We’ve all heard the same cliche and explanations on why some men cheat. “It’s in a man’s nature to cheat” or “All men are dogs” or “All men let their little head control their big head.” Adopting these empty, blanket statements will only disable us women from properly selecting a suitable man. We end up settling with a cheating man. During your years of finding & understanding love, you find yourself experimenting and doing things. You’ll even place yourself in compromising situations. Ever notice we wait until the absolute worst happens before we disassociate ourselves from a situation? Why wait that long? Do it from the moment you sense that things aren’t going to work out as planned. That’s how you learn right from wrong. I learned not to settle for less and you need to walk away from a situation before it becomes worse. I chose to walk. Yes, it hurts like hell. No, I will not go back.

Let me reflect on the females who repeatedly become “the other woman” and enjoy it though. You know the ones that are consistently chasing taken men. Thinking that they MUST be fly as hell because he’s willing to cheat on their wife for them. Please. This is caused by their self-esteem, or lack thereof. Deep down, they believe that they do not deserve more, that this was “all they could get”. So they took it. The “the other woman” don’t have to go through all the gripes (ie : bills, chores, family functions & etc). There’s only one positive thing from ever being “the other woman”. The emotional dependence, anxiety, insecurity and sense of abandonment that comes from being a mistress, can be a learning experience. You discover what you don’t want, and what you’re entitled to. Which is love, respect and honesty.

What about the women who stay with their cheating men? Why do they do that? Oftentimes, when a woman is with a cheating man, she automatically internalizes his infidelity, as if she could or should have done something about it. In many cases, when a woman finds out that her man is cheating, she starts asking herself “Where did I go wrong,” and “Why wasn’t I good enough for him?” I also hate the excuse that we (as women) out number men. Especially down here in Atlanta. Some shit about a 10 to 1 ratio? Well, that’s bullshit. Regardless of how many women that are out there, that is still no reason for you to go a pursue one of them when you have a good one at home. Here’s a tip = When a man cheats, 80 percent of the time it has nothing to do with you. You’ve grown to love him unconditionally. His family adores you. The sex is BOMB. You’ve adapted to his surroundings. You know him like a book. You’ve spent so much time and effort to make this relationship the way it is today. And you refuse to let all of that go to the “next bitch”. You will not throw away __ years so some other tramp can win what you worked so hard for. Right? So you stay with him. Believing that he’s your molded trophy & you can’t get no better. Assured that things will eventually work out. He has guaranteed that it was a mistake and it will never happen again. “We’re human and we’re entitled to our mistakes” he tells you and promises it was only a “one night fling”. He was drunk/stressed/lonely/unfocused/drugged/pressured/tempted. So, instead of calling the one that loves him, he decides to destroy the relationship for 38 minutes of random pussy. Placing himself, and you, at risk of unwanted pregnancy, STD’s and HIV.

Do you really believe that’s what love is about? No. I believe the real reason why certain women stay with their cheating men is insecurity. You’re scared to be alone and you don’t believe in yourself to believe that you can find another man. A better man at that. You may have full confidence in yourself but do you have confidence in what you deserve or can achieve? You think this man is going to be the only “close to perfect” man you’ll ever encounter? That’s because you’re thinking with a one track heart instead of thinking with your mind. Sure you love him but you do not have to be with him. Life goes on after a broken heart. From someone who’s experienced it before, I can promise you that. While you’re in the moment you’re going to feel like he’s the only one. You will never love someone like you love him right? WRONG. We develop the idea that we only have one true love. That’s not true. That’s caused by loving with our hearts and not with our heads. Under these conditions, if things do not go well, it has nothing to do with our hearts. It’s our poor choices that have caught up with us. The only thing we can do about a cheating man is leave him alone. And for the 32% that stays with that man and “work things out”…more power to you. Better you than me…

Thinking you can do something to stop a man from cheating is like thinking you can do something to stop it from raining outside. You can hope and wish that the rain will go away, but when it’s raining outside and you have no umbrella, you have two choices: go inside where it’s dry, or stay outside and get wet. And if you happen to encounter a cheating-type man, you have two choices: you can accept the infidelities and hope he stops lying, or you can move on to a better situation. You choose your destiny and you choose how you want to be loved. And frankly, love doesn’t involve betrayal.

This is a throwback post.