Insecurity | chanel.

catty.

Catty. Subtly cruel or malicious; spiteful. I swear at least 75% of the women today possess this unattractive trait. Why do women, adult established women at that, find themselves in strong competition with others? Why do they want to drown others in their bullshit of hate, jealousy and envy? They spend more time trying to convince people (especially men) how “ugly” or “stupid” an admired woman is more than trying to better themselves & produce more character & substance in their own lives. I sure you all know at least one woman that tries to find something negative in the next female. “Doesn’t she look great?” Catty Bitch #459 – “Yeah but she got a weave. Must be bald”. They always start with the “yeah but…”. Makes you just want to hock & spit across their forehead. This has such a great impact on me because it has happened to me before. For years by the same people. The flipside of it all is, I am 100% comfortable with giving another woman her props and leave it as that. So one would think the reason why it’s happening to you is because you have done it before correct? Please. Bitches will be bitches and if they’re an insecure jealous bitch, and you’re an attractive successful popular woman, they will be your problem for a long time. Yes I know we all are not perfect, but that doesn’t make it okay to capitalize someone’s “flaw”. The reason why I placed the word flaw in quotations is because characteristics that we may find as flaws, the next person will adore it and embrace it as something unique. So again I ask, why concentrate and spend so much of your time to convince that person otherwise? Is your self-esteem that low where you just have to focus that negativity on someone who’s getting what you’ve yearned for so long?

Men, you are not exempt. You guys are worse now as well! Gossiping, sitting around talking shit about women all day long, trying to find a way to get back at their ex. What ever happened to playing basketball, video games, chillin at the bar, then going home to spend time with a nice woman? Instead, these grown ass men prefer to sit on Facebook or Twitter all day long & tweet about how much they hate “bitches”. They prefer to go to the club and “pop bottles” (that cost about $150) with their male friends, yet, refuse to buy a young lady a $10 drink. “I’m not paying for none of these hos” but you’re paying for your boys every weekend? Yeah…that’s real hetero of you.

This day and age, as women, where it’s so hard to earn respect from or fellow men, we don’t also need the burden of the same sex following their lead. It’s bad enough that we are viewed and treated as objects or even worse, underestimated and ridiculed career wise. It is not my duty or responsibility to change the minds of other people. But it is my duty to ignore them and continue striving to be myself. Which succumbs them to become this catty person and be ignorant instead of brushing their teeth or something. They know, in our presence, others have an opportunity to learn about us and perhaps grow to love us. And they can’t stand that. What can be done to end this cycle? Nothing. Not a damn thing. Which is why ignoring ignorance is the best answer. No matter what you do or say, they will always find something to say about you. They’re just that damn miserable.

you’re the shit.

A positive, healthy sense of self-value and worth is the foundation of our happiness and success. When we know who we are and believe in what we represent, our greatest dreams are forever possible. When we doubt ourselves, question our worth and undermine our self value, those dreams and the victory of succeeding becomes worthless. Regardless the level of your esteem and security, always remember that you’re unique and you have a gift to offer. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If they do, they are just jealous. Jealous because they wish they had what you have. More than likely, these same people will speak negative against you, when they don’t even know you. Especially if they never gotten the chance to know you and know what you’re about. Characteristics that they find as flaws, the next person will adore it. They will follow, monitor and even stalk you just so their miserable ass can nitpick for something out of the ordinary. Let them continue. It means nothing to you and neither do they. You have an unique quality within yourself that they are lacking and instead of acknowledging that quality and giving credit when it’s due, they try their best to convince themselves (and possibly others) that you are fake and commence to try bring you down. Keyword: try. I, for one, refuse to allow that to happen to me because I wake up everyday just knowing that I am the shit. No, I’m not conceited. No, I don’t think I’m better than you. No, I don’t think I’m prettier than you. Yes I am well aware of my flaws & imperfections. I am able to recognize that I have something valuable to give the world.

No matter how many people wish I didn’t have so many talents that make me the person that I am today, they will never dim my light that shines from within.

If you’re insecure or have low self-esteem, keep rehearsing that in your mind. Like I’ve stated before, what you may find “wrong” within yourself, there’s someone out there that will embrace that and love you for you. Never allow anyone or anything to limit your mind because of your race, color, gender expression, style of fashion, work experience, non-existent college degrees or body type. Take no shorts, cut down on the compromising and never settle for less. Believe in who we are and what we do. Look up to and trust ourselves to make it through the difficulties just knowing that we can. Only we can truly appreciate and celebrate our own success. Don’t do it for him, don’t do it for her. Don’t try to prove them wrong. Don’t worry about their negative opinion (unless it’s asked for). We’re all are equipped and capable of getting to where we want to be as long as we create a positive pattern of self-worth.

Continue to believe you’re the best because you are the best. And no one, I mean no one…. can tell you otherwise.

imperfections.

I promise I haven’t abandoned this blog. When time allows, I’ll post something soon. My birthday coming up soon (Feb 10th) and I need to figure out what ignorant shit I can get into this year. In the meantime, here’s an old poem I wrote a couple years ago.

imperfections.

9:42am…
her bags under her eyes, squints, as she opens them.
he’s already looking at her, analyzing.
he notices the hint of brown sugar in her pupils…
the glow in her skin, which ricochets off of her natural oils.
he wipes her left brow with his fingertips, admiring the unknown scar…
she yawns.
he reaches over and lays his head on her stomach.
he finds comfort within her warm pouch.
listening to her soul during the rise and fall of her breathing.
he sighs.
she exhales.
as he looks up, he begins to caress her body
noticing the fade in the tattoo on her chest
touches it gently, reading the name.
he kisses it, followed by a glance, making eye contact.
she smiles.
parting her lips to explain the tattoo, he presses his finger against it.
mmm. she can taste his desire.
he pulls her on top of him…
positioning her body to where they are at eye level
her lips meet his. he devours her, as he tastes her morning essence.
his hands lingers towards past her back & she slightly shivers….
he pulls he face back, gently licking her upper lip.
she digresses.
as they rise, he steps a few feet away from her
she hurries to follow behind his shadow.
he turns around, alarmed at her sudden movements
she looks at him, with fear in her eyes, like an innocent child…
and then realizes.
he then grabs her hands, that were previously covering her body…
and bring them down.
he speaks…
“I capitalize your imperfections because they make you perfectly unique.”
and with that, he walks away. leaving her standing there…
flawed.
alone.
naked.
confident.
she loves….

catty.

you’re the shit.

imperfections.

Hello.

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