happiness.

The foundation of our happiness is to have a positive sense of self-value. This also guarantee success within ourselves. When we doubt ourselves and allow people to treat us less than our value, we become worthless. Regardless the level of your esteem and security, always remember that you’re unique and you have a gift to offer. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If they do, they are just jealous because they never gotten the chance to know you and know what you’re about. Characteristics that they find as flaws, the next person will adore it. They will follow, monitor and even try to sabotage you just so their miserable ass can nitpick for something out of the ordinary. Let them continue. It means nothing to you & neither do they. You have an unique quality within yourself that they are lacking and instead of acknowledging that quality & giving credit when it’s due, they try their best to convince themselves (and possibly others) that you are the opposite & commence to bring you down. The ...

controlling your anger.

I'm not going to front. I was withholding a little bit of anger in my heart still from some events that occurred the past year, and has been searching for a way to let it go. Today I was finally taught a very good lesson on how to achieve that. A special guest speaker preached a powerful sermon today. His name is Pastor Jeremy Morton. Here are a few things I learned at church today. Nothing is accomplished by anger. Don't cast stones on Paula Deen & others because you're not supposed to compare yourself to other sinners. Who are you when you're stuck in traffic? Who are you when someone cuts in front of you? Who are you when your children act up? Who are you when you get fired? Who are you when your friend unfriends you on Facebook or unfollows you on Twitter? What makes your anger and sins any different than anyone else? What we allow to enter our minds & hearts will determine who we are. God wants us to ...

it will all fall into place.

Having a peace of mind, a good career, a nice bank account, healthy relationships with family & friends, or the path to find love will have it’s rough moments. Don’t think for once that it’s “easy” to find these things and keep them. Especially love. All of these entities can be achieved simultaneously. You don't have to lose weight first in order to mend your relationship with your father. You don't have to have $10,000 in your bank account before you can fall in love. You don't have to wait until you graduate before you can build a better relationship with God. We spend too much time saying "I can't" instead of saying "I WILL". Life will always have it’s ups and downs. It’s your responsibility to just simply embrace those positives AND negatives that you have in your life. Trust me, they balance each other out to prepare you for what's coming next. A lot of us would not be who we are today without that ONE person or ...

growth from the negatives.

This is why I do what I do and blog the way I blog. I know that providing my thoughts, experiences, and advice with others will touch at least one person. Here's an email I received: "Hi Chanel. I just wanted to say thank you for helping me get through tough times in my life. Especially my teenage years. I was 16 when I first started reading your blogs and they have helped me so much. Even with my first love, my insecurities, and how I hated my looks for the longest. But your blogs inspired me to hold my head up and keep moving and not care what people think. Here I am at age 25 now and I'm married with one child, and I couldn't have done it without you. I remember when you used to post pictures of your daughter Tyasia. I used to wish that I had a mother like you that was so strong Because my mother was never here for me, neither was my father. ...

beating the odds.

One of my best friends knows how to make me feel better whenever I'm in doubt of myself, or whenever I need some uplifting. This is an email that Tyasia's father Kenny sent me: You have a great opportunity to focus on you full-bore while we're still young enough to make a real impact. Do your best to get past this phase and ensure that you don't waste this chance thinking that you've failed at something. You're starting anew. You've reared a good young lady, and you have your health. Add to that the life knowledge that you've acquired since you graduated high school till now and you could be a force to be reckoned with. Imagine yourself 5 years from now thinking to yourself what would you have done differently 5 years before. This is your chance to do just that. If you're set on thinking that you've failed then you could embrace that too. There is no success without failure. Success is born from failure in fact. You can't ...

every end brings a new beginning.

Yes. I have ended my engagement. I've actually made this change 3 months ago (5/15/13), but if you know me very well, you know I am a very private person. I tackle my battles on my own because I am my own army. For those that were aware of my transition, I thank you so much for your support & guidance thus far. I've tried my best, and gave him my all (literally!) but it wasn't good enough. Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be. Like the saying goes: No matter how good of a woman you are, you'll never be good enough to a man that isn't "ready". Life may be rough and a lot of unfair events will occur, but don’t allow it to alter your motivation. So many people go through life believing they’re being cheated or the world owes them something. I’m not going to lie, I am very guilty of that because of ...