gush in and set fire to her body. And as a result of that, a woman's heart becomes vulnerable to the highest form of love. That is why it is very important for a man to know a woman's heart before engaging in an act of intimacy. If you love someone with all your heart and yet you feel like the one whom you love, doesn't feel the same way about you, or doesn't want to commit himself to you; You must understand that most men don't know how lucky they ...

i have a confession.

I'm usually the life of the party. I'm expected to be the one to make everyone feel better. And I do. The upper right video: sad. The lower left: temporarily happy. The lower right with my babygirl Tyasia: 100% happiness. Why the shift in moods? I'm having an ongoing battle with depression, PTSD & anxiety, with little to no support. I was recently diagnosed & I still get confused about it sometimes. The people who should be there for me: don't. I'm afraid I'm going to lose myself. But I know my God won't allow it. I know my God will provide when needed. As of today, I don't have expectations of anyone anymore. I sit here with tears in my eyes because I'm hurting, scared that someone will use this post as a weapon against me. Feeling alone in this journey because no one wants to take the time to learn what I'm going through. I'm posting this because as goofy as I am, you may never know what a ...

love is a temporary madness.

Mon 8.18.14 0 , 2 kisses!

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two. — St. Augustine