Success | chanel.

revolving door.

November 20, 2011
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thoughts
obstacles, success

When one door shuts, another one opens. – Author Unknown

This is how I feel about my life right now. Something happened recently that made me feel as though things were going to turn for the worse. Oddly, it didn’t. It should have, but it didn’t! Things only got better. New opportunities arose to expand my side hustle as a web designer, my health is at it’s best, and I’ve been losing weight (15lbs in less than 2 months). Kyle’s career is kicking off with this new opportunity for him working in Human Resources, and my weave has been behaving itself.

I say all of this because I’m bringing light to a situation that had the potential to ruin my life. I was backstabbed by my own “mentor”. I’m not going to try to figure out why it happened. That’s what I used to do. Stress myself out seeking for a reason why I was hurt, why was I lied to, why is this happening to me. You know the “oh woe is me” drama we place on ourselves when we get fucked over. All I can do is overcome the betrayal, and make sure that it doesn’t place a long standing negative effect in my life. And it didn’t. That betrayal actually helped me advance in so many ways. It opened doors for myself and for my family.

While a part of me is still kind of sore from what happened, the better part of me is ecstatic at the fact that my life is so much better now that I don’t have to deal with certain things anymore. I definitely was settling for less in my career, I was becoming more and more stressed out, and my health was deteriorating. i became a doormat and was losing myself in the process.

With all of that said, I am very thankful for that particular door closing on me. Without that, I wouldn’t have a peace of mind today.

i hate stripping.

This is deep. While this may not apply to everybody, it definitely applies to some. Well put @loanyg.

I just want to let everyone know that this was written and recorded in the middle of last year but Im JUST now posting it. I kind of felt that if I would have posted this video while I was still dancing, it would have been a bit of contradiction. Update: I am no longer dancing. Pursuing my photography and working so that I can build on my artistry.
- Loany G.

Good for you babe. Best of luck with your future endeavors!

karma is sugar.

Revenge sounds so sweet when you’re stronger, smarter and doing better than your enemy. You know you have all of the equipment for payback. You have the ability to make them feel like shit and to further show them how worthless they are. You have the perfect ammo. However, seeking revenge against someone who has done you wrong, is only going to make things. Just wait on their karma. It’ll catch up to them much better. Furthermore, nothing makes an enemy more sick than to watch you succeed. I used to be real big on revenge. If you do me wrong, I can do you wrong better. But then a miracle happened: I grew up. I realized that spending time on that negative energy will only bring negativity to your life. I’ve reached a point where if someone I cared about did me wrong, I’ll just let karma take it’s course. Because there’s no way to avoid it. It’s impossible to duck karma and believe that you will get away with the things that you’ve done. Just because I don’t retaliate over the things you’ve done to me, doesn’t mean you’re clear and free from any consequences. Shit is going to come back on you tenfold. Ever seen someone go through a slew of “bad luck” and is unable to recuperate? That’s not bad luck. That’s their karma. Bad luck is when you’re able to rise above it. To bring good from it and to strengthen from it. But to those that are being intentional with their malice, continue on being the hateful person that you are. That’s why no good will ever come to you. That’s why you lost your job. That’s why he cheated on you. That’s why she’s treating you like shit. That’s why you’re always losing money. That’s why you’re stuck in a miserable relationship. That’s why you’re losing your hair. Don’t blame it on luck…blame it on karma. Which is why I took the word “revenge” completely out of my existence. I don’t want guaranteed mishaps to interrupt my happy life. No ma’am.

Here are a few success quotes I live by:

Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. ~ George Smith Patton

The man who has done his level best, and who is conscious that he has done
his best, is a success, even though the world may write him down as a
failure. ~ B.C. Forbes

Success: To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the
best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has
breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded! ~ Ralph
Waldo Emerson

catty.

