When you enter a relationship, you don’t often think or see beyond the physical being. We’re attracted to the body, face or personality. We probably like what the person do, say, handle or feel about a situation. In most shallow moments, some may be attracted to their lifestyle, popularity, material things and/or income. We enjoy their conversation, we’re engulfed by their kiss and we’re even amused by their humor. We may even experience a pull from within that we can’t actually explain so we find ourselves sharing our bodies with them as if “the time was right“. You’re supposed to protect, nurture & handle your person with care. You can’t treat sex as if it’s a casual thing to do with someone that you want to build with. I’m sickened with the fact that sex is taken so lightly now. With STDs/HIV growing, people dying, unwanted pregnancies and all of these life threatening diseases caused by sexual intercourse going around, one should think twice before they hand over their body to someone due to lack of sexual control. Ever thought about wanting more for yourself other than 15 minutes of casual dick rammed up your ass? Demand more self-respect and you will get it in return. I’m sure with the way you present yourself, men should not believe that you are to be used for sex or anything sexually related. So why is it that most of the men we encounter is trying to have sex before anything else? Then they have this fucked up perception that if they spend a certain amount of money, sex should be granted to them. I will never know the answer to that other than maybe it’s a part of being immature. The attitude does not change by race, age nor lifestyle either. Older men are just as starved out for sex as younger men. The difference is, older men use that tired ass “We’re both grown” excuse. Please. People claim it’s harder (no pun intended) for men to restrain from trying to have sex with a beautiful woman laying next to them. Whatever @ that stereotype. Pure bullshit. We need to stop making excuses for men who lack respect for women. If a man tells me he doesn’t want me to put my finger in his ass until we’re in a commitment, I’m not gonna try to sneak my finger in between his ass crack every damn time we’re together. So if I say I am not ready to have sex with you, then build a bridge and get over it. Patience is virtue. If you’re unable to respect that, then I don’t need you in my life anyway. It’s as simple as that.

How often do we stop to consider the true depth of the person we’re attracted to? Plenty of men have been attracted to me in these ways and even considered starting a commitment with me but they never gotten the chance to learn & embrace the real me. They were just going by my blueprint. Not taking enough time to figure me out and dissect the path on how I got where I am today. We all have a past, present & future and not enough people show interest in that. Which is why so many of us are “stuck” in these empty relationships. Or possibly because they’re so desperate in finding love that they will accept whatever comes their way. You can stop looking, forcing and trying to make it happen. Especially in the wrong person. Love is not a struggle. It happens naturally. When you look in their eyes, you will know that they are the one. Even before the “love” presents itself. You make sacrifices, you compromise & you place yourself at levels that you couldn’t imagine doing with anyone else. A lot of people don’t value these things anymore. They see it as a “hassle” and actually frown upon settling down, growing a relationship and actually just being exclusive to one person. I refuse to give someone all of my time if I am not getting the same in return. You know what I say to men who believe that they can have sex after the first date? I say “Sure thing, but take me shopping first.” Because we all know men have the same hang ups about spending money on a woman, as we do about giving it up that easily. We like to wait to see if that man is worth giving our bodies to, just like he wants to wait to see if she’s worth him taking her shopping and etc.

I can’t only blame the men now. Because how are they getting away with these acts? Women are allowing them to. These women are trying to state what their standards are and when the man tells them they are only interested in one thing, they accept that. Or even worse, there are women out there who would broadcast that all they want is sex, and it doesn’t if the man is married/committed. It’s just a bad cycle revolving in more ways than one, which will be very hard to stop because it’s becoming more acceptable in today’s society. Insecurity and low self-esteem, of course, is to blame as well. I’m also not knocking people who have decided to maintain a sexual relationship with someone. Sometimes you are able to mutually agree that this is all you want, with no strings attached. It’s just so disheartening though that the older we get, more and more people are seeking that more than an actual monogamy.