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Posts Tagged ‘jealousy’

knowing is beautiful.

On May 3, 2009   /   drama elimination, reality, thoughts   /   7 Comments
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I know there are no guarantees in life. I know we need our struggles to appreciate any good that comes our way. I know looking in your eyes means so much more then a gentle touch. I know I’m not perfect. I know I’m addictive. I know society has contradictions. I know there are hypocritical people out there. I know karma get the best of us. I know the smooth taste of Hennessy soothes my temper. I know rainy days are gloomy yet electrifies intimacy. I know anything’s possible once you put your mind to it. I know it’s best to ignore ignorance. I know you see me ignoring you. I know I am happy, content & satisfied with my life. I know I am blessed with a beautiful daughter. I know some may dislike me. I know majority love me. I know I don’t care. I know unfortunate people are more grateful for what they have. I know money doesn’t make a man. I know a better body doesn’t make a woman. I know I am never threatened by you or anyone else. I know there’s something about your love that makes me weak. I know I am beautiful, naturally. I know you’re a jealous bitch. I know I’m argumentative. I know I have revolved my ways. I know being a black woman reflects so much more then a “nigger bitch”. I know I am the epitome of independence, strength, survival & control. I know music calms my nerves yet me makes yearn for love. I know he simple adores kissing these lips. I know who I am. I know you have no clue. I know you’re curious. I know you will never figure me out. I know you will never move me. I know the mind holds extreme power. I know money is the root of all evil. I know I may be difficult at times. I know I attract negativity. I know I will continue to protrude positivity. I know you hate me. I know, that you know, that I know, that you are aware…that I know. Trust me, I am knowing and I am informed. And knowing is beautiful.

Knowing is beautiful and doing is wise because actions speak louder than words. By our actions lies truth and nothing’s more beautiful than being true to yourself and others.

Knowing is beautiful and what’s even more beautiful is the woman who knows or at least realizes that she doesn’t have to try to be beautiful. She is beautiful all on her own, with no effort.

It’s impossible to love, while hating. Progress, while oppressing. Trying to promote unity within yourself yet tearing others down. How can you understand if you’re not listening? Withholding rational & logic but expect to be understood & respected? It’s simply impossible. You need to know that there’s only one path to follow = negative or positive. Either we accept what we believe in ourselves and keep it moving or allow others to convince us otherwise. If we love ourselves as the foundation as future growth for our own progress, we don’t need to worry about others hating us. Please know that if you’re that effective towards the world without even saying a word then know that you are phenomenal. Do not acknowledge the negativity. Enforce it into something positive and realize you are that important to even be thought about. In any way. Therefore you just learned one new thing about yourself. It’s much more rewarding to carry yourself with class, grace, & style when so much negativity is thrown your way. Turn your nose up and just ignore the ignorance. People who are unhappy with themselves put so much time into hating others, yet they wanna know everything about them. They judge you and crucify you for the things you have done in your life. Ironically, they have nerve to talk. Then they try to emulate you, befriend your friends, befriend your enemies, follow your life, try to figure out what you’re doing, who you’re doing, when you’re doing it, the whole nine yards. Almost like an obsession. When they are unable to accept the harsh cruel reality, which is their life, they commence to focus on the people they envy (you) and spread rumors about you. You know who you are. You know what you represent. You know what your life entails. You are untouchable.

And just by knowing…you become invincibly beautiful.

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the best friend.

On September 26, 2008   /   drama elimination, general, reality, relationshits   /   12 Comments
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You decided to let me go, wanted to start “seeing other people”
and I cried for days.
I called you 10 times, trying to change your mind…
but you wouldn’t listen. You ignored my calls.
I guess it was for the best, since you always treated me less.
We argued for too long, and you stopped showing me attention.
Too many nights were spent alone, hugging my pillow.
I caught you too many times flirting with other women.
I found myself checking my phone, just to see if I have service
or if the ringer was off by accident.
No missed calls.
Damn…you really didn’t call.
You were supposed to come back, and tell me it was a mistake.
That you never meant what you said the night before.
That you love me
adore me
miss me
appreciated me.
Appreciation. Let’s talk about that for a moment.
When I changed my hair color, you didn’t notice it.
When I lost 10 pounds, you still complained that I needed to lose more weight.
When I graduated with honors, you felt I wasn’t smart enough.
When I got that raise, you suggested that I was sleeping with my boss.
And when I asked if you ever thought about marrying me…
you said I wasn’t good enough.
I should have left you then
I should have left you sooner than the night you left me.
But all that is done and over with.
I’ve moved on.
And now…2 months later…
you’re on me like white on rice.
All of a sudden, you’re noticing me.
Because I got my legs open…
for your best friend.
When they were closed
and I loved you with all my heart…
you called me thunder thighs.
Now your best friend can get enough of what’s inside these thighs.
Oh, you want to know why I’m fucking him? Sure…I’ll tell you…
it’s because he’s the next best thing to you.
He’s your best friend! That means you’re both alike, you talk alike and you even fuck alike.
But his dick is better.
And now, 2 months later…
now…
NOW…
you’re starting to pay me more attention.
You said that my hair color brings out my eyes more.
You said my ass looks great in these jeans.
You even showed up at my Summa Cum Laude celebration party.
Sent flowers to my job, sending me emails of wedding locations.
They all went ignored.
Please return to sender. With a little pink post-it note on them.
And it stated “I moved on to next. And he’s right beside you.”
When I was a classy little princess, I went unheard.
But now that I’m a tasteless whore, I’m irresistable.
You’re calling me worse names now. Even threatened his life.
It took me having an affair with your best friend
for you to realize how much you love me
but it’s too late now
my stomach’s starting to grow.
And I have no clue who the father is.
My my my, how my phone is ringing off the hook now…

“the best friend” written by chanel.

