Invent


the 30 year milestone.

So I hit the big 30 today. Let me tell you how I feel. I feel no different than I did yesterday. I woke up the same, I got dressed the same, and I curled my hair the same. I’m just blessed and grateful for the things that I have now and the people that I have in my life. And of course I’m blessed with the fact that I don’t even look 30. Traditionally, I started my birthday with a great night around the town on Friday night, then my house party on Saturday night with all of my friends & loved ones. But when Sunday hit, I got a bit melancholy and said “I need to do something different this year.” I told myself “When my 30th birthday arrives, it’ll be a new beginning for my life!”. Walking into my 30′s as a brand new woman, yet leaving a lot of things (and people) behind. The weird thing about it is, I feel good. There are so many secret ways in the world to find out who we truly are. Everything that we experience, everything we think, feel and do is in divine order. It’s part of the universal flow that helps us discover who we are. If our thoughts and emotions didn’t play out towards our actions, how else would we see who we are? If our thoughts and emotions didn’t play out towards your actions, how else would I see who you are? The world isn’t happening to us. We’re happening to it. We’re molding it, shaping it, creating the good and the bad that occurs in our life. And like clockwork, we’ll get tired of what we’re doing & will strive to do something else. As usual, we will always move on.

There are so many ways people can hurt you, deceive you, lead you on, make you feel like shit, use you, violate you. The list goes on and on. What I’ve learned out of my many experiences in my life is to not expect much out of people anymore. When you expect too much, you end up being disappointed. It’s very disheartening when you learn that there are people out there who only think of themselves. Who only want to tarnish your name. Who only want to see you cry. Who only want to see you fail. I must say, when I got into a car accident last year & totaled my car (I’ll speak more on that in a future blog post), it was during a turning point in my life. That’s when I’ve decided to discontinue falling prey to a lot of the bullshit people have given me. I’ve endured a lot of disappointment from people in my life and I am so glad that I’m at a point where I have a solid, healthy control over that never happening again. Because I simply do not care anymore.

It’s imperative to have a strong overlook at your success in anything you try to achieve. No matter what people say, you will try your best. And let’s just say you do happen to fail, you were still given a chance to discover your strengths, your weaknesses, your passions and yourself in that journey. No one can take from you. NO ONE. There will be rough times, difficult situations, things to fall into & out of, major obstacles and forks in the road all through your mission. My mission is to allow people to feel how I am feeling by providing my story, followed up with my personal suggestive solution. The power I have to make people open their eyes and see what they couldn’t see before makes me happy on levels beyond my normal reach. I do it because I believe I can do it. I’m not ashamed to tell my stories about my past experiences, shortcomings & failed relationships. I’m not scared to voice my opinions about the strains of our society, parenting and love. Flaws and all, as long as I am honest about who I am and where I’m going. Are you?

Pictures of Me:

bday1 bday2 bday3 bday4

PS – I am so proud of one of the best friends someone could ever have. Her name is Shay Dechelle and her website is mindofablackgirl.com. She’s been there with me through thick and thin the past 7 years and I am blessed to have her in my life. So many people hated on her (matter of fact, they still do) and questioned her success as a model. Well, she just signed to Ford Models and is also won a trip to Paris from the Karl Kani Ladies competition. She will be their new model for their 2009 Fall line. I’m so excited for her! Go to her site and show your support. Love you yamp!

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i met him offline.

My first online experience began back in 2001. I was 22 years old. It took me 6 months before I posted one picture of myself. I remember back then, it was considered dangerous to meet anyone from the internet. And if you did, it was stamped “taboo” to say that you met your new boyfriend online. You end up telling people you met him at the gas station, in the bathroom stall or through a “mutual” friend and you guys been getting to know each other for 4 months but you felt like not telling anyone about THIS one. My excuse was always the oh-so clever “We were in the Army together!” or “I dated him back in New York” and it worked all the time. Now here we are, 2009, and people are meeting each other more on the internet, than at the local supermarket. It’s becoming socially acceptable to admit that you met your partner on Myspace. Isn’t that something? People used to make fun of you if you said you actually dated someone from the internet. So what made everyone change their minds all of a sudden? Is it because more people are doing it? I find it so amazing how things become more acceptable just because of popularity. I, for one, enjoy dating men from online. It’s a completely different experience from when you date one that you’ve met at a social event. I have fun comparing the differences. I’ve noticed, that you’re able to grow a stronger emotional bond with someone from online because you’re more focused on conversations and getting to really know who they are. Without being distracted by their physical representation. But there’s a catch. They can lie easily about who they are and where they come from. When you meet someone offline, the first thing you’re focused on is the physical chemistry. Which may derail or impair your judgment and allow you to rush into things sooner than you expected. I can say though, if you’re lazy & cheap, online dating is the way to go, lol. Nowadays, I rarely hear someone say they met their mate OFFLINE. It was always because of an online venue. Some people are even still using BlackPlanet! Can you believe that? That old dried up site that’s filled with bumpy dick perverts. ilk. “I met her offline” is a phrase you rarely hear. Needless to say, the online experience for people is faithfully growing larger each and everyday. Ask that big lipped bitch Soulja Boy.

