experienced by, Chanel./

There was this woman who felt like her world was falling apart. Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz. She smacks her alarm clock. After a well-rested 10 hour sleep, she awakes, still feeling as if she’s exhausted. As she stretches she yearns to go right back to sleep for another 10 hours. She brushes her healthy teeth, grooms her long flowing hair & powders her nose. As she looks in the mirror she doesn’t see a beautiful woman. She sees an unattractive being. When she curves her body to slip into her most unique outfit, she feels as if people just see her as an ordinary dresser. As she struts into work and sits in her office, she wonders why she settled for $50,000 annually when she’s actually worth no less then 6 figures. Vampires. These are the people that take her talent for granted and tries to take advantage of her kindness. Always looking for a free ride or a “deal”. She chuckles at the audacity of these people who don’t respect her mentality & expect more than what they’re offering. Is it because of her race? Her gender? Her age? She sighs, and compromises anyways. Her executive team consist of 10 people, all of which are 10 – 15 years younger than her. And she’s their boss. The lack of respect is rising. Everyone calls her for help but when the tables are turned she doesn’t have a shoulder to lean on. Peers. They either love her or hate her. Few may ridicule her. Some may underestimate her knowledge. Most downplay her existence. Overall, they love to degrade her natural being and assume she’s everything but what she represents. When she survives through life’s toughest challenges, she still feels beaten. She feels like she failed. She neglected the things that are here, as she focused on what’s not. She eventually realizes certain actions & decisions in her life was stupid, but only when it’s too late to make a difference. Men. They come and go like flies in and out of her life. She didn’t believe she was good enough for a good man because the “good men” weren’t interested in her. The few that have took interest, ran away. Not enough struggle to get inside her mind & not just her body. Men are fascinated with her beauty. Unfortunately, many have given up on seeing what’s within. They feel as if she’s playing games. So, like clockwork, as the 3rd man walks out her door….she cries. And as she cries, she tries to remember that no one on earth is worth her tears. The one who is will never make her cry. It’s ironic, with all the wisdom, strength and intelligence she possesses, she still feels unavailing. At the end of the day as she lays in her bed, she feels alone. Her phone is ringing. Her answering machine is blinking. 17 messages. But no one of importance. A few girlfriends that enjoys talking shit about her behind her back and random men wanting to get inside of her physically before mentally. She sighs & closes her eyes…..

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz….. She smacks her alarm clock. Brand new day…

Is this an overly emotional woman, a faded character of a storybook or is that somewhat a brief description of what most of us feel? Even if you’re a man and reading this, you’re still capable of feeling this way. Just reverse the roles. Point is, there was only one thing correct about her. The fact that she failed. What she failed to realize is that her body is 96% water. Like the ocean, she’s a mystery that curves with each breeze. Depending on it’s environment, it’ll either be cold, warm or hot. And just like an ocean, only a few will have the map to the treasure buried at the bottom. The deeper you’re willing to go within yourself, the more valuable your treasure will be. Never allow anyone or anything to limit your mind, creativity & charisma because of your race, color, gender or expression of beauty. There is only one power & one presence operating our lives and that’s the mind. It draws business prospects, friends and significant others. Nothing else is suppose to lure that sort of attraction. Our minds gives us all that we deserve based on our way of thinking, way of presenting ourself and way of exceeding the limits. No sweat. No fear. Don’t hold your breath because he left. Who you choose to be with reflects what you really feel about yourself. Loving, wanting or being with someone has nothing to do with their exterior decoration. Nor does it have to do with being “perfect”. No one’s perfect. And neither is a relationship. In order to find that perfect somebody, we must believe that whatever perfect is, we’ve already achieved it. No one can give us what we don’t already have. If your boss can’t recognize that you’re worth more then $15 an hour, demand a raise. Don’t settle for less. If your peers believe you’re a fake or a phony because you choose not to explain yourself to them about the things their envious about, keep it moving. Don’t answer to anyone but God. If he decides to get angry and leave because you weren’t ready to spread your legs for him, oh fucking well. Don’t give anyone a piece of your soul unless they earned it. Each of us brings to the world unique talents, gifts and abilities. Even if you don’t know what it is, or value what you do, someone, somewhere, will benefit from your presence. There’s no one like you. We are each as unique and valuable as the other. You have something valuable to invest towards your career, your peers and your significant other. Recognize that, go to sleep and wake up beginning a brand new life saying this next statement : I give nothing or anyone any power over me but the love I have for myself.

originally written : January 6, 2008