written july 17th, 2008
Love? What is the true definition? There are certain things above love that I have yet to figure out. The reasons why we love. When we love. And who we love. I’ve written many blogs in my time trying to figure out what is true love about & even tried to define it on my own. There were also many times where I knew for a fact that I have found the true love of my life, but never really didn’t. Isn’t that funny? How many times have you found yourself in a relationship saying that “this” is the person you’re going to be with forever? I can count about 3 people. Which just so happens to be the ones that ended up not deserving it. Or deserving me. They relentlessly tried to change me, or told me I was just not “good enough”. Used my past as a path in how to treat me. Used what I am about now towards the competition they’re having with themselves. Why did I stay as long as I did? I don’t know. I question my motives every now and then as to why I did, but the only answer I can come up with is, I simply loved them. When I love, I love hard. I try my best to make a relationship work. I do all that I can and am capable of doing to be that “trophy wifey”. But, after awhile, I get exhausted. I always seem to get this epiphany that allows me to get up and move on with my life. Just like that. It’s because of all the energy and emotions I’ve placed into trying to make it work, resulting in all of my efforts going unappreciated. That alone, allows me to easily walk away…
We set the standard of how we want to be treated. Not them. It remains our responsibility to make sure that anyone and everyone who comes into our lives treats us as well or better than we treat ourselves. And if you’re jumping back into the game, make sure they treat you better than the last person has. I know it may seem tacky to make comparisons, but in this case, you have to. Just so you can achieve your highest desires. If we’re not honest within ourselves, how can we expect others to be honest with us?
Difficulties? If you really think about, it shouldn’t be hard at all to love someone. Loving someone isn’t a task. Loving someone isn’t about changing for them. It’s about changing for the better. The constant requests of “you need to do this” and “you need to change that” are redundant. What’s the point in making all of these changes within yourself, just to suit the person you want to be with? Have you ever thought that maybe they need to find someone else that fits the bill? If I dye my hair blond, shop in a grunge clothing store, listen to different music, talk a different way and pop in hazel contacts because my boyfriend advise me to, would you look at me as the same Chanel the day before? Fight for yourself and take a stand for who you are. Love isn’t about holding yourself back. Loving someone is about growth. It’s about starting a new life with that person. For a future that you’ve always dreamt about. Love can be the sweetest thing but also can be bitter at the same time. I think someone need to really go through all the ups and downs in order to learn & appreciate what’s love about. Love is undefinable. It means different things for different people. And just because it doesnt last, doesnt mean it wasnt true. Someone will learn to love you for you. Not for who you were. Not for who he thinks you should be. And not for all the superficial reasons that we use to mask our intentions. He will witness and review all of your flaws and will embrace them. He will take your life history as “your story” and not as your “endured pain” or “bitter past”. When you look into his eyes, you see yourself. When you think about the chemistry, you see danger. Your beings, together bring out a force so powerful, that just thinking about his touch gives you goose bumps. It’s that serious. If you thought you knew love before, you were wrong. Those feelings that you feel now, are beyond explainable. There are no words for how this man makes you feel. He entered your life right at the most positive turning point you have ever made with your emotions & future. When you put yourself out there, he was actually drawn to your inner exposure and not towards the skin that you can see with your bare eyes. Did you love him from day one? Who knows… But from the moment that he became siginificant in your life, you knew that there was not one day you wanted to live without this man.
If you find yourself involved with someone who feels as though you want them to change, just tell them this: “I can really show I love you by accepting you for who you are and I’ve allowed you to be just where you already are.” It’s very important not to put any expectation on someone and tell them how it should be, or regret how it was or was not. When we live in the moment and trust ourselves enough to be in each and every moment, we always attract whomever is appropriate for ourselves. You attract what you are. The best advice I’ve ever received in reference to relationships is to trust, let go, and be ourselves. If they’re unable to accept that, then why are you with them?
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