When one door shuts, another one opens. – Author Unknown

This is how I feel about my life right now. Something happened recently that made me feel as though things were going to turn for the worse. Oddly, it didn’t. It should have, but it didn’t! Things only got better. New opportunities arose to expand my side hustle as a web designer, my health is at it’s best, and I’ve been losing weight (15lbs in less than 2 months). Kyle’s career is kicking off with this new opportunity for him working in Human Resources, and my weave has been behaving itself.

I say all of this because I’m bringing light to a situation that had the potential to ruin my life. I was backstabbed by my own “mentor”. I’m not going to try to figure out why it happened. That’s what I used to do. Stress myself out seeking for a reason why I was hurt, why was I lied to, why is this happening to me. You know the “oh woe is me” drama we place on ourselves when we get fucked over. All I can do is overcome the betrayal, and make sure that it doesn’t place a long standing negative effect in my life. And it didn’t. That betrayal actually helped me advance in so many ways. It opened doors for myself and for my family.

While a part of me is still kind of sore from what happened, the better part of me is ecstatic at the fact that my life is so much better now that I don’t have to deal with certain things anymore. I definitely was settling for less in my career, I was becoming more and more stressed out, and my health was deteriorating. i became a doormat and was losing myself in the process.

With all of that said, I am very thankful for that particular door closing on me. Without that, I wouldn’t have a peace of mind today.

I just want to let everyone know that this was written and recorded in the middle of last year but Im JUST now posting it. I kind of felt that if I would have posted this video while I was still dancing, it would have been a bit of contradiction. Update: I am no longer dancing. Pursuing my photography and working so that I can build on my artistry.
- Loany G.

Good for you babe. Best of luck with your future endeavors!

Here are a few success quotes I live by:

Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.  ~ George Smith Patton

The man who has done his level best, and who is conscious that he has done
his best, is a success, even though the world may write him down as a
failure.  ~ B.C. Forbes

Success:  To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the
best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has
breathed easier because you have lived.  This is to have succeeded!  ~ Ralph
Waldo Emerson

Men, you are not exempt. You guys are worse now as well! Gossiping, sitting around talking shit about women all day long, trying to find a way to get back at their ex. What ever happened to playing basketball, video games, chillin at the bar, then going home to spend time with a nice woman? Instead, these grown ass men prefer to sit on Facebook or Twitter all day long & tweet about how much they hate “bitches”. They prefer to go to the club and “pop bottles” (that cost about $150) with their male friends, yet, refuse to buy a young lady a $10 drink. “I’m not paying for none of these hos” but you’re paying for your boys every weekend? Yeah…that’s real hetero of you.

This day and age, as women, where it’s so hard to earn respect from or fellow men, we don’t also need the burden of the same sex following their lead. It’s bad enough that we are viewed and treated as objects or even worse, underestimated and ridiculed career wise. It is not my duty or responsibility to change the minds of other people. But it is my duty to ignore them and continue striving to be myself. Which succumbs them to become this catty person and be ignorant instead of brushing their teeth or something. They know, in our presence, others have an opportunity to learn about us and perhaps grow to love us. And they can’t stand that. What can be done to end this cycle? Nothing. Not a damn thing. Which is why ignoring ignorance is the best answer. No matter what you do or say, they will always find something to say about you. They’re just that damn miserable.

Once you get through all of our own simplicities, you’ll always find out the root is very complex. Why? Because as we age, we’re learning. All of our experiences & the emotions we felt through them are all wrapped up in a box inside of our souls. Every time we find ourselves in a similar situation, we unwrap that box and dig deep for a better solution than the last. So no, I do not believe you will remain the same forever. It’s emotionally impossible. What is possible, however, is what spectrum of the rainbow you fall under more. The darks or the brights (better known as the positives or the negatives). Some people find themselves “stuck” in their negative ways to the point where the blame is on the whole world but their selves. Showing the inability to take responsibility for the roles they played in other people’s life. How it affected someone else. Did they learn anything from them? Most likely not. Other people take the positive road. Taking full hold of the things they learned and try to figure out how they can make things better next time around. Highlighting the key moments where full satisfaction was accomplished & what they can do to achieve that everlasting smile again.

