Invent


i met him offline.

My first online experience began back in 2001. I was 22 years old. It took me 6 months before I posted one picture of myself. I remember back then, it was considered dangerous to meet anyone from the internet. And if you did, it was stamped “taboo” to say that you met your new boyfriend online. You end up telling people you met him at the gas station, in the bathroom stall or through a “mutual” friend and you guys been getting to know each other for 4 months but you felt like not telling anyone about THIS one. My excuse was always the oh-so clever “We were in the Army together!” or “I dated him back in New York” and it worked all the time. Now here we are, 2009, and people are meeting each other more on the internet, than at the local supermarket. It’s becoming socially acceptable to admit that you met your partner on Myspace. Isn’t that something? People used to make fun of you if you said you actually dated someone from the internet. So what made everyone change their minds all of a sudden? Is it because more people are doing it? I find it so amazing how things become more acceptable just because of popularity. I, for one, enjoy dating men from online. It’s a completely different experience from when you date one that you’ve met at a social event. I have fun comparing the differences. I’ve noticed, that you’re able to grow a stronger emotional bond with someone from online because you’re more focused on conversations and getting to really know who they are. Without being distracted by their physical representation. But there’s a catch. They can lie easily about who they are and where they come from. When you meet someone offline, the first thing you’re focused on is the physical chemistry. Which may derail or impair your judgment and allow you to rush into things sooner than you expected. I can say though, if you’re lazy & cheap, online dating is the way to go, lol. Nowadays, I rarely hear someone say they met their mate OFFLINE. It was always because of an online venue. Some people are even still using BlackPlanet! Can you believe that? That old dried up site that’s filled with bumpy dick perverts. ilk. “I met her offline” is a phrase you rarely hear. Needless to say, the online experience for people is faithfully growing larger each and everyday. Ask that big lipped bitch Soulja Boy.

2009. Can’t really say I have any New Year resolutions because the major changes I wanted to change in my life occurred during 2008. No matter how much you’ve aged and grown, we know there’s always room for improvement. But never wait until Monday, the 1st of the month, or the New Year to make those changes. All you have to do is sit down and have a heart to heart with yourself as soon as you realize the imbalance in your life. Start by meditating, get into deep thought and really examine your life; meaning your current living situation, past relationships, revolving emotions & the people that are involved in your immediate circle. Does everything balances out the way you want it to be? If not then maybe you do need to make a few decisions and try to work things out. Use your resolutions as a guideline and not too much as a list filled of pressures. Always remember though, most likely you’re fine just the way you are. All you’re doing is perfecting your flaws & tuning up the kinks because that’s what makes you unique. It’s never too late to bask in your own imperfections you feel me? May sound like I’m contradicting myself but that’s just my way of balancing out the negative with some positive aspects.

Nevertheless…the new year has begun. Time for something refreshing. Immaculate. Vibrant. Different. Growth. When it’s time for us to grow, we get restless. When it’s time for us to move forward, we get tense. When the time comes for us to let go of the things we know are holding us back, we fall apart. Unfortunately, sometimes we misunderstand what we are feeling and use it as a reason to stay where we are. Funny how no matter what we do or change in our daily life, somehow we still find ourselves in painful situations. Nothing forces us to move faster than pain. We will deal with certain negativity with humbleness but as soon as that line is crossed…what happens? We become hurt, then we bail. But why wait until we are bruised to finally let go? We seen it coming. Yet we wait until it’s too late. So when do we turn our backs so we won’t become hurt again? When everything starts to fall apart. That’s the ultimate sign that pain is on the way. Funny how we wait until then to finally make a difference & to make ourselves feel better though huh. Then we commence to trying our typical remedies to overcome what just happened. However, if the old remedy doesn’t work, try something new. Too many times we’ve cut ourselves down to fit or suit into the situation. There’s no reason to compromise yourself. Fixing ourselves to stay where we are is the very source of our enduring pain. If we allow ourselves to live with a constant dull headache, it means we are not getting the message. But you can be sure that same exact dull headache will eventually turn into a throbbing migraine. Catch it before it gets to that point.

Life isn’t about standing in one spot, moving at one pace. We’re all growing & learning every moment of every day. Regardless of what you have been told, you can & do change with every new experience. Each experience enhances your capabilities by giving you something new to draw upon. With that said, why on earth would we want to live a life where everything remains the same each day? Every new capability you discover during your experiences, develop and leads to a new opportunity. Why even dare to limit yourself to only knowing or doing one thing? Take a chance by putting all you know to use. Don’t be cliche by making a New Year’s resolution. Don’t promise yourself you will lose weight. Don’t swear that you will stop smoking. Don’t force yourself to change for the “better”. Simply just move toward your wildest dreams, with grace & ease, and take the labels off your mind. Step boldly into your greatness with that same potential you have used to get you where you are today. Here.

