I have a friend who has the worse self-esteem I’ve ever encountered. Let’s just call her “Stacy”. We met actually through me dating her brother back in high school and she became part of our little “clique”. Since then, I’ve noticed her struggles with her image (she was slightly overweight), fitting in and being accepted. Often times, she’ll use her brother’s popularity to gain her own popularity. Then there were other times where she will act like a baby. Always want other people to do things for her and pamper her. I figured this was just a faze that eventually she’ll grow out of. Boy was I wrong.

“Stacy” and I lost contact with each other as the years went by, until she moved down here around the same time I did. We still didn’t contact each other until she was in need of assistance. So right there I felt like the only reason she called on me for help is because she had no one else to turn to. Not like she actually cared about me and how I’ve been doing. Nevertheless, I helped her out in any way that I can. She still used her brother’s name for fame & seemed even worse with her baby-like ways. During the time I helped her, she vented about how she has no friends, that she’s bored down here, she doesn’t know where to go to hang out, she can never find dates and blah blah blahhh. So, being that we have history & the outgoing person that I am, whenever I went out mingling, I invited her. Keyword = invited.

Trust me, I’m going somewhere with this….

Every time I invite “Stacy” out, she makes up this excuse as to why she can’t go. Since December, we have been out together a total 4 times. Yes, 4 times. The other 96 times I heard the outrageous excuses. Some of the invites and excuses are as follows:

1) I won tickets to a comedy show with a reserved table. An hour before it was time for me to pick her up, she said she dropped her car keys down the elevator chute. I reminded her that I was driving and she said her house keys were also attached to the car keys. Needless to say, I ended up staying up because it was too short notice to find someone else to go on a work night.
2) I signed us up for this adult gaming event where you can play games like Spades, Hungry Hungry Hippo, Monopoly and etc. with other people in a bar/lounge setting. It’s $10 for each person. The evening of the event, she suddenly had to babysit her niece. So I was assed out $20.
3) We had plans to go to a lounge on a Thursday night where I usually meet nice men at. She agreed to go with me on Monday & talked about it everyday that week. By time Thursday hits, she mysteriously “forgot” and took an enema that afternoon. :straight:

Honestly, I understand things may and can happen. But “Stacy’s” sad ass ain’t fooling me. The first couple of times she flaked out on me I was completely done with her and went a month not speaking to her. Then I felt bad and invited her back out. That time she came. Good. But then I noticed something that night. She’s always sulking or looking droopy whenever we hang out. Almost like she’s depressed. After that night when I asked her what was wrong with her, she then revealed to me that she’s uncomfortable going out because she feels fat, unattractive, and invisible. Especially next to me. What?!?! I kindly reminded her that regardless of what others think of you, or me, YOU have to think beautiful of yourself. Then she goes to say that all the men approach me and they don’t pay her no mind every time we go out and yadda yadda yadda. Are you kidding me? I gave her a little 2 hour prep talk and thought that I boosted her esteem enough to come back out with me. That turned out to be the night she took an “enema” and also the last time I spoke to her.

See, the moral of this story is, no matter how you look, you will be treated how you project yourself. I have seen the UGLIEST women get attention out in public. You want to know why? Because they exude confidence & strength. Regardless what they look like. They smile, laugh, give exceptional conversation and great body language. If you’re all slumped over with a scowl on your face, do you really think men will approach you? They’re going to see you for what you are representing. A miserable depressed being. How can you expect to have a fun, joyous life with people if you’re not out there trying to meet new people and enjoying yourself? Sitting at home all night sulking while your television watches you is not the answer. There have been times where I had no one to come out with me. And guess what? I took my little tail right out to those events, BY MYSELF, and sipped on my Hennessy (courtesy of man 1, 2 and 3) with my pinky finger in the air and was straight OWNING the place. You always need the one pinky finger in the air with an eyebrow raised. Fierceness in motion.

I haven’t spoke to “Stacy” since then because I got tired of her flaky ways. Plus she knows I have a child so she didn’t think once of being considerate towards that fact as well. Wasting my time & money. Need I remind you I was the one that always drove her out of courtesy because her money wasn’t always right. Friends don’t do that to each other. And I’m not guilty for letting her go. Weight off my back and fear off my shoulder having to worry if she’s going to flake out or not.