Our past and our scars (whether they’re fresh or healed) is a reflection of what we believe about ourselves. Within every experience we have in our life, we always learn & grow from it. At least we’re supposed to. Thus, it furthers define who we are. Regardless of what you’ve been told, you can and is able to change with every new experience. Your ex cannot successfully tell you who you are and what you’re about. Because all they’re going by is how you were with them. Each experience enhances your capabilities by giving you something new to draw upon. Every new capability you discover & develop leads to a new opportunity. As long as you have these abilities, there will be endless possibilities for you to grow and learn something new.

So yes, you will find out something new about yourself as you encounter new people in your life. It’s part of the universal flow & the different roads we go through while we’re in route to our own self. It’s up to you to decide on one direction, not to get lost & sticking to it for the next time you need to get there.

originally written october 14th 2007.

Never give up on what you believe in. It really doesn’t matter how long it takes to reach your goal. As long as you have determination and motivation to get you there. Even love. The moment you give up on doing it, it will never get done. The moment you focus on the negative energy that’s trying to swing your way, you lose that power. With all your great accomplishments that’s going on in your life, why should you take notice to anything that’s trying to bring you down? Everything that we experience, everything we think, feel and do is in divine order. And if you just so happen to follow a path to do someone wrong, karma will catch up with you. You won’t be able to stop it from happening because that’s just how life is and sometimes we have to struggle through that. However, you can stop it from derailing your natural being. For me, my power of ignoring comes very handy at this point. Sometimes you tend to wonder why certain things happen. Why people can’t just think before they apply action. Do they know that unless you can benefit from it in the future, whatever they think, say or do to you will only make them look stupid? While all these games & charades are going on, there’s a strong being called reality that they have no clue about. And while they’re suffering from the lack of reality, everyone else around you are climbing to higher levels. These things happen because they are meant to strengthen our ability to handle anyone & anything at any given moment. It places you right back on track on who, when and what to trust. Everything that you go through happen the way they should, at the right time, to the right people, and ended the right way. The only job we have, is to know we are equipped to handle it. I know I’m equipped to handle just about anything because I am strong minded, experienced enough, independent, assertive and realistic. Are you?

There are so many ways people can hurt you, deceive you, lead you on, make you feel like shit, use you, violate you. The list goes on and on. What I’ve learned out of my many experiences in my life is to not expect much out of people anymore. When you expect too much, you end up being disappointed. It’s very disheartening when you learn that there are people out there who only think of themselves. Who only want to tarnish your name. Who only want to see you cry. Who only want to see you fail. I must say, when I got into a car accident last year & totaled my car (I’ll speak more on that in a future blog post), it was during a turning point in my life. That’s when I’ve decided to discontinue falling prey to a lot of the bullshit people have given me. I’ve endured a lot of disappointment from people in my life and I am so glad that I’m at a point where I have a solid, healthy control over that never happening again. Because I simply do not care anymore.

It’s imperative to have a strong overlook at your success in anything you try to achieve. No matter what people say, you will try your best. And let’s just say you do happen to fail, you were still given a chance to discover your strengths, your weaknesses, your passions and yourself in that journey. No one can take from you. NO ONE. There will be rough times, difficult situations, things to fall into & out of, major obstacles and forks in the road all through your mission. My mission is to allow people to feel how I am feeling by providing my story, followed up with my personal suggestive solution. The power I have to make people open their eyes and see what they couldn’t see before makes me happy on levels beyond my normal reach. I do it because I believe I can do it. I’m not ashamed to tell my stories about my past experiences, shortcomings & failed relationships. I’m not scared to voice my opinions about the strains of our society, parenting and love. Flaws and all, as long as I am honest about who I am and where I’m going. Are you?

Pictures of Me:

PS – I am so proud of one of the best friends someone could ever have. Her name is Shay Dechelle and her website is mindofablackgirl.com. She’s been there with me through thick and thin the past 7 years and I am blessed to have her in my life. So many people hated on her (matter of fact, they still do) and questioned her success as a model. Well, she just signed to Ford Models and is also won a trip to Paris from the Karl Kani Ladies competition. She will be their new model for their 2009 Fall line. I’m so excited for her! Go to her site and show your support. Love you yamp!