One of my purposes in life is to make people realize they are more than what they believe they are or deserve. To show them that it is possible to move people with your words, creativity and inspiration. All I want is people to get in touch with how they feel and how they affect others. Treat people how you want to be treated. Logic is the purest form of thought, thought is one of our greatest gifts, and it was intended to be used. I used it to touch each and every one of you. You all are affected now, in some way, by my confessions. Confessions of life, love & self-growth. And I’m in the process of doing it professionally with my degree in Psychology. It’s going to take a few years but I prefer to do it than to live through my life and not doing it at all. My dream was to always reach out to those who have no one else to turn to. To help women through their self-esteem issues. To guide men into understanding how to open up and love. To aide couples in bettering their relationships. Therefore, do not ask me to begin my journey towards my wildest dreams. I already have.

Happy New Year!

offlinedate

LMAO, yeah right!

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life goes on.

Life is going to be a challenge. There will be rough times, difficult situations, major obstacles and forks in the road that will distract you from reaching your destination. There will be manipulative people that are envious of your accomplishments & people that will succumb to spreading rumors about you because they don’t have what it takes to reach your level. For every personal goal that I’ve tried to accomplish there was always at least one thing (or one person) trying to get in my way. But I’m no fool. I looked beyond that and kept striving to succeed. Granted not everything I started I finished, but I gave it my best while I was active in it. The only way to get where you want to be is to do what needs to be done to get there. Now that you know what to expect, prepare yourself. Never give up on what you believe in. It really doesn’t matter how long it takes to reach your goal. As long as you have determination and motivation to get you there. The moment you give up on doing it, it will never get done.

Everything that we experience, everything we think, feel and do is in divine order and if it’s in a path to do someone wrong, karma will catch up with you. Life is fabulous. I refuse to allow anything or anyone shit on my parade. I wish I would allow any sort of drama, stress, disappointments and betrayal get the best of me anymore. I can’t stop it from happening because that’s just how life is and sometimes we have to struggle through that, however, I can stop it from derailing my natural being. My power of ignoring comes very handy at this point. But sometimes you tend to wonder why certain things happen. Why people can’t just think before they apply action. Do they know that unless you can benefit from it in the future, whatever they think, say or do to you will only make them look stupid? Me? I can give a remote fuck what’s being said about me amongst juvenile individuals because they serve no purpose in my life. While all these games, charades & senseless rumors are going on there’s a strong being called reality that you have no clue about. And while you’re suffering from the lack of reality, everyone else around you are climbing to higher levels. My reality does not involve any of you. I don’t do things in life to impress anyone but myself. I don’t go through great lengths just to prove anyone wrong. That’s for young minded people with low self-esteem and insecurity problems.

As an adult with 29 years of knowledge, I refuse to carry myself as a predictable woman with no standards or morals. I have enough experience to know why things happen and why people act the way they do. I’m not even going to ponder on why certain things happen. I already know the answer to that and it’s very very sad. But in general, they happen because they are meant to strengthen our ability to handle anyone & anything at any given moment. It happens to put you right back on track on who, when and what to trust. Everything that you go through happen the way they should, at the right time, to the right people, and ended the right way. The only job we have, is to know we are equipped to handle it. I know I’m equipped to handle just about anything because I am strong minded, experienced enough, independent, assertive and realistic.

Are you?

Random Thoughts:

1 – Annoyance. Please tell me who was the super-size geek that created the robot phone operator? This has got to be the most annoying invention of mankind. You call your cellphone company & the first 17 minutes is spent yelling into the phone & you haven’t even reached a rep yet. Why am I fighting with a prerecorded voice? You are literally arguing with a machine that you said BILLING and not SALES. No matter how many times I say “operator”, the stupid bitch keep saying “Okay, before I connect you, please tell me what is the problem?”. The problem is YOU, for pete’s sake. I always end up yelling “CUSTOMER SERVICE!” or vigorously pressing “0″ so I can get a live operator. When will these companies realize it’s much more annoying and time consuming than keying in the options through your phone?

2 – Gross. Do I really want a man to refer to me as a “Bust It Baby”? Ya’ll do know the song is about being a woman with extraordinary carnal abilities. No thanks. I already know I’m good. I’d like to be remembered and referred to for my fantastic yarning skills.

3 – Redundancy. Why send me a message on Myspace, asking me the same questions I’ve answered all over my page? You send a friend request, I accept you, then you go back to my page, just to send me a message to ask “Where are you from?” or “How old are you?”. That tells me that all you did was look at my pictures.

4 – Speaking of Myspace, if you don’t have an actual contract, you’re not a model or a recording artist. Spare me with your jobless ass.

5 – Racists. Please don’t take your hostility out on me because Obama won. I didn’t take my hostility out of you when all of the other 43 presidents won.

6 – Please keep your bad ass children at home. I refuse to feast at PF Changs next to a 4 year old crying over not having mayonaisse.

7 -  Now that gas is finally back to $1.90, what are you going to do with the extra $50 you saved on filling your tank?

8 – When did not being a gentleman became cool?

9 – Excuse me miss, but why are you the one pumping gas when there’s a grown ass man in your passenger seat?

10 – You don’t have to like it. Because there’s someone out there who loves it. Remember that.

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