As you can see, there will always be consequences just when you think a person is gaining. The woman in that poem didn’t conquer. She failed miserably. She failed her morals, self-respect and her life by having sex with her ex-boyfriend’s best friend and bringing in a baby for all the wrong reasons. She was successful in so many ways but not with her relationships. No matter how you dress it up, it’s always wrong to get involved with someone one of your close friends, or family member, used to date. If any of my friends introduce me to a man that they say they have a “crush” on, I would never make any moves on him. Or allow him to do the same to me. It’s trifling and dirty. I am immediately turned off by him because I know how my friend feels about him. I will acknowledge the fact that he’s good looking, as approval, but that’s it. Personally, I don’t think it’s appropriate. So what if he made a pass at you? So what if she always bats her eyes at you and cries on your shoulder. So what if you were drunk. They are off limits. I feel people do things like this to achieve jealousy as a reaction. But little do you know, the friend you’re stabbing in the back will never trust you again. The ex usually ends up feeling betrayed and see you in a different light. Is your reputation worth all that? It’s bad enough you got your ex running around telling people about your relationship. So now he/she can add “slut” to that equation. Would you want your ex best-friend telling everyone “That bitch tried to fuck my man”?

I’ve experienced a friend (more than once) making inappropriate comments about a man I was interested in or went on a date with before. I’ll laughed it off but in the back of my mind, I got my eye on them. If I see a pattern, that’s when I will pull her to the side and tell her how I feel. I think most of us have experienced that. Where your friend’s intentions with someone you have interest in is questionable. I’m not sure what causes these things to happen. I can easily blame it on insecurity or their lack of class and self-respect. One thing I do know for sure is that may be a sign towards the beginning of a doomed friendship.

The only thing I can advise is to take heed and keep your eyes open. If the unthinkable actually do happen, you have all right to let that friend go.

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quenching your thirst.

On September 4, 2008   /   drama elimination, general, reality   /   17 Comments
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Is it just me or is it that the people who gripe and complain about “being left alone” are the main ones who actually create the drama they’re currently in? Coming from someone with experience, the best way to handle it is to simply ignore the person. Don’t reply to their bullshit, don’t explain yourself, don’t try to validate your points, don’t try to prove anyone wrong. Just refrain from entertaining it and walk away. As cliche as it sounds, you have to ignore ignorance. All that energy you’re placing into acknowledging them is actually just fueling the fire even more. Personally, I wouldn’t want to keep looking at someone or try to be in their presence a lot if I don’t like them. If I don’t like you or how you look, I’m not going to visit your website all the time just to talk shit about you to others. What’s the point? What are you saying about yourself? They may laugh and “a tee hee” at you, but truth is…they find you foolish & immature. Let’s not fool ourselves here though…sometimes the shit is pure comedy. Especially rumors or assumptions people make about you. But only when you handle yourself well. So what if someone stole from you. So what if someone is passing around your nudes. So what if someone said you’re fat. So what if someone said you’re broke. So what if someone said your dick is little. Quit moaning about it over & over & over & over again and just make note of it. You have to learn how to deal with rumors and just brush them off instead of going 100% harder than the person that’s actually trying to ruin your reputation. You both look like a bunch of jackasses. All of the senseless back and forth, especially those are are part of the blog community. The relentless blogging about each other. More than likely, you’ve done something to that person for them to start fucking with you anyways. So, ever thought that maybe you deserved it?

I’ve learned to just really brush shit off if lately. Especially when someone has something untruthful to say about me. I simply keep it moving and continued doing what I do best….being me. Regardless of what I said or did, there will always be 2 outcomes = you either believe me or you don’t. So why even waste my time? Especially to frivolous insecure people who were dying to find a flaw or an error in my way, capitalize upon it, and then try to “rise” above me. Quit being so thirsty. Just goes to show that life must be really dull for them. I’m sure someone who dislikes me is reading this right now. Hi.

I’m not going to lie, it’s a bit disheartening if it’s someone that you used to be friends with. Or when you’ve reached the point where you have to say “enough is enough“. I guess as you go through life, and start to mature more, you tend to start letting people go. I’ve let a lot of people go this year, which happens to be the most I’ve ever done. However, I’m still at the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Which lets me know about my inner strength. It just sucks the way things have to end. But don’t we all wish and hope that things “end” in a good way? How is that possible though? Because if it was so good, it wouldn’t have “ended”. And the only way I end things is if I was done wrong. When someone betrays me, I usually investigate why they did it in the first place. Then I insist on working on that problem. But if you’re not willing to cooperate, then I have no choice than to let you go.

It’s not my duty or responsibility to change the minds of other people. The nature of their thinking is advanced or limited by their experiences with me. Or in better terms, lack thereof. In my presence, people have the opportunity to learn about me and, perhaps, to grow & love me. Some choose to take that route, while others decide to go against me. My only responsibility is the one towards myself, my life & my child. If you don’t choose to take my hand and walk these wars with me, then you weren’t worth it in the first place. Continue to judge me. Continue to take cheap shots. Continue to talk about me behind my back. Trust me, I am not pressed. Because no matter what, you will still be you, and I will still be Chanel. I will continuously aim for the top. The best. While you continue to wonder how I got there, glaring at me from the bottom.

Put more energy into bettering yourself, rather than worrying about & analyzing someone’s next move. Because all you’re doing is pointing all of their “so-called” flaws out when you are blind to your own. Just let it go boo-boo. You’ll feel much better once you get over it. I promise.

Cheers! :blog66:

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