Obstacles | chanel.

be damned, or don’t give a damn.

You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. When you tell the truth, you’re judged. When you lie, or leave some information out, you’re a manipulator. Why do people have all these demands of you, but when you supply those demands, they complain? My answer to that: Don’t even worry about it. Just stay true to yourself. Whoever likes it, embrace it. Whoever doesn’t, fuck it.

Too many people have allowed themselves to remain in situations that are unproductive. As you mature, you outgrow interests, hobbies, habits and even people. The process of elimination works the best. Especially when you’ve exhausted all attempts to make it right. The more you stay in a negative situation, the more you need to start blaming yourself. All of this blame we place on everyone else for the things we’re unable to do for ourselves are becoming a bit tedious. Blah. If you ask me, I think it’s all a crock of shit. I know for a fact that you know at least one person who was raised a certain way and exposed to certain things and have become the total opposite of what’s been instilled in their mind. Aren’t you one of those people?

If you have the desire to do something, then do it. You will feel much worse if you never did. Then you’ll be living your whole life wondering the “shoulda, coulda, woulda”. Sometimes, we reach a point where we can finally tolerate the downfalls of life, yet are unable to cease it or prevent it from happening again. The only way you will successfully end it all (the negativity, the disappointments, the frustrations) is to stand up for yourself, and stand up for what you believe in. Quit settling & start your search for what you truly deserve. More than likely, your stress is caused by you compromising yourself, to suit others or a particular situation. I know that’s what caused mine. And I’ve ended that cycle. For months I’ve been catering to certain people’s incapability of handling problems the right way, or even their own stress, only out of hope, respect & love. But where was my dignity? Where was my ability to take charge & do what’s right? May have took a few months to achieve that goal but guess what?…I’m here. And the goal was to be able to survive on my own.

When you overcompromise, the only one that is left worn out is yourself, trying to meet the demands of others. You should only pick up after yourself, and pick up your own boulder and carry it yourself, and believe in yourself when you do it, in order to follow through and complete it.

There will be rough times, difficult situations, things to fall into & out of, major obstacles and forks in the road all through your mission. My mission is to allow people to feel how I am feeling by providing my story, followed up with my personal suggestive solution. The power I have to make people open their eyes and see what they couldn’t see before makes me happy on levels beyond my normal reach. I do it because I believe I can do it. I’m not ashamed to tell my stories about my past experiences, shortcomings & failed relationships. Flaws and all, I am honest about who I am.

Finding your inner peace is better than peanut butter.

so selfish.

February 19, 2012
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drama elimination, love & relationships
obstacles, selfish

Selfish people. They suck everything out of you, but when you ask for something in return, they never come through. They pride themselves in making you the bad guy when you finally say “no”. They create melodramatic scenes when you finally ask them to cater to your feelings. For once. You bend over backwards, sometimes even compromise yourself to make them happy. And what’s the thanks you get in return? More selfish acts. More selfish requests. More temper tantrums when they don’t get what they want.

Drained. When you’re the one that’s stuck appeasing everyone in your life, you miss out on your own happiness. You miss out on enjoying things yourself. Then it hits you: you’re tired. You become overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with emotions, feelings and neglect. Because while you’re running around trying to please everyone, no one is running around trying to please you. How do you stop the cycle without losing the people that you love? How do you express your feelings about it, without blowing up because of the frustration?

What if the selfish person is the person you’re in a relationship with? Even though a healthy relationship should be about give and take, in some relationships, selfishness reigns supreme. If your spouse seems forever concerned only about himself, his self-centered ways could put quite the strain on your union. While overcoming this natural tendency to be selfish isn’t something that you can do overnight, with effort you may be able to make him more aware of his selfish ways and perhaps even encourage him to change.

1. Tell him how you feel. Even if you feel your mate’s selfishness is incredibly apparent, he may not see this. Instead of assuming that your mate knows that his behavior is selfish, make your feelings clear. Avoid name-calling when expressing your feelings, but instead focus on simply telling him how you feel and how his lack of attention to your feelings is hurting you emotionally.

2. Write your mate a note. If you struggle with words when speaking to your mate about complex issues such as selfishness face-to-face, express yourself through writing. Compose a letter in which you explain your concerns. By presenting your ideas in written form, you may be able to make it appear less like you are attacking him.

3. Practice compromise. For your mate to be less selfish, he will need to compromise. Start to require compromises for small things, such as selecting a restaurant for dinner, to get your mate used to the idea. By starting small, you can make the transition from selfishness to accommodation a bit less taxing.

4. Insist upon counseling. If your best efforts prove fruitless, counseling may be necessary. If you simply can’t live with your marriage as it stands, demand that your mate go to counseling with you. Although making this demand will likely not be an easy thing to do, it is easier than continuing to exist in a situation in which you are unhappy.

revolving door.

