Invent


where’s the respect?

I find it very strange lately how the level of respect for women has lowered lately. I’m not speaking for the women who don’t carry themselves with respect. Sorry. I can’t bring myself to defend women who demoralize themselves. I’m speaking for those who are classy, tactful and independent. Those who work hard for their own and take care of their responsibilities. Why would a grown ass man open his lips and dare call that woman out her name? I’ll tell you why. Their depleted ego. Something in their life didn’t go too well. Ever rejected a man, whether it’s in passing at the mall or after the 3rd date, and he calls you a derogatory name? Or even spread a nasty rumor about you?

Look what Mariah Carey is going through currently with Eminem. All because she did not want to acknowledge their “fling”. He talks shit about her in most of his songs. Years later, she finally decides to respond with her song & video “Obsessed”. What he does next? He responds with a song threatening to release voicemails, nudes pictures & incriminating evidence that they were together. So the fuck what Eminem? Move on. He is the epitome of what I’m talking about. A bitter man who does not know how to get over it and move on. Funny thing is, Rick Ross has called him out many times but he never responded. However, he chooses to pick a fight with female? That’s real manly you dude. We will never question your sexuality Eminem. Oh, and let’s not forget how so many people were actually cheering Chris Brown for what he did to Rihanna. Do you know how many people were attacking Rihanna? Granted Chris Brown received much deserved flack for what he’s done, but Rihanna received just as much herself. “Good for her, I didn’t like her anyways.” What?! Why is that? Why no one wants to back up a woman anymore?

These things are very uncalled for. Not only are you embarrassing yourself as a man, you look like bitter scorned bitch. No one wants to hear your stories about why things didn’t work out between you and ______. So what if she wasn’t what you expected her to be? Who cares if she broke your heart? Does that warrants you to drag her name through the dirt? Do you really believe, in that pitiful insecure mind of yours, that saying all those things make you the better person? What ever happened to cherishing, loving, nurturing & respecting your woman? I understand that rejection can be painful. I understand that there are days where you’re not in a good mood. But that doesn’t make it right. If we, as women, count on a man to protect us, yet that same man disrespects us, who are we to turn to after that? It’s bad enough that we, women, tear each other down on a daily basis. Being in the vicinity of a man takes away the grief that we go through.

I don’t want to bring the media up in my argument…but I have to. I’m seeing women getting exploited more & more on television and I don’t think there will ever be a turn around point. I would not be surprised if one day I turn to a sitcom and they’re showing nipples & bare ass on there. But on the flip side, you barely see men half naked or being depicted as sexual objects. The larger viewing audience are women. Yet, you have half-naked moaning women plastered all over television. Who are they appeasing? Certianly not me…

(Speaking of the media…) Have you ever noticed the way the media advertise depression amongst women? As if we are the only ones that are able to get depressed? Why are they stereotyping women with depression? If women suffer depression because of the “social denigration” they endure, why is it that men also suffer major depression, and commit suicide in numbers far greater than women? Sad that rather than focusing on real underlying causes of depression/anxiety (loss of community, affluenza, promotion of superficial looks) we get ads for a quick fix pill instead. No profit in truly emotionally healthy people I guess huh? As far as I’m concerned, women are targeted to take anti-depressants & the social denigration they face is rarely discussed as a reason for her sadness. I strongly believe the problem is the way society and the media portrays us. As if we’re a bunch of overly emotional creatures. We have the same emotions as men. The only difference is, we express it outwardly much more & with more confidence than men. As I look through Sports Illustrated or a Maxim magazine I have yet to see a prescription drug ad in there dealing with depression. Or weight problems. Or anxiety attacks. Instead of describing depressive illnesses in terms of specific symptoms & medical terms, as they did when the era of Prozac began in the late 1980s, the printed news media are now far more likely to depict women’s mental issues in relation to gender-stereotyped roles, like marriage, motherhood, & menopause. And just like I stated before, descriptions of depression in men have not shifted in the same way. The media, the pharmaceutical industry, the strategically placed ads and commercials. Its all aimed to play on the “weakness” of women. We got to the doctor far more and often end up only handed a pill to fix it rather than given an opportunity to be heard to communicate that there really is an illness at work here.

I don’t know if there’s something in the water, or what. All I do know is, something’s gotta give.

Edit: You can find me at http://diaryofchanel.com if you want some short-text daily rants, ramblings & farts.

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knowing is beautiful.