2009. Can’t really say I have any New Year resolutions because the major changes I wanted to change in my life occurred during 2008. No matter how much you’ve aged and grown, we know there’s always room for improvement. But never wait until Monday, the 1st of the month, or the New Year to make those changes. All you have to do is sit down and have a heart to heart with yourself as soon as you realize the imbalance in your life. Start by meditating, get into deep thought and really examine your life; meaning your current living situation, past relationships, revolving emotions & the people that are involved in your immediate circle. Does everything balances out the way you want it to be? If not then maybe you do need to make a few decisions and try to work things out. Use your resolutions as a guideline and not too much as a list filled of pressures. Always remember though, most likely you’re fine just the way you are. All you’re doing is perfecting your flaws & tuning up the kinks because that’s what makes you unique. It’s never too late to bask in your own imperfections you feel me? May sound like I’m contradicting myself but that’s just my way of balancing out the negative with some positive aspects.

Nevertheless…the new year has begun. Time for something refreshing. Immaculate. Vibrant. Different. Growth. When it’s time for us to grow, we get restless. When it’s time for us to move forward, we get tense. When the time comes for us to let go of the things we know are holding us back, we fall apart. Unfortunately, sometimes we misunderstand what we are feeling and use it as a reason to stay where we are. Funny how no matter what we do or change in our daily life, somehow we still find ourselves in painful situations. Nothing forces us to move faster than pain. We will deal with certain negativity with humbleness but as soon as that line is crossed…what happens? We become hurt, then we bail. But why wait until we are bruised to finally let go? We seen it coming. Yet we wait until it’s too late. So when do we turn our backs so we won’t become hurt again? When everything starts to fall apart. That’s the ultimate sign that pain is on the way. Funny how we wait until then to finally make a difference & to make ourselves feel better though huh. Then we commence to trying our typical remedies to overcome what just happened. However, if the old remedy doesn’t work, try something new. Too many times we’ve cut ourselves down to fit or suit into the situation. There’s no reason to compromise yourself. Fixing ourselves to stay where we are is the very source of our enduring pain. If we allow ourselves to live with a constant dull headache, it means we are not getting the message. But you can be sure that same exact dull headache will eventually turn into a throbbing migraine. Catch it before it gets to that point.

Life isn’t about standing in one spot, moving at one pace. We’re all growing & learning every moment of every day. Regardless of what you have been told, you can & do change with every new experience. Each experience enhances your capabilities by giving you something new to draw upon. With that said, why on earth would we want to live a life where everything remains the same each day? Every new capability you discover during your experiences, develop and leads to a new opportunity. Why even dare to limit yourself to only knowing or doing one thing? Take a chance by putting all you know to use. Don’t be cliche by making a New Year’s resolution. Don’t promise yourself you will lose weight. Don’t swear that you will stop smoking. Don’t force yourself to change for the “better”. Simply just move toward your wildest dreams, with grace & ease, and take the labels off your mind. Step boldly into your greatness with that same potential you have used to get you where you are today. Here.

One of my purposes in life is to make people realize they are more than what they believe they are or deserve. To show them that it is possible to move people with your words, creativity and inspiration. All I want is people to get in touch with how they feel and how they affect others. Treat people how you want to be treated. Logic is the purest form of thought, thought is one of our greatest gifts, and it was intended to be used. I used it to touch each and every one of you. You all are affected now, in some way, by my confessions. Confessions of life, love & self-growth. And I’m in the process of doing it professionally with my degree in Psychology. It’s going to take a few years but I prefer to do it than to live through my life and not doing it at all. My dream was to always reach out to those who have no one else to turn to. To help women through their self-esteem issues. To guide men into understanding how to open up and love. To aide couples in bettering their relationships. Therefore, do not ask me to begin my journey towards my wildest dreams. I already have.

Happy New Year!

LMAO, yeah right!

I am so glad that you were immature enough to become a person that’s beneath me. Spread rumors about me and lie your way into making people believe I am something that I am not. You have no idea how much I appreciated that. At first I was shocked, then I became livid, and soon after I was pleased. I mean hey, if I was able to have you turn against me like that just because you were envious of me, I’m doing something right. But that wasn’t good enough for you. You turned into my personal paparazzi. And I’m not even a celebrity. Imagine that! Followed my every move, cringed your teeth whenever you heard about my accomplishments, befriended my friends & enemies to find our more information about me & etc. Geez. Were you getting paid at an hourly rate for this? lol. You had excellent determination to make my life a pure living hell. Day in and day out you have shown dedication and honor in making me your top priority. Thank you for showing me the way to ignore someone. Thank you for showing me the path to insanity, that way I can make a left instead of a right. If only you spent more time on your own life, like you’ve done with mine, maybe you’d be somewhere positive right now.

