Invent


for the record.

If I didn’t make it clear before, then I’m going to make it clear now. I have no tolerance for people who want to half ass their way into my life. Nor my heart. It’s very disheartening when you give someone the chance of a lifetime, then they go screw it all up with one word. One action. Or even no action at all. You can’t sit there and tell me that you’ve “changed” when your actions and intentions are a mirror reflection of how you were when I first met you.

I once was confused beyond natural belief and I had no clue what to do about a particular person in my life and our situation. The anger I had built up scared me. That anger became buried in my own emotional battles and I forgot about it. Years later, I rationalized I became forgiving. But just when you thought it was safe, I was disappointed again. Now, I can feel the frustration, anger and resentment that I had for that individual trying to reappear once again. However, my lack of interest in their actions started disappearing. It’s amazing how relieved you feel when you start to care much less than before. The one thing that keeps me faithful is the fact that karma is a bitch. Not for nothing, I wish things can be different and I have put all of my pride aside to make things better. But if you’re unable to meet me in the middle, nor even showing me that you are even giving a fuck, I wash my hands off of you faster than I switch my weaves. I forgave you. Over and over again. I let you back in. I had faith in you. I prayed for you. Now I gave up on you and have released you from my heart. The best thing is, I don’t even need you. You thought I did. You thought we did. Nevertheless, you thought wrong.

I’m tired of people claiming they can’t change. How many times have you heard someone say, “That’s just the way I am”, or “I can’t change”. How about, “This is me, take it or leave it.” Oh, how we fight soooo hard to hold on to what limits us. Don’t we realize, if our way worked, it would be working? Can’t we see that holding on to what “I am” keeps us from realizing who we really are? It is natural to resist change. Shit, I’ve resisted it plenty of times. But it is insane to fight against it. For some reason we believe if we have to change, there must be something wrong with the way we are. The issue is not right or wrong. The issue is working or not working. Everything must change. The best can always get better. When we make minor adjustments as we see they are needed, we save time and the expense of a major overhaul.

I’m an avid believer in karma. That’s why I close my eyes at the thought of revenge. I walk away from drama and potential issues because frankly, I don’t have the energy nor the time to entertain it. If something or someone is creating an uncomfortable environment in your life, guess what?…you can stop it. The life you have belongs to you only. So don’t depend on the next individual to make that change for you. To make things better for you. To help you. To nurture you. To provide for you. To love you. You must first do these for yourself from within. Muster the courage and the strength to stop it all. Pause for a minute and listen to what you are telling yourself. Heal from the lies you’ve told yourself and the ones that have been told to you. You can make it on your own. You can find peace and happiness out of being alone. You can make a million dollars by investing one penny into something you truly love & have passion for. With all these great things you can do for yourself on our own, why would you allow stress to bring you down? Everyone gets stressed out. Some cases it’s worse than yours. While you sit there and worry about how you’re going to pay the rent this month, there is someone else just like you who is wondering how are they going to survive living in the streets this summer. Be grateful for what you have, what you have earned & for survivng through it all to still be alive today to speak upon it. While you think your current life may not be luxurious, serene & admirable, someone else is out there just wishing they could change places with you.

I’ll be damned if I allow a parasite lower my property value.

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fyi on my “nappy girl” post.

I may be ignorant to this topic, but don’t come on here trying to cast stones on me without informing me or educating me. If you disagree with me, deliver facts. Not judgment or slander. If you want to check me on some shit, school me about it first. This “nappy girl” blog post wasn’t to demean or degrade any woman. It’s merely my opinion. Just like you have yours. If you read other entries of mine you will see that 80% of my blog entries are about empowering woman, loving ourselves and finding happiness in relationships.

I apologize if I offended anyone, but I also feel disrespected by those that feel they are “helping” me by bashing me for my opinions. No one didn’t even realize that the post wasn’t bashing people who choose to remain natural. I was speaking on the stereotype the media has placed on black women. Now as far as people who chooses to remain natural and “nappy”, I don’t have an issue with that nor with you. But what I do have an issue with are the blatant attacks and YOUR ignorance. I am willing to accept MY ignorance (in reference to slavery and “nappy hair”), if someone were mature enough to school me with some credible facts or history. All this extra “I hate my self” type tactics isn’t going to change my opinion.  So, if you care as much as you are acting, feel free to school me and stop with this hating.

I didn’t know perming my hair, or weaving it, constitutes as “self-loathing”. I never said “I perm my hair because I’m ashamed of my naps.” I don’t even have naps without a relaxer. Not all black people are born with nappy hair. If I wear lipstick, does that mean I hate myself and the natural color of my lips? If I put on mascara, does that mean am I unhappy with myself and unhappy with the lashes that God has bestowed upon me? Everyone has a right to their own self-image, to present themselves & represent themselves how they want to. I don’t know why it’s such a big deal. Sometimes you need to choose your battles accordingly. And your battle is not with me. Ever tried emailing Lil Kim or Michael Jackson? Those 2 are painful examples of self-hate. Sheesh.

And to think…all of this over a blog I wrote In September 2008. Over 8 months ago. Because a few overzealous paranoid people wanted to misconstrue my words. I never said I am tired of seeing nappy headed women in commercials because I dislike nappy headed people. I said I am tired of  TELEVISION MEDIA only viewing black women as nappy headed, a stereotype that we’ve been getting for decades. Not once have I ever said that I do not like “afrocentric” “nappy” headed women. That more sounds like your OWN self-conscious coming through.

The bottom line is, if you’re still unable to accept the above, and/or is unable to handle the things I say, and rule me out as someone you “dislike”, then why you keep coming to my site? Move on with your day, your life and get over it. I am not Michael Vick and you are not PETA. So stop acting like such.

At the end of the day, you’re going to to stay “nappy”, and I’m going to stayed permed. Deal with it.

Godspeed. :blogtt:

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The content of kisschanel.com, text and personal images, are ownership of Chanel Cheeks and copyrighted by me unless stated otherwise. No reproduction of any of the content shall be used without prior written consent. If you want to quote me or repost one of my blogs, please send an email requesting permission to do so first. The proper credit link must state the following: Originally written by Chanel @ kisschanel.com. Stealing blog posts is frowned upon and will result in people laughing at you for at least 5 years. This website is not recommended for inmates, ingrates or anyone professing an irrational fear of cats or for people over the age of 120. The content on this blog is the opinion of myself, not intended to “malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual,” especially those that are very bored with nothing else to do that will try to fight back anything that I have to say. My intention is to not injure others, just in case someone believes I made their genitals bleed by blogging about love & relationships. Full disclosure.

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