I know there are no guarantees in life. I know we need our struggles to appreciate any good that comes our way. I know looking in your eyes means so much more then a gentle touch. I know I’m not perfect. I know I’m addictive. I know society has contradictions. I know there are hypocritical people out there. I know karma get the best of us. I know the smooth taste of Hennessy soothes my temper. I know rainy days are gloomy yet electrifies intimacy. I know anything’s possible once you put your mind to it. I know it’s best to ignore ignorance. I know you see me ignoring you. I know I am happy, content & satisfied with my life. I know I am blessed with a beautiful daughter. I know some may dislike me. I know majority love me. I know I don’t care. I know unfortunate people are more grateful for what they have. I know money doesn’t make a man. I know a better body doesn’t make a woman. I know I am never threatened by you or anyone else. I know there’s something about your love that makes me weak. I know I am beautiful, naturally. I know you’re a jealous bitch. I know I’m argumentative. I know I have revolved my ways. I know being a black woman reflects so much more then a “nigger bitch”. I know I am the epitome of independence, strength, survival & control. I know music calms my nerves yet me makes yearn for love. I know he simple adores kissing these lips. I know who I am. I know you have no clue. I know you’re curious. I know you will never figure me out. I know you will never move me. I know the mind holds extreme power. I know money is the root of all evil. I know I may be difficult at times. I know I attract negativity. I know I will continue to protrude positivity. I know you hate me. I know, that you know, that I know, that you are aware…that I know. Trust me, I am knowing and I am informed. And knowing is beautiful.

Knowing is beautiful and doing is wise because actions speak louder than words. By our actions lies truth and nothing’s more beautiful than being true to yourself and others.

Knowing is beautiful and what’s even more beautiful is the woman who knows or at least realizes that she doesn’t have to try to be beautiful. She is beautiful all on her own, with no effort.

It’s impossible to love, while hating. Progress, while oppressing. Trying to promote unity within yourself yet tearing others down. How can you understand if you’re not listening? Withholding rational & logic but expect to be understood & respected? It’s simply impossible. You need to know that there’s only one path to follow = negative or positive. Either we accept what we believe in ourselves and keep it moving or allow others to convince us otherwise. If we love ourselves as the foundation as future growth for our own progress, we don’t need to worry about others hating us. Please know that if you’re that effective towards the world without even saying a word then know that you are phenomenal. Do not acknowledge the negativity. Enforce it into something positive and realize you are that important to even be thought about. In any way. Therefore you just learned one new thing about yourself. It’s much more rewarding to carry yourself with class, grace, & style when so much negativity is thrown your way. Turn your nose up and just ignore the ignorance. People who are unhappy with themselves put so much time into hating others, yet they wanna know everything about them. They judge you and crucify you for the things you have done in your life. Ironically, they have nerve to talk. Then they try to emulate you, befriend your friends, befriend your enemies, follow your life, try to figure out what you’re doing, who you’re doing, when you’re doing it, the whole nine yards. Almost like an obsession. When they are unable to accept the harsh cruel reality, which is their life, they commence to focus on the people they envy (you) and spread rumors about you. You know who you are. You know what you represent. You know what your life entails. You are untouchable.

And just by knowing…you become invincibly beautiful.

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i met him offline.

My first online experience began back in 2001. I was 22 years old. It took me 6 months before I posted one picture of myself. I remember back then, it was considered dangerous to meet anyone from the internet. And if you did, it was stamped “taboo” to say that you met your new boyfriend online. You end up telling people you met him at the gas station, in the bathroom stall or through a “mutual” friend and you guys been getting to know each other for 4 months but you felt like not telling anyone about THIS one. My excuse was always the oh-so clever “We were in the Army together!” or “I dated him back in New York” and it worked all the time. Now here we are, 2009, and people are meeting each other more on the internet, than at the local supermarket. It’s becoming socially acceptable to admit that you met your partner on Myspace. Isn’t that something? People used to make fun of you if you said you actually dated someone from the internet. So what made everyone change their minds all of a sudden? Is it because more people are doing it? I find it so amazing how things become more acceptable just because of popularity. I, for one, enjoy dating men from online. It’s a completely different experience from when you date one that you’ve met at a social event. I have fun comparing the differences. I’ve noticed, that you’re able to grow a stronger emotional bond with someone from online because you’re more focused on conversations and getting to really know who they are. Without being distracted by their physical representation. But there’s a catch. They can lie easily about who they are and where they come from. When you meet someone offline, the first thing you’re focused on is the physical chemistry. Which may derail or impair your judgment and allow you to rush into things sooner than you expected. I can say though, if you’re lazy & cheap, online dating is the way to go, lol. Nowadays, I rarely hear someone say they met their mate OFFLINE. It was always because of an online venue. Some people are even still using BlackPlanet! Can you believe that? That old dried up site that’s filled with bumpy dick perverts. ilk. “I met her offline” is a phrase you rarely hear. Needless to say, the online experience for people is faithfully growing larger each and everyday. Ask that big lipped bitch Soulja Boy.

