I find it very strange lately how the level of respect for women has lowered lately. I’m not speaking for the women who don’t carry themselves with respect. Sorry. I can’t bring myself to defend women who demoralize themselves. I’m speaking for those who are classy, tactful and independent. Those who work hard for their own and take care of their responsibilities. Why would a grown ass man open his lips and dare call that woman out her name? I’ll tell you why. Their depleted ego. Something in their life didn’t go too well. Ever rejected a man, whether it’s in passing at the mall or after the 3rd date, and he calls you a derogatory name? Or even spread a nasty rumor about you?
Look what Mariah Carey is going through currently with Eminem. All because she did not want to acknowledge their “fling”. He talks shit about her in most of his songs. Years later, she finally decides to respond with her song & video “Obsessed”. What he does next? He responds with a song threatening to release voicemails, nudes pictures & incriminating evidence that they were together. So the fuck what Eminem? Move on. He is the epitome of what I’m talking about. A bitter man who does not know how to get over it and move on. Funny thing is, Rick Ross has called him out many times but he never responded. However, he chooses to pick a fight with female? That’s real manly you dude. We will never question your sexuality Eminem. Oh, and let’s not forget how so many people were actually cheering Chris Brown for what he did to Rihanna. Do you know how many people were attacking Rihanna? Granted Chris Brown received much deserved flack for what he’s done, but Rihanna received just as much herself. “Good for her, I didn’t like her anyways.” What?! Why is that? Why no one wants to back up a woman anymore?
These things are very uncalled for. Not only are you embarrassing yourself as a man, you look like bitter scorned bitch. No one wants to hear your stories about why things didn’t work out between you and ______. So what if she wasn’t what you expected her to be? Who cares if she broke your heart? Does that warrants you to drag her name through the dirt? Do you really believe, in that pitiful insecure mind of yours, that saying all those things make you the better person? What ever happened to cherishing, loving, nurturing & respecting your woman? I understand that rejection can be painful. I understand that there are days where you’re not in a good mood. But that doesn’t make it right. If we, as women, count on a man to protect us, yet that same man disrespects us, who are we to turn to after that? It’s bad enough that we, women, tear each other down on a daily basis. Being in the vicinity of a man takes away the grief that we go through.
I don’t want to bring the media up in my argument…but I have to. I’m seeing women getting exploited more & more on television and I don’t think there will ever be a turn around point. I would not be surprised if one day I turn to a sitcom and they’re showing nipples & bare ass on there. But on the flip side, you barely see men half naked or being depicted as sexual objects. The larger viewing audience are women. Yet, you have half-naked moaning women plastered all over television. Who are they appeasing? Certianly not me…
(Speaking of the media…) Have you ever noticed the way the media advertise depression amongst women? As if we are the only ones that are able to get depressed? Why are they stereotyping women with depression? If women suffer depression because of the “social denigration” they endure, why is it that men also suffer major depression, and commit suicide in numbers far greater than women? Sad that rather than focusing on real underlying causes of depression/anxiety (loss of community, affluenza, promotion of superficial looks) we get ads for a quick fix pill instead. No profit in truly emotionally healthy people I guess huh? As far as I’m concerned, women are targeted to take anti-depressants & the social denigration they face is rarely discussed as a reason for her sadness. I strongly believe the problem is the way society and the media portrays us. As if we’re a bunch of overly emotional creatures. We have the same emotions as men. The only difference is, we express it outwardly much more & with more confidence than men. As I look through Sports Illustrated or a Maxim magazine I have yet to see a prescription drug ad in there dealing with depression. Or weight problems. Or anxiety attacks. Instead of describing depressive illnesses in terms of specific symptoms & medical terms, as they did when the era of Prozac began in the late 1980s, the printed news media are now far more likely to depict women’s mental issues in relation to gender-stereotyped roles, like marriage, motherhood, & menopause. And just like I stated before, descriptions of depression in men have not shifted in the same way. The media, the pharmaceutical industry, the strategically placed ads and commercials. Its all aimed to play on the “weakness” of women. We got to the doctor far more and often end up only handed a pill to fix it rather than given an opportunity to be heard to communicate that there really is an illness at work here.
I don’t know if there’s something in the water, or what. All I do know is, something’s gotta give.
Edit: You can find me at http://diaryofchanel.com if you want some short-text daily rants, ramblings & farts.
By T, August 2, 2009 at 11:33 am
I’m just gonna keep it nice a sweet. The reason that you have all these men out here disrespecting women and specially their Mother is because they are insecure. If you look at society now guys feel they have to SHOW with all that they have whether material or “physical” that they are a man. Any man that has to do that is going to disrespect a women that lets him know that yeah he’s a man but that doesn’t mean that all women need him.
