how to lose her.

Thursday, July 10, 2014 0 , 6 kisses!

This is how you lose her.¹ You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely. You must remember when she forgets. You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are ...

radical honesty

Wednesday, January 1, 2014 0 , , 0 kiss me?

When it comes to relationships, I believe that honesty is always the best policy. Not merely remaining faithful. Not in the sense of being able to say that you never really lie to your partner. I’m talking about Radical Honesty; actually coming out and naming the elephants in the room so you can deal with them before they trample all over your relationship. This will improve your relationship. Radical Honesty requires that you speak your truth even when you feel sure that the other person won’t want to hear it. Radical Honesty means that you have to say how you really feel, especially when you believe that you could either avoid x or conversely make y happen by hiding these feelings from them. It is a commitment to authenticity that requires being true to yourself as much as being loyal to another. How long can you pretend to be someone else? If you lack an intrinsic sense of self-worth you may be tempted to censor yourself; to try to express yourself in terms of what would be ...

meeting emotional needs.

Saturday, November 9, 2013 0 , , 0 kiss me?

What is the element that almost guarantees the success and longevity of any relationship? It is fulfilling the emotional needs of our significant other. When we feel good and fulfilled in any relationship, it is because our emotional needs are being met, and when we feel empty and unfulfilled, it is because our emotional needs are not being met. Stop for a moment and think about your past relationships. Do you see a correlation between your happiness and the fulfillment of your emotional needs? Have you ever had the experience of finding yourself in the same relationship over and over again, despite how different your partners may have seemed at first glance? If you think about it, you will likely see a pattern that revolves around not getting one or more of your emotional needs met. If you look closer, these are probably the same needs that were left unfulfilled in your childhood. Could it be that you have been going from one relationship to the next in search of getting your needs met, ...

my love language.

Friday, November 8, 2013 0 , 0 kiss me?

My Love Language Personal Profile Scores 6 - Words of Affirmation 8 - Quality Time 8 - Receiving Gifts 6 - Acts of Service 2 - Physical Touch Interpreting Your Profile Score The highest score indicates your primary love language (the highest score is 12). It’s not uncommon to have two high scores, although one language does have a slight edge for most people. That just means two languages are important to you. The lower scores indicate those languages you seldom use to communicate love and which probably don’t affect you very much on an emotional level. Learn more about your primary love language and how to put it to use next to the corresponding badge below. Quality Time In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time ...

move on.

Great words of advice from a great woman I know: missjia. A lot of you "newly single & bitter" people need to take heed: In this lifetime, if you're lucky, you WILL experience a break up. I call it luck because even though the shit hurts, you will hopefully come out knowing more about yourself and even more about how to treat those who have the pleasure of being with you. A natural reaction to a break up (for some) is making that ex feel jealous, or give off the aura of living this really amazing life now that you're not with them. I've done that. You have too. But it's so breathtakingly amazing when you TRULY get to the point of not giving a third of a damn and just go about living your life for YOU. Stop living to impress someone who you're not even with anymore. Stop laying UNDER someone to get OVER someone else. Not only is it petty as hell but it speaks volumes about your ...

you don’t complete me.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013 1 , , 0 kiss me?

After all of the negative experiences, eliminating people, spiritual warfare, and enduring a bad relationship...these were just lessons to prepare me to find myself. You have to be 100% happy with yourself alone before you can be happy with someone else. Find yourself. Fall in love with yourself first. Once those tasks are executed, the "one" will suddenly appear in your life. Phrases like "You complete me" not only invite co-dependency, they encourage it. If you go through life looking for someone to complete you, then by definition means you need to be fixed in order to be whole. And if you don't find this mythical person to fix you, you go through the rest of your life feeling broken and incomplete. And the longer you go through life feeling incomplete, the harder you're going to look and the more desperate you become. The more desperate you get looking for Mr./Ms. Right, the more likely you are to make bad choices that will affect you for the rest of your life. On the ...