2009. Can’t really say I have any New Year resolutions because the major changes I wanted to change in my life occurred during 2008. No matter how much you’ve aged and grown, we know there’s always room for improvement. But never wait until Monday, the 1st of the month, or the New Year to make those changes. All you have to do is sit down and have a heart to heart with yourself as soon as you realize the imbalance in your life. Start by meditating, get into deep thought and really examine your life; meaning your current living situation, past relationships, revolving emotions & the people that are involved in your immediate circle. Does everything balances out the way you want it to be? If not then maybe you do need to make a few decisions and try to work things out. Use your resolutions as a guideline and not too much as a list filled of pressures. Always remember though, most likely you’re fine just the way you are. All you’re doing is perfecting your flaws & tuning up the kinks because that’s what makes you unique. It’s never too late to bask in your own imperfections you feel me? May sound like I’m contradicting myself but that’s just my way of balancing out the negative with some positive aspects.

Nevertheless…the new year has begun. Time for something refreshing. Immaculate. Vibrant. Different. Growth. When it’s time for us to grow, we get restless. When it’s time for us to move forward, we get tense. When the time comes for us to let go of the things we know are holding us back, we fall apart. Unfortunately, sometimes we misunderstand what we are feeling and use it as a reason to stay where we are. Funny how no matter what we do or change in our daily life, somehow we still find ourselves in painful situations. Nothing forces us to move faster than pain. We will deal with certain negativity with humbleness but as soon as that line is crossed…what happens? We become hurt, then we bail. But why wait until we are bruised to finally let go? We seen it coming. Yet we wait until it’s too late. So when do we turn our backs so we won’t become hurt again? When everything starts to fall apart. That’s the ultimate sign that pain is on the way. Funny how we wait until then to finally make a difference & to make ourselves feel better though huh. Then we commence to trying our typical remedies to overcome what just happened. However, if the old remedy doesn’t work, try something new. Too many times we’ve cut ourselves down to fit or suit into the situation. There’s no reason to compromise yourself. Fixing ourselves to stay where we are is the very source of our enduring pain. If we allow ourselves to live with a constant dull headache, it means we are not getting the message. But you can be sure that same exact dull headache will eventually turn into a throbbing migraine. Catch it before it gets to that point.

Life isn’t about standing in one spot, moving at one pace. We’re all growing & learning every moment of every day. Regardless of what you have been told, you can & do change with every new experience. Each experience enhances your capabilities by giving you something new to draw upon. With that said, why on earth would we want to live a life where everything remains the same each day? Every new capability you discover during your experiences, develop and leads to a new opportunity. Why even dare to limit yourself to only knowing or doing one thing? Take a chance by putting all you know to use. Don’t be cliche by making a New Year’s resolution. Don’t promise yourself you will lose weight. Don’t swear that you will stop smoking. Don’t force yourself to change for the “better”. Simply just move toward your wildest dreams, with grace & ease, and take the labels off your mind. Step boldly into your greatness with that same potential you have used to get you where you are today. Here.

One of my purposes in life is to make people realize they are more than what they believe they are or deserve. To show them that it is possible to move people with your words, creativity and inspiration. All I want is people to get in touch with how they feel and how they affect others. Treat people how you want to be treated. Logic is the purest form of thought, thought is one of our greatest gifts, and it was intended to be used. I used it to touch each and every one of you. You all are affected now, in some way, by my confessions. Confessions of life, love & self-growth. And I’m in the process of doing it professionally with my degree in Psychology. It’s going to take a few years but I prefer to do it than to live through my life and not doing it at all. My dream was to always reach out to those who have no one else to turn to. To help women through their self-esteem issues. To guide men into understanding how to open up and love. To aide couples in bettering their relationships. Therefore, do not ask me to begin my journey towards my wildest dreams. I already have.

Happy New Year!

offlinedate

LMAO, yeah right!

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thank you.