2009. Can’t really say I have any New Year resolutions because the major changes I wanted to change in my life occurred during 2008. No matter how much you’ve aged and grown, we know there’s always room for improvement. But never wait until Monday, the 1st of the month, or the New Year to make those changes. All you have to do is sit down and have a heart to heart with yourself as soon as you realize the imbalance in your life. Start by meditating, get into deep thought and really examine your life; meaning your current living situation, past relationships, revolving emotions & the people that are involved in your immediate circle. Does everything balances out the way you want it to be? If not then maybe you do need to make a few decisions and try to work things out. Use your resolutions as a guideline and not too much as a list filled of pressures. Always remember though, most likely you’re fine just the way you are. All you’re doing is perfecting your flaws & tuning up the kinks because that’s what makes you unique. It’s never too late to bask in your own imperfections you feel me? May sound like I’m contradicting myself but that’s just my way of balancing out the negative with some positive aspects.

Nevertheless…the new year has begun. Time for something refreshing. Immaculate. Vibrant. Different. Growth. When it’s time for us to grow, we get restless. When it’s time for us to move forward, we get tense. When the time comes for us to let go of the things we know are holding us back, we fall apart. Unfortunately, sometimes we misunderstand what we are feeling and use it as a reason to stay where we are. Funny how no matter what we do or change in our daily life, somehow we still find ourselves in painful situations. Nothing forces us to move faster than pain. We will deal with certain negativity with humbleness but as soon as that line is crossed…what happens? We become hurt, then we bail. But why wait until we are bruised to finally let go? We seen it coming. Yet we wait until it’s too late. So when do we turn our backs so we won’t become hurt again? When everything starts to fall apart. That’s the ultimate sign that pain is on the way. Funny how we wait until then to finally make a difference & to make ourselves feel better though huh. Then we commence to trying our typical remedies to overcome what just happened. However, if the old remedy doesn’t work, try something new. Too many times we’ve cut ourselves down to fit or suit into the situation. There’s no reason to compromise yourself. Fixing ourselves to stay where we are is the very source of our enduring pain. If we allow ourselves to live with a constant dull headache, it means we are not getting the message. But you can be sure that same exact dull headache will eventually turn into a throbbing migraine. Catch it before it gets to that point.

Life isn’t about standing in one spot, moving at one pace. We’re all growing & learning every moment of every day. Regardless of what you have been told, you can & do change with every new experience. Each experience enhances your capabilities by giving you something new to draw upon. With that said, why on earth would we want to live a life where everything remains the same each day? Every new capability you discover during your experiences, develop and leads to a new opportunity. Why even dare to limit yourself to only knowing or doing one thing? Take a chance by putting all you know to use. Don’t be cliche by making a New Year’s resolution. Don’t promise yourself you will lose weight. Don’t swear that you will stop smoking. Don’t force yourself to change for the “better”. Simply just move toward your wildest dreams, with grace & ease, and take the labels off your mind. Step boldly into your greatness with that same potential you have used to get you where you are today. Here.

One of my purposes in life is to make people realize they are more than what they believe they are or deserve. To show them that it is possible to move people with your words, creativity and inspiration. All I want is people to get in touch with how they feel and how they affect others. Treat people how you want to be treated. Logic is the purest form of thought, thought is one of our greatest gifts, and it was intended to be used. I used it to touch each and every one of you. You all are affected now, in some way, by my confessions. Confessions of life, love & self-growth. And I’m in the process of doing it professionally with my degree in Psychology. It’s going to take a few years but I prefer to do it than to live through my life and not doing it at all. My dream was to always reach out to those who have no one else to turn to. To help women through their self-esteem issues. To guide men into understanding how to open up and love. To aide couples in bettering their relationships. Therefore, do not ask me to begin my journey towards my wildest dreams. I already have.

Happy New Year!

offlinedate

LMAO, yeah right!

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