do you hate love?

Love and commitment takes work. A lot of work. And I hate working. Would it be awful of me to say that I’m glad I am not in a relationship because of the work and the stress (and the good stuff) that will come with it? I guess I’m not ready for one, but at the same time, I don’t want one either. I’m happy being single. In fact, I've been celibate for 10 months, so I can see myself being single for a real long time until I find the right man for me. And when I do, I’m sure I’ll be more ready and more willing to put in the effort. However, right now, I’m content at where I’m at in life. Then again, I've always been a bit of a loner, so yeah. And don't try to shade me. I'm not an "angry bitter black woman trying to front like she don't need a man". I would LOVE to have a juicy man in my arms right now. But at the ...

single, celibacy, and cobwebs.

I'm one of those people that believe you're not supposed to die alone. Not supposed to die without companionship. Without love. I used to fake empower myself and make it seem like it's sooooo wonderful to be single and to be able to have sex with anyone I want. No. Being single is fun sometimes, but not all of the time. I don't ever believe people when they say "I love being single" "I'm fine with never getting married" "My pillow is better than a mate" In what world? My opinion: I think people that say these things are just putting up a guard. They don't want to appear sad, lonely, rejected or desperate. I have done a lot of soul searching lately and I have come to a conclusion. I am waiting until I am in a committed relationship before I decide to have sex again. I've done this a couple of years ago and it worked very well for me. I've been doing it for 6 months thus far. I'm waiting for ...

my prayer to God.

Lord, I lift up every one of my relationships to You and ask You to bless them. I pray that each one would be glorifying to You. Help me to choose my friends wisely so I won't be led astray. Give me discernment and strength to separate myself from anyone who is not a good influence. I release all my relationships to You and pray that Your will be done in each one of them. With my most difficult relationships, I ask that Your peace would reign in them. I know two can't walk together unless they agree, so help find a place of agreement, unity, and like-mindedness. Where either of us needs to change, I pray that You would change us. Break down any 'wall of separation' (Ephesians 2:13-13) or misunderstanding. I pray for my relationship with each of my family members. I pray You would bring healing, reconciliation, and restoration where it is needed. Bless our relationship and make it strong. I pray for any relationships I have with people who ...

another reality check to deposit.

Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends. Once you feel you are avoided by someone, never disturb them again. When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you. The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now. Friendships/relationships must be chosen wisely. ...

how to lose her.

This is how you lose her.¹ You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely. You must remember when she forgets. You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are ...