I would like to take the time out to thank those who have made me who I am today. The appreciation I have for those who doubted me, put me down, and relentlessly tried to make me feel less than I am. I am so grateful for your malicious thoughts & actions. Without you, I wouldn’t have had the motivation to really reach my goals. For the ones who felt that I wouldn’t make it, here I am actually doing better than you. If I didn’t have so much negativity thrown my way, I wouldn’t be in the position that I am. The position of strength, courage and inspiration. The way I was able to get through all those bumpy roads. I saw you smiling that whole time I was stressed out. You were probably thinking “Good for her” right? Funny thing is, your smiles is what got me through those hardships. Take this as gospel. The more hateful people that are out there, the more motivated I am to do better.

I am so glad that you were immature enough to become a person that’s beneath me. Spread rumors about me and lie your way into making people believe I am something that I am not. You have no idea how much I appreciated that. At first I was shocked, then I became livid, and soon after I was pleased. I mean hey, if I was able to have you turn against me like that just because you were envious of me, I’m doing something right. But that wasn’t good enough for you. You turned into my personal paparazzi. And I’m not even a celebrity. Imagine that! Followed my every move, cringed your teeth whenever you heard about my accomplishments, befriended my friends & enemies to find our more information about me & etc. Geez. Were you getting paid at an hourly rate for this? lol. You had excellent determination to make my life a pure living hell. Day in and day out you have shown dedication and honor in making me your top priority. Thank you for showing me the way to ignore someone. Thank you for showing me the path to insanity, that way I can make a left instead of a right. If only you spent more time on your own life, like you’ve done with mine, maybe you’d be somewhere positive right now.

The less you gave a fuck about me, the more I gave a fuck about myself. All those times I cried because I wondered how come you didn’t love me the way I deserved to be loved, made me realize that “this” is not what love is about. You opened my eyes to how it felt like to be misunderstood. To be underestimated. To be taking advantaged of. I gave you the best part of me and you ran with that shit. Kudos to you. Because somehow, it found it’s way back and I am able to give it to someone else. I long paid the price for my imperfections. I used to hang my head in shame over the things I was lacking. Over the things you relentlessly pointed out to me. Over the ways you used to highlight on my insecurities. Yet, I refused to let that bring me down. Because you stayed with me. And when I got rid of your ass, you begged for me to come back. Why would you want something you claimed you disliked so much when it was yours? It’s amazing how you said those things wouldn’t make any man want me, however, I have a line outside of my door that waiting for my decision. Because of the way you used to treat me, it gave me more power to get over you. Thank you so much for that incentive.

“Every experience, every emotion…is an opportunity to grow. Once you acquire that talent to turn each and every moment in your life into something positive to learn from, that makes you a survivor. There are only 2 people at the end of a battle. The victim and the survivor.”

Every new situation that I’ve faced in life sent me further away from my past which was dark. Then you have some reminded me of just that, which lead me to believe I shouldn’t take chances. I shouldn’t take risks. But, like an embryo, we must go through changes in order to become whole, healthy and complete. We’re going to feel alone, confused or frightened during the process but it’s all good. The outcome of it all is well worth the struggle. Your negativity, lack of being a role model, the inability to care for your children, the hate you have for me, the advantage you took of my love, were placed in my life accordingly for all the right reasons. In reality, we all are growing, developing, evolving. And while we’re going through these productive changes, you will have a crowd just waiting for you to slip & capitalize on your mistakes. You have a crowd that’s stuck, paused if you will, in their miserable life. Go out there and be carefree especially when you’re trying to achieve your goals. Break the limits. Pass the borders. Color outside of the line. That’s how we’re suppose to live life. Some mornings you may wake up feeling good, ready to go out and take on the world and “be” a great day. But on other days, we wake up to total darkness that makes the whole world seem depressing. On those days remember the words I stated and just live your life. We only get one chance to live on the day we woke up to so live that day to the fullest. Don’t do anything that leds towards the negative. Don’t wait until Monday to start your diet. Don;t wait until after Christmas to break up with him. Don’t wait until the kids are out of school to file for a divorce. Don’t do as you please because it’s your day off. Do as you please everyday and live it as it’s your last.

I must say, I am dearly grateful for those that have entered and left my life. There’s nothing more invigorating than reflecting upon yourself, and where you were 5 years before, then realizing that half of those people are not even there anymore. All of the ones who doubted me. Yet I’m doing better. I’m not stressed out anymore. I don’t get disappointed anymore. My heart doesn’t ache anymore. I’ve become a better person, woman, mother, friend, companion, student, employee, and daughter.

Again, thank you so much for all that you’ve done for me. :blogee:

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