Invent


peace of mind.

I’m starting to feel a lot better lately. The past couple of months I haven’t been on the positive side of the fence. Just had to get over a couple of bumps in the road that’s all. I was so worried about the negative events that occurred within the past few months, I pushed everything else in the back burner. Forgetting about all of the great positive things I’ve achieved along the way. I mean, why spend so much time dwelling on something you won’t ever be able to change? It’s out of our reach. That’s the thing about the past. It’s supposed to remain there. Untouched. Sometimes I have to fall back and really catch myself before I start to complain. When you complain, all you’re doing is not taken notice and being grateful for what we do have. We’re giving too much to dwell on what we lack. I believe once we appreciate the greatness we have, just by having life and being one of the people that He choose to wake up that morning, we will be granted more blessings. I have so much to be thankful for. I have my wonderful daughter, a home to come to that I can call mine, a great career, a nice car, good grades and I have good health.

Many people take life for granted. Some look at it as if it’s a gift and others look at it as “too much work” or turmoil. We kiss our teeth and roll our eyes over the thought of fighting for our happiness. But when something goes wrong in our life we tend to give up on it. Or even worse, holding someone else responsible when life doesn’t give us what we want. Moving day to day, with no plan, no goals and ultimately no rewards. Life is way too short to waste it on negativity. We only get one life so live it up the best way you can. You got people that haven’t done shit with their life but complain about it. Running around whining about how their life is the worse but do nothing to improve it. Laying around mumbling about frivolous shit like it’s the end of the world. They went unnoticed, haven’t done anything for themselves and probably just as, if not more, miserable and confused as you are. But the difference between you and them is that you’re making a change with your life. Here we are, not even old yet, and already giving up on the blueprint to our serenity.

Don’t be afraid to take a chance. Life is all about risks and learning from your experiences. If you’ve done things that didn’t work, do something else. Failed your classes when your major was Forensics Science?…chose a different major and try again. Got dumped by a girl for the 5th time?…find another one that’s better then the last. If you do absolutely nothing for yourself or for your life how do you expect to have a good one? The only way you’ll receive a reward for what you do is if you worked hard for it. A closed mouth don’t get fed. When you think negatively, you attract negativity. When you confront your life with negative thoughts, you’ll have experiences to confirm what you’re thinking. What you believe people and the world are doing to you is actually a reflection of what your thoughts are drawing to you. Positive thoughts, aspects and goals brings happiness throughout the darkness in your life. The better you are at nurturing, supporting and believing in yourself, the better life gets.

If you continue to keep purpose in your mind and have faith in happiness, you will find it. You know what makes you happy and will keep you there in the long run, so go for it. It’ll give you a peace of mind. So many people go through life believing they’re being cheated or the world owes them something. No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself because you choose & accepted what you receive. We create whatever we want in our lives. All you need is proper guidance and a perception to get there. You ever sit alone in your room and found yourself engulfed in your own thoughts, unplanned? I find myself doing that almost every night before going to bed. Some may call it “getting old” but I call it finding my true inner peace.

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would i commit to myself?

If you have a desire to settle down & be in a commitment, you have to ask yourself: Would I commit to myself? Am I doing my best to receive the best? Am I giving my all to receive his all? Did I achieve being the best I can be for myself before expecting the same from her? If not, why are we pawning ourselves off on someone else. We need to take time to do some homework on self-love, self esteem and self-confidence. On ourselves. When we can pass the test of self-acceptance, the perfect someone who will compliment all that we already are will walk right through the door. The love and harmony within yourself reaches out and draws your mate.

Remember how you felt during the first encounters of someone you love? Didn’t you deny your own feelings? You smile when you see them and you close your eyes when you think about their voice. Every conversation feels like the first one. You’re completely fascinated by the way they make you feel. The thought of their kiss raises goose bumps as you lick your lips. You talk on the phone everyday. You want to see each other everyday. You want to be held everyday. You miss their caress. You miss their warmth. You miss their body. But sex hasn’t even been introduced yet. Everything moved so fast and out of nowhere you have feelings for this individual. You feel supported and they heighten your energy at the thought of seeing each other again. You’re not in love and you’re not infatuated. But you are feeling something. Yet you can’t pinpoint it. In just a matter of days you already know what they’re about to say next & an extensive amount of care appeared out of nowhere. Is there a title for this feeling? Or are you in denial of something else?

We, as people, were brought up to feel almost as if we need other people to feel secure and people we can depend on. Kind of sucks…in my opinion. There is something about being with someone who just makes your heart jump when you see them; someone who you can chill with and sex not always be an option; someone who you can argue with you, but still know that in the end, you will still have their voice to hear. There are a lot more things…like how some of the best moments with the person can be some of the most silent. Words don’t have to be said to feel like you are at ease with the person.

