I just want to let everyone know that this was written and recorded in the middle of last year but Im JUST now posting it. I kind of felt that if I would have posted this video while I was still dancing, it would have been a bit of contradiction. Update: I am no longer dancing. Pursuing my photography and working so that I can build on my artistry.
- Loany G.

Good for you babe. Best of luck with your future endeavors!

Those people aren’t in my life anymore but it still hurts just thinking about how they turned their backs on me. I don’t do things like that myself because I treat my loved ones as I want to be treated. I’m also very grateful for those experiences. Through those events, I have learned so many new things. So much about myself. From my loved ones, strangers, from experimenting and by just minding my business. Every new situation that I face in life, takes me further away from the negative aspects of my past. Some are painful reminders makes me believe I shouldn’t take chances. I shouldn’t take risks. But, like an embryo, we must go through changes in order to become whole, healthy and complete. We’re going to feel alone, confused or frightened during the process but it’s all good. The outcome of it all is well worth the struggle. In reality, we all are growing, developing, evolving. Go out there and be carefree especially when you’re trying to achieve your goals. Break the limits. Pass the borders. Color outside of the line. That’s how we’re suppose to live life. Some mornings you may wake up feeling good, ready to go out and take on the world and “be” a great day. But on other days, we wake up to total darkness that makes the whole world seem depressing. On those days remember the words I stated and just live your life. You only get one so why waste it on anything that leads towards the negative? Don’t do as you please because it’s your day off. Do as you please everyday.

Always remember that we are given just one life to live. So why should anyone treat it as if you get a second time around?

Edit:  We have a new addition to the family! I had to give up my old cat Diva due to health issues last month so I adopted a 2 month old kitten yesterday. We named him Prince because he’s fierce, just like Prince, lol (Nevermind, his name is Tigger now, lol. That’s what she wants to name him) Nevermind again, now she wants it to be Prince, ugh! My daughter is so happy. We’re so happy.

I once was confused beyond natural belief and I had no clue what to do about a particular person in my life and our situation. The anger I had built up scared me. That anger became buried in my own emotional battles and I forgot about it. Years later, I rationalized I became forgiving. But just when you thought it was safe, I was disappointed again. Now, I can feel the frustration, anger and resentment that I had for that individual trying to reappear once again. However, my lack of interest in their actions started disappearing. It’s amazing how relieved you feel when you start to care much less than before. The one thing that keeps me faithful is the fact that karma is a bitch. Not for nothing, I wish things can be different and I have put all of my pride aside to make things better. But if you’re unable to meet me in the middle, nor even showing me that you are even giving a fuck, I wash my hands off of you faster than I switch my weaves. I forgave you. Over and over again. I let you back in. I had faith in you. I prayed for you. Now I gave up on you and have released you from my heart. The best thing is, I don’t even need you. You thought I did. You thought we did. Nevertheless, you thought wrong.

I’m tired of people claiming they can’t change. How many times have you heard someone say, “That’s just the way I am”, or “I can’t change”. How about, “This is me, take it or leave it.” Oh, how we fight soooo hard to hold on to what limits us. Don’t we realize, if our way worked, it would be working? Can’t we see that holding on to what “I am” keeps us from realizing who we really are? It is natural to resist change. Shit, I’ve resisted it plenty of times. But it is insane to fight against it. For some reason we believe if we have to change, there must be something wrong with the way we are. The issue is not right or wrong. The issue is working or not working. Everything must change. The best can always get better. When we make minor adjustments as we see they are needed, we save time and the expense of a major overhaul.

I’m an avid believer in karma. That’s why I close my eyes at the thought of revenge. I walk away from drama and potential issues because frankly, I don’t have the energy nor the time to entertain it. If something or someone is creating an uncomfortable environment in your life, guess what?…you can stop it. The life you have belongs to you only. So don’t depend on the next individual to make that change for you. To make things better for you. To help you. To nurture you. To provide for you. To love you. You must first do these for yourself from within. Muster the courage and the strength to stop it all. Pause for a minute and listen to what you are telling yourself. Heal from the lies you’ve told yourself and the ones that have been told to you. You can make it on your own. You can find peace and happiness out of being alone. You can make a million dollars by investing one penny into something you truly love & have passion for. With all these great things you can do for yourself on our own, why would you allow stress to bring you down? Everyone gets stressed out. Some cases it’s worse than yours. While you sit there and worry about how you’re going to pay the rent this month, there is someone else just like you who is wondering how are they going to survive living in the streets this summer. Be grateful for what you have, what you have earned & for survivng through it all to still be alive today to speak upon it. While you think your current life may not be luxurious, serene & admirable, someone else is out there just wishing they could change places with you.

I’ll be damned if I allow a parasite lower my property value.

I’m getting very tired of picking up my manager’s slack at work. I’m going to find a way to avoid doing that, without jeopardizing my job. She doesn’t come in on time, always taking off, yet if I did it, it would be highlighted somehow. We all have a job to do. When I fall behind, I don’t try to slide my work on to others. I guess this is what happens when you mix business with pleasure. Do I need to disassociate myself from her and keep it strictly professional now because she’ve gotten to comfortable with me? Also, leave your personal issues at home. We all have child/relationship/money issues from time to time. You’re no different than the rest. Leave the “oh woe is me” act or the “imma be a stink bitch until I can get my rent paid” attitude in the parking lot.

Is it just me or is it that the people who gripe and complain about “being left alone” are the main ones who actually create the drama they’re currently in? The best way to handle it is to simply ignore the person. Don’t reply to their bullshit, don’t explain yourself, don’t try to validate your points. Just refrain from entertaining it. All that energy you’re placing into acknowledging them is actually just fueling the fire even more. Please don’t forget there is a reason why they focus on you so much. Pop your collar.

Advice for those that don’t like me but they refresh my site on a daily basis:  The more you stay out of my life, the more I will believe that you have one of your own.

I took the day off Friday. I think we all should request at least ONE day off per month to reclaim your sanity. Especially on the months were you get no holidays off.

I’m not quite sure what’s going on with 2009, but this year seems like a year we will never forget. People are stressed out, losing their jobs, losing their homes, losing their minds. It’s insane. I’m not feeling the way the government are handling things either. All these “bail outs” for these major companies, yet the average person is unable to get approved for a loan? Something’s fishy about that.

Why is Barack Obama the blame of our current financial situation? He’s been in office a little over 100 days and now he’s the reason why America is in shambles? Weren’t people getting laid off, gas prices went up, and troops were sent to Iraq before we even knew he was running for President. Why is he being rushed to fix our country so everything can go back to normal again? Newflash: Bush was in office for 8 years. It took him 8 years to fuck up America. Ever tried cleaning up someone else’s mistake? Doesn’t it take longer to fix than the actual task of completing it correctly? Oh ok.

Lighten up people. Things could be a lot worse.