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unfair expectations.


Have you ever wondered why people always expect you to be a certain way or to do things better than everyone else? They make judgments about what you can do & just move on with their assumptions. I always wondered why people have so many unrealistic expectations of me. I guess I should take it as a compliment but it becomes a bit overwhelming at times. Usually, I’m expected to be strong and happy all the time. People seem to look at me and immediately believe I’ve never had a moment of weakness. As if, I’m not allowed to embrace my flaws and be human for once. Yes I make mistakes. Yes I cry. Yes there are times where I feel alone (not to be confused with being lonely). I have my battles and stress to overcome just like everyone else. My main goal is to always aim higher for happiness because life can’t be better until we are better. Some people dress up to hide their inner feelings of inadequacy. Some people underdress to cope with their self-esteem. I don’t limit myself nor my ability to be free and live free. I live everyday to my fullest and love everyone the way they deserve to be loved. Do not expect anything less. What I’ve learned that all of these “expectations” people tend to have just leads toward a lot of disappointments. I can’t be “everything” to everyone. I don’t have all of the answers. So don’t get bent out of shape when I’m unable to provide you with one.

boringI have done a lot & have been through a lot to get to where I am today. And my journey doesn’t stop. What pisses me off the most are these grown ass men with high demands of women, when they are barely bringing half to the table. How is it that you’re in the club, flashing jewelry & “popping bottles” when you’re behind on child support? You require your woman to cook for you when you’re still living at home with your mother? Talking about “I’m just here to help her out.” Please. Help her out with what? Running up her food & electric bills? How dare you state that you want an “independent woman” when you’re sharing an apartment with someone else? I would completely understand if you were a single parent & you have full custody of your child. But most of these men has no children. What’s your excuse?

This doesn’t apply to everyone either. I am referring to the ones who are about 27 & older. Some may say over 25, but let’s be honest here. A lot of people spend a few years trying to find themselves & what they want out of life. Usually, we figure at out after we get through the “party years”, ages 21 through 25. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do with my life until I was 27 myself. But you best believe…even though some goals were not set, I didn’t have this high unrealistic standard set for the men in my life. I’m not going to demand a man to have his own place, if I didn’t have my own place. I’m not going to demand that a man have a degree, if I didn’t have my degree yet. Humble yourself. What can you bring to the table? Are you able to meet me in the middle?

One of the greatest downfalls people have is banking on the potential of someone else. We go through great lengths to understand what someone should do, could do, has the ability to do but is not doing. Expecting & assuming when you’re unable to fit the criteria yourself. It’s simply not fair. Take a look at yourself, see what you can offer, then make your “demands”. Especially if you’re blind to your own “shortcomings” that you demand so much from others.

4 Responses to unfair expectations.

  1. By Honey, September 2, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    With me it’s the opposite. Everyone expects me to be this spoiled little brat

  2. By alexis b., September 5, 2009 at 10:42 am

    Not me. Shit. I expect ppl to contradict themselves more than enough times and if they don’t, they’re putting up a facade. It’s human. You have bad days and good days. Sometimes you wanna save the world and sometimes you stick up your middle finger and say fuck the world. All real ppl are walking contradictions.

  3. By Shannon, September 6, 2009 at 5:01 am

    I can’t stand high expectations, especially from people who don’t even have high expectations of themselves. Most men have a lot of nerve with all of their talk and can’t even take care of themselves. I don’t even get started with subjects like these, I’d be all night lol

  4. By J., September 8, 2009 at 11:09 am

    Hey you, long time no comment… I agree very much so with what you say about people expecting things out of others when they have not met their own expectations. I am 25 and I have my own place, however things get harder and harder as I get older. More bills, more drama, more crazy shit going on everyday that you can either hold up too or fold up too. Had either of my parents be alive, I would probably move back in with one of them just to clear my shit and start over. However, that’s not the case, I have to make this work for me and me alone.

    I guess what I’m saying is… do I believe someone out in the clubs fronting on why they’re living at home or what not trying to snag big fish type women is wrong? Only to the fish being snagged. Do I believe someone just at the grocery store that meets a beautiful woman and is genuinely honest with her by telling her is at home for personal reasons should be frowned upon? No, sometimes you have to dig deeper than a first impression. The guy may live at home and be a lead surgeon at the state hospital.. you never know what people go through..

    sorry for the book, but you tweeted.. so I came.. love ya homie

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