Eliminating bad choices: The art of mind-vs-heart is such an incredible power that it literally expands whatever it touches. When we’re faced with a challenge, obstacle or problem, our tendency is to nurture it. Our thinking process harbors the situation while our hearts…simply tells us different. We talk about it, but we don’t come to a solution. We describe it vividly, but are unable to recognize it when it’s in our face. We monitor its progress day by day, imagining how much it’s growing & how it’s effects are devastating every aspect of our lives. Yet we still allow it to. You know what we’re doing? We’re giving it more value than it’s worth. We’re settling due to our selfishness. Where do we find that strength to stop it before we hurt ourselves? As I type this, it dawns on me. It all makes perfect sense. I’m being tested by God. The highest of all high is testing me to see if I can truly make the right long-term decisions instead of just living for today. I simple adore being embraced, appreciated & loved for the woman I am. But what do you do when it’s all coming from the right person at the wrong time? I’ve grown to notice that the most beautiful things happens at the most inconvenient times in our lives. It gets to the point where you have to pick, choose and then eliminate one of those beautiful things. We can think, speak and bring the best possible outcome into existence by focusing on where we’re going, not on where we think we are. Think about it…how far can you go living for today instead of catering to your future happiness? Best things happens to those who wait huh? But what if you’re tired of waiting? What if, you end up having faith into the number one thing you don’t believe in? They say everything happens for a reason right? Well maybe this time, I think I’m going to go against the grain and just see what exactly is the reason why this is happening to me. I personally believe I was hand picked to endure questionable events. I always tell folks you’re strong, positive & faithful attitude will only bring you good. Nothing more, nothing less. When you entertain & focus on the problem, the problem will only get bigger. Funny how you end up doing the exact opposite of what you preach. Ah well, that’s life I guess huh?

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he’s into me dammit.

I’m sure you all heard of the bullshit book-turned-into-movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” and I’m surprised how successful this phenomenon has become. Only because, a lot of the telltale signs that’s he’s not into you, is right in front of your face. We don’t need a book to confirm this. But there’s something deep down inside that’s called denial that will not allow you to just see that. Or even acknowledge it and move on. So what we do ladies? We hang on, and wait it out. Thinking that maybe after about 3 months or so, he’ll start acting right. Maybe if I wait before I give him “some”, he’ll start treating me to nicer things more. But it’s been 6 months and he still dates other women (but he tells you he only has sex with you). Still haven’t took you out on a date. Still haven’t met his friends. Didn’t give you a birthday present because he’s not into “birthdays” and/or you’re not his girlfriend. How much more of this will you take before you realize that he’s just using you as a pastime until he finds his REAL love? I mean shit, that’s what I used to do. Date miscellaneous men until I found Mr. Right. But I didn’t lead anyone one, or make them feel less than their worth. I didn’t make it seem like I wasn’t dating anyone else nor did I make any commitment promises. This allows the other man to make the decision. I don’t make the decision for him.

Which is exactly what you are allowing these men do. Make decisions for you by not putting your foot down. If you are looking for a blue shirt, would you allow the sales associate to sell you a pink one? You speak your mind and you tell her exactly what you want. And if they don’t have it, you move on to the next store. That’s what we as women need to do with the men that does not meet our needs.  If you have to sit there and ask your sister, your co-worker, one of your guy friends on yahoo messenger, the cashier at McDonalds all these elaborate questions and tell them these scenarios just to see if he’s digging you, most likely he’s not. When a man’s into you,

you have to ask no questions about it. You’ll know it. You’ll feel it. You’ll see it. To be honest with you, there are no exquisite hidden ways to know if he’s into you. It all depends on his personality. If he’s a homebody but always wants to take you out to show you a good time, maybe he’s into you. If he’s not into being on the phone for more than 5 minutes, yet, you guys talk almost every night for over an hour, maybe he’s into you. The only way you will know for sure is just by asking him. If his answer isn’t so up to par to your standards, then you already know what to do next.

There are so many great mysteries about men that I have yet to solve & I’m quite sure there are men that are thinking the same thing about us women. I hate to sound cliche but, most men need to stop thinking with their dicks and more with their minds. Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know it’s been said over & over again but that statement is staying true in it’s form as of today. We get treated as objects most of the time; sitting there using games to get what they want. Or, they will throw all game out the window and straight up tell you that’s all they want. No thanks. I think I will take a rain check at a shot of AIDS. Then once they get what they want, just like that….they disappear like the wind. And you’ll never see it coming. It’s that damn manipulating. I have yet to understand what men really get out of that. I guess they feel like they’ve conquered something & their ego’s get a shitty boost? Would you want someone to do that to your mother or daughter? Do you feel more of a man after you blatantly disrespect a woman that you supposedly care about? If that’s how you show your “care” then I’m not sticking around to see what love’s like…

And that’s the kind of courage we all need to have within ourselves. Knowing when to say “I’ve had enough” or “What’s the status between you and I” and accept a straight up answer. Without that, you have nothing. You’ll always be wondering. You’ll always be asking Pam from up the street her opinion, instead of going straight to the source. If the asshole still cannot give you an answer, then leave him alone. Why play guessing games with your feelings? Don’t wait 5 years for an engagement ring. Don’t wait 10 years and 3 children later to get married. Don’t you realize you’re placing your life on hold for someone else to confirm that you are their everything?

So, after reading this book and discussing it with a female one night, then a male another night, then another male, then another male, then another male, then another male, I’ve come to see that it’s just for entertainment purposes. The percentage of the truth that this book does tell, are complete common sense. Ladies, please do not use this book as a BIBLE towards dating. All of the men I spoke to about this book, who all happened to be different in many ways, do not agree with anything the book says. There are times where a man is really too busy to go on a second date. There are times where a man has feelings for you, but is scared to express them. There are times where a man is scared to fall in love again. By all means, work it out. But not for no damn 6+ months for crying out loud!

Oh, one more thing. If a man tells you “I don’t like to approach women” or he kisses your hand before even knowing your name, that means he’s a stuck-up womanizing trick. Don’t fall into the trap!!!!

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