The world now has come to being a whole lot of boys being raised by women who refuse to let him have MALE role models. When that happens you get insecurity which leads to ALWAYS having to puff up and proove you are superior!
world.
So
By alexis b., August 2, 2009 at 11:37 am
From what I’ve noticed in the past few days, if you act like a lady, you get treated like a lady. And if some asshole still lacks respect that you’re commanding, he’s just a hopeless ass nigga and doesn’t need to be dealt with. But since I’ve already started a blog on this exact topic, I won’t go to deep into it here.
But you know I gotta comment on the music shit so….
The thing about Eminem is…he goes on every relevant celebrity in the book from Britney Spears to Michael Jackson and he’s always done this. Sure it’s a weak way of achieving success but it’s his niche, it works for him, and typically celebrities don’t get butt-hurt over it. I honestly don’t think Eminem was being anymore harsh on Mariah than he’s been on anyone else, including himself. It was comedic – nothing more, nothing less. Then Mariah or *coughNickCannoncough* thought it would be a good idea to come back at someone who is a manic depressive, recovering addict, sadist who would love nothing more than to crush their spirit when in reality, Mariah is above this and shouldn’t have said shit. She let a man that she claims to not even be thinking about take her out of her own element and she stooped down to his level. She asked for it, she got it. If anyone’s reaction to this situation was surprising, it was Mariah’s…Eminem only did what we all knew and expected of him.
And this is coming from someone who’s neutral because I love Eminem and I adore Mariah. Both of them have played major roles in my life.
Eminem chooses not to go at Rick Ross because that’s 50′s beef, not his. Clearly, Eminem would rip Rick Ross.
By Breeze, August 2, 2009 at 12:15 pm
This is a blog that’s well overdue *clapping* I’m so happy that someone actually blogged about it other than myself! Yes it is sad how most women now a days are depressed, tis I am one unfortunately. I get tired of seeing half naked women on tv AND out in the world. I mean wth, you don’t have enough freaking respect to cover up yourself instead of showing everything you have to the world?! These chics thinks it’s cute and cool to do that when their totally wrong. These are the girls that are giving real women a bad name! Guys are addicted to porn because of this shit and it pisses me off. My bf is addicted to porn and its tearing our relationship apart. I’m not going to stand by and watch him degrade girls, let a lone me, like that! Some things need to give. Now this whole thing on Rhianna and Chris Brown, that’s a mess! I’ve never in my life seen a man do something like that to someone they claim to want to “marry” I couldn’t believe he did that and then had the nerve to blame the reason he wooped her ass was because of her.. WTF, seriously?!?! If I was Rhianna I would’ve gave him something to fight about and I wouldn’t have taken that ass woopin lol, I woulda been woopin his ass back or made him work to woop my ass.
I didn’t even know about Mariyah and Eminum having beef *covers mouth* dayum that’s crazy! I can’t even understand why so called “men” now a days are like I’m a grown man when their living at home with their momma or their dependent upon others to take care of them. What ever happened to the man taking care of the bills and the woman taking care of the household. What ever happened to the respect in the relationship? What ever happened to the man appreciating what he has and not stepping out on his wife or woman to get 20% instead of sticking with the 80% he’s got infront of him? These guys don’t realize what their doing is wrong and their only hurting themselves
It’s just ugh!! It makes me so angry lol.
By John, August 2, 2009 at 12:33 pm
I never supported Chris Brown for what he has done and he will have to suffer with his decision for the rest of his life. Rihanna has coped well and she will come back better than ever.
For the women who disrespect each other, idk what to say to them. They need to grow up and be respectful towards each other.
As a young man, I completely agree with your post. I have experienced men disrespect woman, wife or not. One who believes in the “I’m the man, your the woman” crap, and as most women say “We aren’t in the stone ages”. Some get mad cause they are aren’t providing for the household or that the woman makes more than you, so what at least she is taking care of her responsibilities for her family. Being selfish and controlling will get you no where but hurt and pain and I am tired of men, who have kids disrespect their wives/girlfriends in front of their kids and then turn around and explain to them “I’m trying to raise a man”, gtfoh. I can not be around bitchy-ignorant men who do what they please and then come home and try to tell other what they can and cannot do, who are you?