November 20, 2011
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thoughts
obstacles, success

When one door shuts, another one opens. – Author Unknown

This is how I feel about my life right now. Something happened recently that made me feel as though things were going to turn for the worse. Oddly, it didn’t. It should have, but it didn’t! Things only got better. New opportunities arose to expand my side hustle as a web designer, my health is at it’s best, and I’ve been losing weight (15lbs in less than 2 months). Kyle’s career is kicking off with this new opportunity for him working in Human Resources, and my weave has been behaving itself.

I say all of this because I’m bringing light to a situation that had the potential to ruin my life. I was backstabbed by my own “mentor”. I’m not going to try to figure out why it happened. That’s what I used to do. Stress myself out seeking for a reason why I was hurt, why was I lied to, why is this happening to me. You know the “oh woe is me” drama we place on ourselves when we get fucked over. All I can do is overcome the betrayal, and make sure that it doesn’t place a long standing negative effect in my life. And it didn’t. That betrayal actually helped me advance in so many ways. It opened doors for myself and for my family.

While a part of me is still kind of sore from what happened, the better part of me is ecstatic at the fact that my life is so much better now that I don’t have to deal with certain things anymore. I definitely was settling for less in my career, I was becoming more and more stressed out, and my health was deteriorating. i became a doormat and was losing myself in the process.

With all of that said, I am very thankful for that particular door closing on me. Without that, I wouldn’t have a peace of mind today.

i hate stripping.

This is deep. While this may not apply to everybody, it definitely applies to some. Well put @loanyg.

I just want to let everyone know that this was written and recorded in the middle of last year but Im JUST now posting it. I kind of felt that if I would have posted this video while I was still dancing, it would have been a bit of contradiction. Update: I am no longer dancing. Pursuing my photography and working so that I can build on my artistry.
- Loany G.

Good for you babe. Best of luck with your future endeavors!

tired.

Karma: It’s a major task to not seek revenge when someone do you wrong. But when that same person keeps testing you, it becomes hard to “turn the other cheek”. Where I’m from, we say fuck the other cheek. Seek justice. Don’t get me wrong. Karma has not failed me. Eventually, I will get an update on how a person who was vindictive towards me is doing, and 9 times out of 10 they are not doing okay. I smile whenever I get these updates. Not because I wish bad on people but because I am satisfied that karma finally catches up them. However, I’m tired of waiting that long for karma. And I want to take up matters in my own hands. Because I do it so well, and so much better. Recently I had a patient who was relentless in her attempt to get me fired. All because I wouldn’t give her what she wanted. Had I give her what she wanted, I would have jeopardized my job because it was against the rules. But not giving her what she wanted ended up in her trying to get me fired. You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t. I thought about sneaking into the parking lot and giving this spoiled rich bitch a piece of my mind, and maybe a piece of my knuckles. But it was raining and I didn’t feel like getting my hair wet.

Taking someone for granted: People become too comfortable with you when you’re too nice. Then, when you decide to tell them about themselves, you’re not acting like “yourself”. Not entirely true. I am being myself. It’s just that I’ve remained nice for too long. I kept catering, and only catering, YOUR feelings. You keep fucking up, I keep forgiving and now you’re taking advantage of me. It stops today.

Cowardice: An example of cowardice is telling everyone how you really feel about a friend, except for the actual person. I’m the type of person that if I have an issue, I’m going to address it with you. Not with Tom. Not with Keisha. With YOU. These days, people don’t have the balls to tell you how they feel. They don’t have the loyalty to talk to you directly. These days, people aren’t able to handle confrontation, or constructive criticism. The world revolves around them. Everyone wants you “keep it 100%”, but when you do that, they don’t want to accept what’s handed to them. “Communicate with me”. Grant them their wish, next thing you know, YOU’RE the one with the “issue”. You’re the “delusional” one. “Girl, you’re tripping”. – No, I’m not tripping. You just can’t handle the truth. When all is said & done, you got nothing accomplished. You walk away feeling like things are unfinished and then the “friend” runs off to complain to OTHER people about you. Instead of just keeping it where it was: private. There’s a name for people like this that also falls under the category of cowardice: bitch. Also: Male bitch, female bitch, immature bitch, big bitch, lil bitch, insecure bitch, self-centered bitch, dumb bitch & stupid bitch. Everyone wants to be respected, without actually giving that respect. Well, you’re not going to get what you don’t deserve. Fuck you.

This week, I don’t know. I am exhausted. I feel like so many people have showed their true colors towards me. Either they’re jealous of what I have going for myself or they want a piece of my positivity because they’re too miserable to find happiness on their own. Well, I got news for you, I’m over it. I’m over getting riled up. I don’t have the energy for it anymore. From this day forward, I’m only going to focus on the positive.

Older posts

be damned, or don’t give a damn.

so selfish.

revolving door.

i hate stripping.

tired.

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