Circle one if you are: Single / Married / Divorced / Separated – (Where’s the damn “Dating” option?)

People tend to say the reason why I am single is because I’m picky, I have too many high standards, I’m a maneater, because I’m not willing to succumb & be submissive, because I’m independent…blah blah blah, cluck cluck cluck. Forget all that. I am single because I have yet to come across someone who I am able to be compatible with. I refuse to waste months and months of my life in a false relationship. I refuse to settle. I refuse to lower my standards. I refuse to fuck you on the first date. I refuse to be your side chick. I refuse to date you for more than 2 years with no ring. I refuse to force love. These are just a few of the reasons why I am single. It’s not involuntary. It’s my choice. I chose to be single because I just haven’t met the right man yet. I have my spurts when I serial date (about once a month), but…I don’t ever find that guy that makes me go “ooOOooOoo”. Sure I have my share of men that wants to commit, but I don’t want to commit to them. They’re just not my type.

While you’re lying in my bed, I wonder what the hell I am doing. Why do I continue to feel this way. What the hell am I doing with you. We used to connect emotionally but now I feel as if I don’t even know you. The things you’ve said to me, said about me, done to me….gave me enough ammunition to leave you. But I didn’t. Why am I here? Why am I with you? You don’t deserve a woman like me. And I damn sure don’t deserve a man like you. Your attitude stinks. Your outlook on life & relationships aren’t even what they used to be. And last but not least, I’m not even attracted to you anymore. So again I ask myself, why am I still with you? Why am I torturing myself? Why am I compromising love?

I hate to admit this but, I’ve felt this way before. More than once. I’m sure you have as well? Well, I refuse to feel this way ever again. I don’t want to ever find myself in an unsatisfying relationship ever again. If I’m not feeling your style, I will let you go from the jump. If your way of living doesn’t appease to me, I won’t continue to contact you. If your breath stink, I will change my number. I will never become one of those women that see the tell-tale signs of a troubled man and then start a relationship with him. That’s why there are women out here stuck in long-term relationships with a “fucked up” man. He’s not fucked up. You’re the fool to commit to him after knowing that he’s really not your type in the first place. Sometime during the first 6 months you knew he liked to smoke. So why 2 years later you’re trying to make him stop? Some women self-esteem is so low, that they will be with a man, just to be validated. You think it’s cute to parade around with a shitty relationship shouting “Hey ya’ll…I got man! Look, look!…I got a man!”  Oh yeah? That’s good that you got a man, but that same man ain’t shit. That’s why so many of us are in disharmonious relationships.You rush into things, you take the first man that ever showed you attention, you’re bedazzled by his bank account, you’re whipped over the good dick…man…get your head out of the clouds. That’s not what love is about.

I like to take my time and feel out the person I want to be with. I’m far from naive so I usually find out within a month that he’s not gonna be the one I want to be with (sometimes a week). I’m very down to earth and open-minded so I expect you to be the same also. I refuse to try to change someone. Wait…I’m lying. I’ve done it in the past, but it was all in good effort to better someone. Not to make us work. I don’t tolerate the bullshit that these men try to put us through either. Don’t get me wrong now, I’m not “male bashing” but I know a few men that will even admit to treating good women like shit in the past. They claim it’s just a “natural male instinct”. I say that’s bull. And I try my best not to partake in anyone’s “natural male instinct”. Please. Before we can start building a foundation for the both of us you have to prove that you’re HIV negative, understand that my daughter comes first in my life, I do not tolerate infidelity and communication is the key through any problem we may have.

Should I be depressed because I haven’t found him yet? Or should I be happy because I still have the chance to date whomever I like, whenever I like? I’m not looking however. Whatever happens, happen. I start “looking” once I meet that potential. I look within. And all I’m looking for is stability. Consistent affection & excessive amounts of sex with my mate. Overall, someone who understands me and what I’ve been through, who I can grow with & build a new life together. My main rule is this: Always remember that no matter how you’re built, there will always be at least one person that will recognize that & embrace it. So why settle for a person that only adore half of you. Why should I compromise my standards and date a man that can’t look me in his eyes and see me as a plan in his future? I’m not waiting 5 years for a ring. I’m not changing how I dress. I’m not adjusting my morality to please your sexual desires. I just won’t. I prefer to be happy alone, than to be miserable with someone in my life.

I’m 30. I’m single. And I’m happy.