By Shannon, August 2, 2009 at 3:12 pm
It’s really sad what this world has come to in terms of women and you know what else? Sometimes, women put it on themselves. We all shouldn’t be generalized with those types of women but that’s where the problem lies – we are categorized right along with them. The more women who let men degrade, disrespect and attack them, the more men will continue to do it. The behaviors continue to grow because women lose their self respect (some have none to begin with) and allow this shit to occur. I’m not a huge eminem fan, although I think he’s an okay rapper but that guy is completely nuts and I agree with Alexis, there wasn’t a need for Nick Cannon
By Shannon, August 2, 2009 at 3:13 pm
(I don’t know why it cut my comment off ;/)
By chanel, August 3, 2009 at 11:17 am
I’m sorry boo. I fixed that error. It was a css code for textarea that made it not overlay.
By Caity, August 2, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Hi! I just found your blog. I’m out on Long Island – we’re practically neighbors! :P
I completely agree with what you’re saying. I love that first paragraph. I found myself nodding throughout the entire thing. It is really sad how so many women really lower the standard for themselves. It is also so frustrating how certain men spread rumors about women. It’s so sad. We have come a long way, but we still have a long way to go.
By rain, August 3, 2009 at 1:06 pm
resha tweeted your link and i’m glad you wrote a piece like this.. how about females that up the words “basic bitch”? i don’t know how you feel about it but it disgusts me that females would actually glorify that word when you know damn well that a man made it up to yet again, put us down. i’m so sick of other broads putting eachother down at the taunting of men. i don’t get it.
By Angie, August 3, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Poor little boys. You pretty much summed it up, the insecure boys can’t handle an independent intelligent woman. Nice topic to touch on.
By chanel, August 3, 2009 at 3:09 pm
testing.
By Jas., August 3, 2009 at 9:55 pm
wow, you hit it right on the nail with this one. misogyny
By Samara, August 4, 2009 at 12:12 am
I know exactly how it feels. I’ve had my share of disrespect. I’ve had rumors spread about me and everything. I’ve even had my sons father whom I finally ended a 6 year relationship of humiliation, pain, and disrespect threaten to write a book and create websites all in an effort to destroy my character. Through and through all of the disrespect has made me who I am today. A strong, temperamental, bold woman that can be outright vicious at times if the opportunity calls for it. I for one will not allow anyone to disrespect me, especially not in my presence without suffering a consequence.
I feel for Rihanna and I hope in my heart that she doesn’t take Chris Brown back for what he did to her. That was humiliating, degrading, etc. Taking him back would send out the wrong message to young women whom look up to her.- That getting beat on is “ok”.
By keshon, August 4, 2009 at 8:11 am
I hate to admit it but a good 9o% of what you post is pretty true, thas pretty accurate id say, you’re pretty insiteful.. seems like you’ve been thru a lot also cus you say a lot of evil things but hey thas life, we all have that side.. I fkk with your blog tho, when I get mine up nd runN you should chekk me out..
ps- kudos to your cheating 1o1 post (I’m a guy that cnt succeed at cheating) minus your last tip, lol..
By Shiri, August 4, 2009 at 2:01 pm
I agree 100% and more. But the fact is, that women don’t do much about it. They have gotten used to the fact that “oh yes, he’s saying this and that” using disrespective words and so on.
By Emina, August 4, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Sadly, all that is true. I think most of it is to blame on society itself, and I do not think that anyone can change society. It starts practially at birth when parents separate boys and girls with blue and pink. Boys are told to be aggressive and not cry, while girls are told to be the exact opposite. So what happens? Boys turn into men who think that the only way to express themselves is through aggression. The aggression is what I think helps most men stay in control over women, even if half of them are insecure about themselves. What happens to women? They cry their heart outs and turn to stuff like depression pills (part of because the media says it is okay for women to be depressed). The media is just a reflection of society, put into visual form. Eminem and Chris Brown have more issues than most females combined, but the only outlet that is acceptable for them is through violence and anger. Society would not except them to cry and write songs of how sad and depressed they are. What sells in the media? Sex, violence, and drugs. Sad but true. And who controls the media? Men! Who gets screwed in the end? Women!
By Nicole Maria, August 6, 2009 at 10:32 pm
It doesn’t matter if you like a girl or not, no woman ‘deserves’ to be hit. Period. Individuals who could care less about what happened with Chris Brown and Rhianna should not be encouraging that sort of behavior. It’s disgusting. The real problem though, is that the majority of women do NOT respect themselves. How the hell is any man gonna treat you right if you don’t? Society today lacks so much respect, and so much security and it seems like every time we make a little progress, some weak individual turns it to shit and we’re back at square one again. The women who advertise that they’re sex objects in the media only give society more of a reason to heighten that fact. The sad truth is, it’s only getting worse. Good topic girl.