Too many people have allowed themselves to remain in situations that are unproductive. As you mature, you outgrow interests, hobbies, habits and even people. The process of elimination works the best. Especially when you’ve exhausted all attempts to make it right. The more you stay in a negative situation, the more you need to start blaming yourself. All of this blame we place on everyone else for the things we’re unable to do for ourselves are becoming a bit tedious. Blah. If you ask me I think it’s all a crock of shit. I know for a fact that you know at least one person who was raised a certain way and exposed to certain things and have become the total opposite of what’s been instilled in their mind. Aren’t you one of those people?

If you have the desire to do something, then do it. You will feel much worse if you never did. Then you’ll be living your whole life wondering the “shoulda, coulda, woulda”. Sometimes, we reach a point where we can finally tolerate the downfalls of life, yet are unable to cease it or prevent it from happening again. The only way you will successfully end it all (the negativity, the disappointments, the frustrations) is to stand up for yourself, and stand up for what you believe in. Quit settling & start your search for what you truly deserve. More than likely, your stress is caused by you compromising yourself, to suit others or a particular situation. I know that’s what caused mine. And I’ve ended that cycle. For months I’ve been catering to certain people’s incapability of handling problems the right way, or even their own stress, only out of hope, respect & love. But where was my dignity? Where was my ability to take charge & do what’s right? May have took a few months to achieve that goal but guess what?…I’m here. And the goal was to be able to survive on my own.

There will be rough times, difficult situations, things to fall into & out of, major obstacles and forks in the road all through your mission. My mission is to allow people to feel how I am feeling by providing my story, followed up with my personal suggestive solution. The power I have to make people open their eyes and see what they couldn’t see before makes me happy on levels beyond my normal reach. I do it because I believe I can do it. I’m not ashamed to tell my stories about my past experiences, shortcomings & failed relationships. Flaws and all, as long as I am honest about who I am.

Finding your inner peace is better than peanut butter.

2009. Can’t really say I have any New Year resolutions because the major changes I wanted to change in my life occurred during 2008. No matter how much you’ve aged and grown, we know there’s always room for improvement. But never wait until Monday, the 1st of the month, or the New Year to make those changes. All you have to do is sit down and have a heart to heart with yourself as soon as you realize the imbalance in your life. Start by meditating, get into deep thought and really examine your life; meaning your current living situation, past relationships, revolving emotions & the people that are involved in your immediate circle. Does everything balances out the way you want it to be? If not then maybe you do need to make a few decisions and try to work things out. Use your resolutions as a guideline and not too much as a list filled of pressures. Always remember though, most likely you’re fine just the way you are. All you’re doing is perfecting your flaws & tuning up the kinks because that’s what makes you unique. It’s never too late to bask in your own imperfections you feel me? May sound like I’m contradicting myself but that’s just my way of balancing out the negative with some positive aspects.

Nevertheless…the new year has begun. Time for something refreshing. Immaculate. Vibrant. Different. Growth. When it’s time for us to grow, we get restless. When it’s time for us to move forward, we get tense. When the time comes for us to let go of the things we know are holding us back, we fall apart. Unfortunately, sometimes we misunderstand what we are feeling and use it as a reason to stay where we are. Funny how no matter what we do or change in our daily life, somehow we still find ourselves in painful situations. Nothing forces us to move faster than pain. We will deal with certain negativity with humbleness but as soon as that line is crossed…what happens? We become hurt, then we bail. But why wait until we are bruised to finally let go? We seen it coming. Yet we wait until it’s too late. So when do we turn our backs so we won’t become hurt again? When everything starts to fall apart. That’s the ultimate sign that pain is on the way. Funny how we wait until then to finally make a difference & to make ourselves feel better though huh. Then we commence to trying our typical remedies to overcome what just happened. However, if the old remedy doesn’t work, try something new. Too many times we’ve cut ourselves down to fit or suit into the situation. There’s no reason to compromise yourself. Fixing ourselves to stay where we are is the very source of our enduring pain. If we allow ourselves to live with a constant dull headache, it means we are not getting the message. But you can be sure that same exact dull headache will eventually turn into a throbbing migraine. Catch it before it gets to that point.

Life isn’t about standing in one spot, moving at one pace. We’re all growing & learning every moment of every day. Regardless of what you have been told, you can & do change with every new experience. Each experience enhances your capabilities by giving you something new to draw upon. With that said, why on earth would we want to live a life where everything remains the same each day? Every new capability you discover during your experiences, develop and leads to a new opportunity. Why even dare to limit yourself to only knowing or doing one thing? Take a chance by putting all you know to use. Don’t be cliche by making a New Year’s resolution. Don’t promise yourself you will lose weight. Don’t swear that you will stop smoking. Don’t force yourself to change for the “better”. Simply just move toward your wildest dreams, with grace & ease, and take the labels off your mind. Step boldly into your greatness with that same potential you have used to get you where you are today. Here.

