Success | chanel.

catty.

Catty. Subtly cruel or malicious; spiteful. I swear at least 75% of the women today possess this unattractive trait. Why do women, adult established women at that, find themselves in strong competition with others? Why do they want to drown others in their bullshit of hate, jealousy and envy? They spend more time trying to convince people (especially men) how “ugly” or “stupid” an admired woman is more than trying to better themselves & produce more character & substance in their own lives. I sure you all know at least one woman that tries to find something negative in the next female. “Doesn’t she look great?” Catty Bitch #459 – “Yeah but she got a weave. Must be bald”. They always start with the “yeah but…”. Makes you just want to hock & spit across their forehead. This has such a great impact on me because it has happened to me before. For years by the same people. The flipside of it all is, I am 100% comfortable with giving another woman her props and leave it as that. So one would think the reason why it’s happening to you is because you have done it before correct? Please. Bitches will be bitches and if they’re an insecure jealous bitch, and you’re an attractive successful popular woman, they will be your problem for a long time. Yes I know we all are not perfect, but that doesn’t make it okay to capitalize someone’s “flaw”. The reason why I placed the word flaw in quotations is because characteristics that we may find as flaws, the next person will adore it and embrace it as something unique. So again I ask, why concentrate and spend so much of your time to convince that person otherwise? Is your self-esteem that low where you just have to focus that negativity on someone who’s getting what you’ve yearned for so long?

Men, you are not exempt. You guys are worse now as well! Gossiping, sitting around talking shit about women all day long, trying to find a way to get back at their ex. What ever happened to playing basketball, video games, chillin at the bar, then going home to spend time with a nice woman? Instead, these grown ass men prefer to sit on Facebook or Twitter all day long & tweet about how much they hate “bitches”. They prefer to go to the club and “pop bottles” (that cost about $150) with their male friends, yet, refuse to buy a young lady a $10 drink. “I’m not paying for none of these hos” but you’re paying for your boys every weekend? Yeah…that’s real hetero of you.

This day and age, as women, where it’s so hard to earn respect from or fellow men, we don’t also need the burden of the same sex following their lead. It’s bad enough that we are viewed and treated as objects or even worse, underestimated and ridiculed career wise. It is not my duty or responsibility to change the minds of other people. But it is my duty to ignore them and continue striving to be myself. Which succumbs them to become this catty person and be ignorant instead of brushing their teeth or something. They know, in our presence, others have an opportunity to learn about us and perhaps grow to love us. And they can’t stand that. What can be done to end this cycle? Nothing. Not a damn thing. Which is why ignoring ignorance is the best answer. No matter what you do or say, they will always find something to say about you. They’re just that damn miserable.

finding yourself.

Do you believe in knowing who you are & that you will remain that way forever? Just when you thought you had yourself all figured out, there’s always that one individual that sees you in a totally different perspective that you never viewed before. As they are expressing their opinion of you, to you….you’re either going to agree or disagree right? Well what if most times you find yourself agreeing? Does that mean you really don’t know yourself. All that you were projecting as your persona, was that all a facade? Or does it truly mean we haven’t really found ourselves? Even though all the answers are buried within you, it’s amazing how someone from the outside can sum you up in a matter of minutes. Teaching you how to handle yourself & the ways you can better your ways of self-expression. It’s amazing what you get once you allow yourself to receive.

Once you get through all of our own simplicities, you’ll always find out the root is very complex. Why? Because as we age, we’re learning. All of our experiences & the emotions we felt through them are all wrapped up in a box inside of our souls. Every time we find ourselves in a similar situation, we unwrap that box and dig deep for a better solution than the last. So no, I do not believe you will remain the same forever. It’s emotionally impossible. What is possible, however, is what spectrum of the rainbow you fall under more. The darks or the brights (better known as the positives or the negatives). Some people find themselves “stuck” in their negative ways to the point where the blame is on the whole world but their selves. Showing the inability to take responsibility for the roles they played in other people’s life. How it affected someone else. Did they learn anything from them? Most likely not. Other people take the positive road. Taking full hold of the things they learned and try to figure out how they can make things better next time around. Highlighting the key moments where full satisfaction was accomplished & what they can do to achieve that everlasting smile again.

Our past and our scars (whether they’re fresh or healed) is a reflection of what we believe about ourselves. Within every experience we have in our life, we always learn & grow from it. At least we’re supposed to. Thus, it furthers define who we are. Regardless of what you’ve been told, you can and is able to change with every new experience. Your ex cannot successfully tell you who you are and what you’re about. Because all they’re going by is how you were with them. Each experience enhances your capabilities by giving you something new to draw upon. Every new capability you discover & develop leads to a new opportunity. As long as you have these abilities, there will be endless possibilities for you to grow and learn something new.

So yes, you will find out something new about yourself as you encounter new people in your life. It’s part of the universal flow & the different roads we go through while we’re in route to our own self. It’s up to you to decide on one direction, not to get lost & sticking to it for the next time you need to get there.

originally written october 14th 2007.

feeling defeated.

March 8, 2009
7 Comments
reality
confidence, difficult situations, obstacles, reality, strength, success

Feeling down. Does anyone know what that may feel like? It’s like you buy a new outfit for a special date, just for your boyfriend to tell you the outfit is ugly. But you feel like that everyday. It’s almost as if you’re depressed but in a minor way. If you don’t feel good about yourself, and it’s hard to feel good about anything or anyone else. You see everything with a bad eye. You miss the value and worth of every experience. You limit yourself because you don’t feel good about who you are or what you do. You hold yourself back because you don’t believe what you want is worthwhile. You put yourself in situations that are either compromising, abusive or unproductive. You feel bad about yourself because of what you’ve done. The only way to get out of the cycle is to allow yourself to believe the world is waiting for who you are becoming. Age doesn’t play a factor. Nor does education. What you need to do is surround yourself with people that appreciates you & will welcome you simply for being who you are and not what they want you to be. Complaining about it isn’t going to make it any better. Do something about it. Life is about movement. Life is going to be a challenge. There will be rough times, difficult situations, major obstacles and forks in the road that will distract you from reaching your destination. There will be manipulative people that are envious of your accomplishments & people that will succumb to spreading rumors about you because they don’t have what it takes to reach your level…

Never give up on what you believe in. It really doesn’t matter how long it takes to reach your goal. As long as you have determination and motivation to get you there. Even love. The moment you give up on doing it, it will never get done. The moment you focus on the negative energy that’s trying to swing your way, you lose that power. With all your great accomplishments that’s going on in your life, why should you take notice to anything that’s trying to bring you down? Everything that we experience, everything we think, feel and do is in divine order. And if you just so happen to follow a path to do someone wrong, karma will catch up with you. You won’t be able to stop it from happening because that’s just how life is and sometimes we have to struggle through that. However, you can stop it from derailing your natural being. For me, my power of ignoring comes very handy at this point. Sometimes you tend to wonder why certain things happen. Why people can’t just think before they apply action. Do they know that unless you can benefit from it in the future, whatever they think, say or do to you will only make them look stupid? While all these games & charades are going on, there’s a strong being called reality that they have no clue about. And while they’re suffering from the lack of reality, everyone else around you are climbing to higher levels. These things happen because they are meant to strengthen our ability to handle anyone & anything at any given moment. It places you right back on track on who, when and what to trust. Everything that you go through happen the way they should, at the right time, to the right people, and ended the right way. The only job we have, is to know we are equipped to handle it. I know I’m equipped to handle just about anything because I am strong minded, experienced enough, independent, assertive and realistic. Are you?

catty.

finding yourself.

feeling defeated.

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