The less you gave a fuck about me, the more I gave a fuck about myself. All those times I cried because I wondered how come you didn’t love me the way I deserved to be loved, made me realize that “this” is not what love is about. You opened my eyes to how it felt like to be misunderstood. To be underestimated. To be taking advantaged of. I gave you the best part of me and you ran with that shit. Kudos to you. Because somehow, it found it’s way back and I am able to give it to someone else. I long paid the price for my imperfections. I used to hang my head in shame over the things I was lacking. Over the things you relentlessly pointed out to me. Over the ways you used to highlight on my insecurities. Yet, I refused to let that bring me down. Because you stayed with me. And when I got rid of your ass, you begged for me to come back. Why would you want something you claimed you disliked so much when it was yours? It’s amazing how you said those things wouldn’t make any man want me, however, I have a line outside of my door that waiting for my decision. Because of the way you used to treat me, it gave me more power to get over you. Thank you so much for that incentive.

“Every experience, every emotion…is an opportunity to grow. Once you acquire that talent to turn each and every moment in your life into something positive to learn from, that makes you a survivor. There are only 2 people at the end of a battle. The victim and the survivor.”

Every new situation that I’ve faced in life sent me further away from my past which was dark. Then you have some reminded me of just that, which lead me to believe I shouldn’t take chances. I shouldn’t take risks. But, like an embryo, we must go through changes in order to become whole, healthy and complete. We’re going to feel alone, confused or frightened during the process but it’s all good. The outcome of it all is well worth the struggle. Your negativity, lack of being a role model, the inability to care for your children, the hate you have for me, the advantage you took of my love, were placed in my life accordingly for all the right reasons. In reality, we all are growing, developing, evolving. And while we’re going through these productive changes, you will have a crowd just waiting for you to slip & capitalize on your mistakes. You have a crowd that’s stuck, paused if you will, in their miserable life. Go out there and be carefree especially when you’re trying to achieve your goals. Break the limits. Pass the borders. Color outside of the line. That’s how we’re suppose to live life. Some mornings you may wake up feeling good, ready to go out and take on the world and “be” a great day. But on other days, we wake up to total darkness that makes the whole world seem depressing. On those days remember the words I stated and just live your life. We only get one chance to live on the day we woke up to so live that day to the fullest. Don’t do anything that leds towards the negative. Don’t wait until Monday to start your diet. Don;t wait until after Christmas to break up with him. Don’t wait until the kids are out of school to file for a divorce. Don’t do as you please because it’s your day off. Do as you please everyday and live it as it’s your last.

I must say, I am dearly grateful for those that have entered and left my life. There’s nothing more invigorating than reflecting upon yourself, and where you were 5 years before, then realizing that half of those people are not even there anymore. All of the ones who doubted me. Yet I’m doing better. I’m not stressed out anymore. I don’t get disappointed anymore. My heart doesn’t ache anymore. I’ve become a better person, woman, mother, friend, companion, student, employee, and daughter.

Again, thank you so much for all that you’ve done for me. :blogee:

bitchfit.net is back! Add to your bookmarks.

Relationships or the path to find love will have it’s rough moments. Don’t think for once that it’s “easy” to find love and to keep love. Both entities has it’s ups and downs. It’s your responsibility to embrace those that you have in your life. And if by chance they are not in your life anymore, cherish the memories and be thankful for the time that they were present in it. A lot of us would not be who we are today without that one person to show us the light of our ways. There are far too many times we are remembering the hurt and pain but can’t seem to remember the greater & more joyful things that we have all experienced. The road to finding love will have those potholes. There will be times where you will feel disappointed, rejected, disrespected, hurt, or even violated. Don’t let that stop you on your journey. You will shed a lot of tears and have many frustrating moments. Striving for your happiness will not come easy. There will be times where you are going to lay in bed at night and wonder if you’re ever going to fall hopelessy in love again. Wondering, is this marriage going to work? Am I a good father? Does he love me for who I am?