“You Had Me At Goodbye” – written by Chanel Cheeks.

I’m so glad you were able to find me to read this. I don’t recall if I ever got this off my chest. But for emotional efficiency, I’ll go ahead and knock this out again. That night you left me. Laying in my bed, alone. Not one teardrop is falling my my eyes. It was 9:15pm. And I thought, finally…I can breathe again. That’s what was going through my mind the night we parted. It was so suffocating when you were around. Now I can do my normal daily activities without you hovering over my shoulder. There were times where I would fake sleep just to avoid conversation with you. Looking at you, especially after you just picked a fight with me, became more and more painful each day. Or maybe it was just your damn face that did it. Without you even opening your mouth. Your insecurities. All of your blame. The finger pointing. The melodramatic way you always made me the bad guy. Your guilt. Your distrust. Your lies. Because you weren’t able to get over me, you became a lying loquacious idiot. A true bitch in the making.

I cared about you, even though you didn’t deserve it. I satisfied you, despite of how unattractive you were to me. I trusted you, even though from the beginning you lied to me. I loved you, still, no matter how many times you broke my heart. Sometimes I wonder what did I ever see in you. Or why is it that the truth was lying right in front of my face, but I chose to ignore it? I learned the hard way. Over and over again. Silly of me. Did you know that every time I asked you for the truth, I already knew it? Did you know that 90% of the time, I faked it? Did you know that I never respected your father? Did you know that I was still in love with someone else? Did you know that I was scared to have a future with you because I was frightened at the fact that my future was going to turn out just as ugly as you?

Remember the time you called me, begging for forgiveness and for us to have a second chance? I had you on speaker phone the whole time so my new man can hear you. We had a great laugh that night.

Okay, okay, so you broke up with me. You’re the bred winner, correct? Wrong. Have you ever sat and thought of everything that actually led up to that point? Or what about the way that I pretty much let you leave? That wasn’t unusual to you? I practically rushed you out of my life. Was it premeditated? Planned? A fantasy of mine? I don’t mean to interrupt your conception of how things ended but, it ended before you told me “goodbye”.

Is this in reference to you directly? Or to the one I was with before you? Hmm. Good question. I’ll tell you what…..if any of my statements that I have said hit home somehow, and made you feel really guilty, then yes…I was talking about you sweetheart. Maybe not this vent in it’s entirety. But you were definitely in my thoughts while I typed this. Get in where you fit in honey. I’m sure you’re already snug though.

I was actually excited when you said goodbye. Finally, I’ve gotten the chance to get out of a relationship, without being the bad guy. How cool is that! Huh?! Because from the moment we got together, I knew it wasn’t going to last. Thank you so much for letting me go. I wouldn’t have, what I have now, if you never lost a grip of your manhood. Or lack thereof. It’s amazing how one man’s lost, is another man’s gain. You whine and complain about how there are “no good women out there” yet when there was one right in your face, you didn’t know what to do with her. So you left. However, someone knew what to do with her though. And he does it very well.

Ultimately sweetie, saying goodbye to me, ended up being the moment where I loved you the most. Thank you.