One of my purposes in life is to make people realize they are more than what they believe they are or deserve. To show them that it is possible to move people with your words, creativity and inspiration. All I want is people to get in touch with how they feel and how they affect others. Treat people how you want to be treated. Logic is the purest form of thought, thought is one of our greatest gifts, and it was intended to be used. I used it to touch each and every one of you. You all are affected now, in some way, by my confessions. Confessions of life, love & self-growth. And I’m in the process of doing it professionally with my degree in Psychology. It’s going to take a few years but I prefer to do it than to live through my life and not doing it at all. My dream was to always reach out to those who have no one else to turn to. To help women through their self-esteem issues. To guide men into understanding how to open up and love. To aide couples in bettering their relationships. Therefore, do not ask me to begin my journey towards my wildest dreams. I already have.

Happy New Year!

LMAO, yeah right!

Relationships or the path to find love will have it’s rough moments. Don’t think for once that it’s “easy” to find love and to keep love. Both entities has it’s ups and downs. It’s your responsibility to embrace those that you have in your life. And if by chance they are not in your life anymore, cherish the memories and be thankful for the time that they were present in it. A lot of us would not be who we are today without that one person to show us the light of our ways. There are far too many times we are remembering the hurt and pain but can’t seem to remember the greater & more joyful things that we have all experienced. The road to finding love will have those potholes. There will be times where you will feel disappointed, rejected, disrespected, hurt, or even violated. Don’t let that stop you on your journey. You will shed a lot of tears and have many frustrating moments. Striving for your happiness will not come easy. There will be times where you are going to lay in bed at night and wonder if you’re ever going to fall hopelessy in love again. Wondering, is this marriage going to work? Am I a good father? Does he love me for who I am?

Stop blaming everyone else for your current condition & take full responsibility for yourself. “My father was a deadbeat dad, that’s why I don’t take care of my kids.” “I was abused as a child so beating my kids is the only thing I know.” “Alcholism runs in my family.” People choose to be who they are. All of these poor excuses/justifications you’re making for your wrong doings is only making you appear more weak minded. You don’t choose your family because you’re born into them, however, you make the decisions in who you friends are because that’s the privilege we have. Correct? So why can’t you apply those same decision making aspects into the way you lead your life? Just because you were exposed to alcohol usage, that doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to become an alcoholic. Just because your father physically abused your mother, doesn’t mean you should ever fall prey to hit a woman. I don’t care what you’ve been through. We have been going through life long enough to learn not to make excuses for our faulty ways. How do you expect to grow if we’re unable to learn from our past? From what we’ve been exposed to? If I continue to blame everyone for where I’ve been, isn’t is just as fair for me to blame myself for where I go? We have a reason to be vulnerable or even angry about our history, but there’s no reason for us to remain where we are. There’s no reason to aimlessly try to follow the footsteps of someone’s erroneous behavior.

You’re the only person responsible for your happiness. One of our main goals in life is to not be dependent on someone else. To take strides within our own paths in a route that we’ve created, on our own, as the years have gone by. Why let someone’s conditions place a restriction in your path or on who you are? Yes I understand we’re influenced by at least one person in our lives, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to clone their behavior & follow in their negative footsteps. If my mother’s greatest attribute is always giving a helping hand, yet, her least appealing attribute is her addiction to drugs, which one you think is best to pick up? With that being said, spare me the drama and the tear sheds of whoever, whenever, why ever such & such made you act the way you do. All that tells me is that you’re more weak minded than I thought. Mature people with strong minds gives no excuses for their actions. They embrace their shortcomings and if it affects others, they will try their best to fix it. Stop giving the word “influence” so much power. Influence means “To affect the nature, development, or condition of.” Looks to me, it can work both ways. Positive & negative. Yet, you chose the negative (otherwise known as the meek) route. Too many times I’ve heard people blame their upbringing or experiences on why they treat others a certain way. It’s always because of their mom, dad, ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, what one of their friends said & etc. I mean, I’m getting so tired of these lame excuses. I really don’t care what you’ve been through to be honest. Granted, scars don’t heal but they are not meant to be the blue print of the rest of your experiences in life.

As long as you find someone else to blame for anything you are doing, you cannot be held accountable or responsible for your growth or the lack of it.

Sun Bear