I would like to take the time out to thank those who have made me who I am today. The appreciation I have for those who doubted me, put me down, and relentlessly tried to make me feel less than I am. I am so grateful for your malicious thoughts & actions. Without you, I wouldn’t have had the motivation to really reach my goals. For the ones who felt that I wouldn’t make it, here I am actually doing better than you. If I didn’t have so much negativity thrown my way, I wouldn’t be in the position that I am. The position of strength, courage and inspiration. The way I was able to get through all those bumpy roads. I saw you smiling that whole time I was stressed out. You were probably thinking “Good for her” right? Funny thing is, your smiles is what got me through those hardships. Take this as gospel. The more hateful people that are out there, the more motivated I am to do better.

I am so glad that you were immature enough to become a person that’s beneath me. Spread rumors about me and lie your way into making people believe I am something that I am not. You have no idea how much I appreciated that. At first I was shocked, then I became livid, and soon after I was pleased. I mean hey, if I was able to have you turn against me like that just because you were envious of me, I’m doing something right. But that wasn’t good enough for you. You turned into my personal paparazzi. And I’m not even a celebrity. Imagine that! Followed my every move, cringed your teeth whenever you heard about my accomplishments, befriended my friends & enemies to find our more information about me & etc. Geez. Were you getting paid at an hourly rate for this? lol. You had excellent determination to make my life a pure living hell. Day in and day out you have shown dedication and honor in making me your top priority. Thank you for showing me the way to ignore someone. Thank you for showing me the path to insanity, that way I can make a left instead of a right. If only you spent more time on your own life, like you’ve done with mine, maybe you’d be somewhere positive right now.

The less you gave a fuck about me, the more I gave a fuck about myself. All those times I cried because I wondered how come you didn’t love me the way I deserved to be loved, made me realize that “this” is not what love is about. You opened my eyes to how it felt like to be misunderstood. To be underestimated. To be taking advantaged of. I gave you the best part of me and you ran with that shit. Kudos to you. Because somehow, it found it’s way back and I am able to give it to someone else. I long paid the price for my imperfections. I used to hang my head in shame over the things I was lacking. Over the things you relentlessly pointed out to me. Over the ways you used to highlight on my insecurities. Yet, I refused to let that bring me down. Because you stayed with me. And when I got rid of your ass, you begged for me to come back. Why would you want something you claimed you disliked so much when it was yours? It’s amazing how you said those things wouldn’t make any man want me, however, I have a line outside of my door that waiting for my decision. Because of the way you used to treat me, it gave me more power to get over you. Thank you so much for that incentive.

“Every experience, every emotion…is an opportunity to grow. Once you acquire that talent to turn each and every moment in your life into something positive to learn from, that makes you a survivor. There are only 2 people at the end of a battle. The victim and the survivor.”

Every new situation that I’ve faced in life sent me further away from my past which was dark. Then you have some reminded me of just that, which lead me to believe I shouldn’t take chances. I shouldn’t take risks. But, like an embryo, we must go through changes in order to become whole, healthy and complete. We’re going to feel alone, confused or frightened during the process but it’s all good. The outcome of it all is well worth the struggle. Your negativity, lack of being a role model, the inability to care for your children, the hate you have for me, the advantage you took of my love, were placed in my life accordingly for all the right reasons. In reality, we all are growing, developing, evolving. And while we’re going through these productive changes, you will have a crowd just waiting for you to slip & capitalize on your mistakes. You have a crowd that’s stuck, paused if you will, in their miserable life. Go out there and be carefree especially when you’re trying to achieve your goals. Break the limits. Pass the borders. Color outside of the line. That’s how we’re suppose to live life. Some mornings you may wake up feeling good, ready to go out and take on the world and “be” a great day. But on other days, we wake up to total darkness that makes the whole world seem depressing. On those days remember the words I stated and just live your life. We only get one chance to live on the day we woke up to so live that day to the fullest. Don’t do anything that leds towards the negative. Don’t wait until Monday to start your diet. Don;t wait until after Christmas to break up with him. Don’t wait until the kids are out of school to file for a divorce. Don’t do as you please because it’s your day off. Do as you please everyday and live it as it’s your last.

I must say, I am dearly grateful for those that have entered and left my life. There’s nothing more invigorating than reflecting upon yourself, and where you were 5 years before, then realizing that half of those people are not even there anymore. All of the ones who doubted me. Yet I’m doing better. I’m not stressed out anymore. I don’t get disappointed anymore. My heart doesn’t ache anymore. I’ve become a better person, woman, mother, friend, companion, student, employee, and daughter.

Again, thank you so much for all that you’ve done for me. :blogee:

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