Catty. Subtly cruel or malicious; spiteful. I swear at least 75% of the women today possess this unattractive trait. Why do women, adult established women at that, find themselves in strong competition with others? Why do they want to drown others in their bullshit of hate, jealousy and envy? They spend more time trying to convince people (especially men) how “ugly” or “stupid” an admired woman is more than trying to better themselves & produce more character & substance in their own lives. I sure you all know at least one woman that tries to find something negative in the next female. “Doesn’t she look great?” Catty Bitch #459 – “Yeah but she got a weave. Must be bald”. They always start with the “yeah but…”. Makes you just want to hock & spit across their forehead. This has such a great impact on me because it has happened to me before. For years by the same people. The flipside of it all is, I am 100% comfortable with giving another woman her props and leave it as that. So one would think the reason why it’s happening to you is because you have done it before correct? Please. Bitches will be bitches and if they’re an insecure jealous bitch, and you’re an attractive successful popular woman, they will be your problem for a long time. Yes I know we all are not perfect, but that doesn’t make it okay to capitalize someone’s “flaw”. The reason why I placed the word flaw in quotations is because characteristics that we may find as flaws, the next person will adore it and embrace it as something unique. So again I ask, why concentrate and spend so much of your time to convince that person otherwise? Is your self-esteem that low where you just have to focus that negativity on someone who’s getting what you’ve yearned for so long?

Men, you are not exempt. You guys are worse now as well! Gossiping, sitting around talking shit about women all day long, trying to find a way to get back at their ex. What ever happened to playing basketball, video games, chillin at the bar, then going home to spend time with a nice woman? Instead, these grown ass men prefer to sit on Facebook or Twitter all day long & tweet about how much they hate “bitches”. They prefer to go to the club and “pop bottles” (that cost about $150) with their male friends, yet, refuse to buy a young lady a $10 drink. “I’m not paying for none of these hos” but you’re paying for your boys every weekend? Yeah…that’s real hetero of you.

This day and age, as women, where it’s so hard to earn respect from or fellow men, we don’t also need the burden of the same sex following their lead. It’s bad enough that we are viewed and treated as objects or even worse, underestimated and ridiculed career wise. It is not my duty or responsibility to change the minds of other people. But it is my duty to ignore them and continue striving to be myself. Which succumbs them to become this catty person and be ignorant instead of brushing their teeth or something. They know, in our presence, others have an opportunity to learn about us and perhaps grow to love us. And they can’t stand that. What can be done to end this cycle? Nothing. Not a damn thing. Which is why ignoring ignorance is the best answer. No matter what you do or say, they will always find something to say about you. They’re just that damn miserable.

finding yourself.

Do you believe in knowing who you are & that you will remain that way forever? Just when you thought you had yourself all figured out, there’s always that one individual that sees you in a totally different perspective that you never viewed before. As they are expressing their opinion of you, to you….you’re either going to agree or disagree right? Well what if most times you find yourself agreeing? Does that mean you really don’t know yourself. All that you were projecting as your persona, was that all a facade? Or does it truly mean we haven’t really found ourselves? Even though all the answers are buried within you, it’s amazing how someone from the outside can sum you up in a matter of minutes. Teaching you how to handle yourself & the ways you can better your ways of self-expression. It’s amazing what you get once you allow yourself to receive.

Once you get through all of our own simplicities, you’ll always find out the root is very complex. Why? Because as we age, we’re learning. All of our experiences & the emotions we felt through them are all wrapped up in a box inside of our souls. Every time we find ourselves in a similar situation, we unwrap that box and dig deep for a better solution than the last. So no, I do not believe you will remain the same forever. It’s emotionally impossible. What is possible, however, is what spectrum of the rainbow you fall under more. The darks or the brights (better known as the positives or the negatives). Some people find themselves “stuck” in their negative ways to the point where the blame is on the whole world but their selves. Showing the inability to take responsibility for the roles they played in other people’s life. How it affected someone else. Did they learn anything from them? Most likely not. Other people take the positive road. Taking full hold of the things they learned and try to figure out how they can make things better next time around. Highlighting the key moments where full satisfaction was accomplished & what they can do to achieve that everlasting smile again.

Our past and our scars (whether they’re fresh or healed) is a reflection of what we believe about ourselves. Within every experience we have in our life, we always learn & grow from it. At least we’re supposed to. Thus, it furthers define who we are. Regardless of what you’ve been told, you can and is able to change with every new experience. Your ex cannot successfully tell you who you are and what you’re about. Because all they’re going by is how you were with them. Each experience enhances your capabilities by giving you something new to draw upon. Every new capability you discover & develop leads to a new opportunity. As long as you have these abilities, there will be endless possibilities for you to grow and learn something new.

So yes, you will find out something new about yourself as you encounter new people in your life. It’s part of the universal flow & the different roads we go through while we’re in route to our own self. It’s up to you to decide on one direction, not to get lost & sticking to it for the next time you need to get there.

originally written october 14th 2007.

Older posts

revolving door.

i hate stripping.

karma is sugar.

catty.

finding yourself.

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