Am I asking for too much when I say I want my future husband to be financially endowed enough to be able to take care of his household in case I was to have his child? I’m not going to remain working if I decide to have another child. Also, sometime in my life, I’d like to place 100% focus on my education. Of course, because of my current career, I’m unable to do so. It’s only getting about 35% of my attention. So, with that being said, I would also like for my future husband to allow me to be able to go to school full-time. If you ask some men this question, they will most likely tell you those are unrealistic expectations. Then what is realistic? You & I both working everyday until retirement? Even though I was raised to be independent, I was also reminded that men are the providers. How can you label yourself as “the man of the house” , if your woman is out there working 40 hours a week as well? How can you label yourself as “the man of the house”, if your woman is paying half of the bills? Are you also expecting her to do the laundry, clean, cook, and have sex with you every night with no problems? Ha!
I believe society are becoming so used to seeing strong woman in demanding careers to the point where they find the thought of taking care of that same woman as blasphemy. I really doubt a man was raised on the premise that once he find the love of his life, his job is to make sure she wakes up on time to report to work. Men were raised to provide and protect their family. Does anyone still believe in the traditional family values where the man provides and the woman take care of the home? I understand if you both have not met your goals as yet and have decided to start a family together, however, the money is not looking right. Completely understandable. I understand if the woman does not want to stop working because her career is her passion. Completely understandable. What I don’t understand is the peace of mind a man can have with watching his wife bust her ass every morning at 5am getting the baby ready for daycare, because she has to be at work by 7am, yet, you’re not making any effort to make your current situation better. That’s bull. Weren’t you raised better than that?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for the career woman to also help provide for the home and etc. I’m only speaking in reference to once a new child is involved and/or educational goals are presented. To be honest with you, if my husband took part in supporting me throughout the years of pursuing my degree in Counseling Psychology, I would not mind supporting him once I receive my accolades. That’s what marriage is about. You give to one another. My thoughts and theories just further heighten my concerns about marriage and why people end up divorcing a year later. This is why I am so picky with whom I choose to commit to and build a new future with. A simple discussion like this, can change so much in a relationship and the outcome of it.
We, as women, have been lowering our standards far too long. Afraid of being “dumped” due to speaking our minds. Afraid of projecting what we want from our men. Afraid of telling that man, what we expect from him in the future. Afraid to simply say “Yes, I would love to be married someday.” because he’s afraid of commitments. I am not afraid to say that I have traditional expectations from my husband. What’s the point of spending the rest of your life with someone if they don’t meet your personal likings? When you speak on it, and they do not agree, then you have a lot of delegating to do in reference to you and your future with that man.
