Look what Mariah Carey is going through currently with Eminem. All because she did not want to acknowledge their “fling”. He talks shit about her in most of his songs. Years later, she finally decides to respond with her song & video “Obsessed”. What he does next? He responds with a song threatening to release voicemails, nudes pictures & incriminating evidence that they were together. So the fuck what Eminem? Move on. He is the epitome of what I’m talking about. A bitter man who does not know how to get over it and move on. Funny thing is, Rick Ross has called him out many times but he never responded. However, he chooses to pick a fight with female? That’s real manly you dude. We will never question your sexuality Eminem. Oh, and let’s not forget how so many people were actually cheering Chris Brown for what he did to Rihanna. Do you know how many people were attacking Rihanna? Granted Chris Brown received much deserved flack for what he’s done, but Rihanna received just as much herself. “Good for her, I didn’t like her anyways.” What?! Why is that? Why no one wants to back up a woman anymore?

These things are very uncalled for. Not only are you embarrassing yourself as a man, you look like bitter scorned bitch. No one wants to hear your stories about why things didn’t work out between you and ______. So what if she wasn’t what you expected her to be? Who cares if she broke your heart? Does that warrants you to drag her name through the dirt? Do you really believe, in that pitiful insecure mind of yours, that saying all those things make you the better person? What ever happened to cherishing, loving, nurturing & respecting your woman? I understand that rejection can be painful. I understand that there are days where you’re not in a good mood. But that doesn’t make it right. If we, as women, count on a man to protect us, yet that same man disrespects us, who are we to turn to after that? It’s bad enough that we, women, tear each other down on a daily basis. Being in the vicinity of a man takes away the grief that we go through.

I don’t want to bring the media up in my argument…but I have to. I’m seeing women getting exploited more & more on television and I don’t think there will ever be a turn around point. I would not be surprised if one day I turn to a sitcom and they’re showing nipples & bare ass on there. But on the flip side, you barely see men half naked or being depicted as sexual objects. The larger viewing audience are women. Yet, you have half-naked moaning women plastered all over television. Who are they appeasing? Certianly not me…

(Speaking of the media…) Have you ever noticed the way the media advertise depression amongst women? As if we are the only ones that are able to get depressed? Why are they stereotyping women with depression? If women suffer depression because of the “social denigration” they endure, why is it that men also suffer major depression, and commit suicide in numbers far greater than women? Sad that rather than focusing on real underlying causes of depression/anxiety (loss of community, affluenza, promotion of superficial looks) we get ads for a quick fix pill instead. No profit in truly emotionally healthy people I guess huh? As far as I’m concerned, women are targeted to take anti-depressants & the social denigration they face is rarely discussed as a reason for her sadness. I strongly believe the problem is the way society and the media portrays us. As if we’re a bunch of overly emotional creatures. We have the same emotions as men. The only difference is, we express it outwardly much more & with more confidence than men. As I look through Sports Illustrated or a Maxim magazine I have yet to see a prescription drug ad in there dealing with depression. Or weight problems. Or anxiety attacks. Instead of describing depressive illnesses in terms of specific symptoms & medical terms, as they did when the era of Prozac began in the late 1980s, the printed news media are now far more likely to depict women’s mental issues in relation to gender-stereotyped roles, like marriage, motherhood, & menopause. And just like I stated before, descriptions of depression in men have not shifted in the same way. The media, the pharmaceutical industry, the strategically placed ads and commercials. Its all aimed to play on the “weakness” of women. We got to the doctor far more and often end up only handed a pill to fix it rather than given an opportunity to be heard to communicate that there really is an illness at work here.

I don’t know if there’s something in the water, or what. All I do know is, something’s gotta give.

Edit: You can find me at http://diaryofchanel.com if you want some short-text daily rants, ramblings & farts.

“the best friend” written by chanel.

As you can see, there will always be consequences just when you think a person is gaining. The woman in that poem didn’t conquer. She failed miserably. She failed her morals, self-respect and her life by having sex with her ex-boyfriend’s best friend and bringing in a baby for all the wrong reasons. She was successful in so many ways but not with her relationships. No matter how you dress it up, it’s always wrong to get involved with someone one of your close friends, or family member, used to date. If any of my friends introduce me to a man that they say they have a “crush” on, I would never make any moves on him. Or allow him to do the same to me. It’s trifling and dirty. I am immediately turned off by him because I know how my friend feels about him. I will acknowledge the fact that he’s good looking, as approval, but that’s it. Personally, I don’t think it’s appropriate. So what if he made a pass at you? So what if she always bats her eyes at you and cries on your shoulder. So what if you were drunk. They are off limits. I feel people do things like this to achieve jealousy as a reaction. But little do you know, the friend you’re stabbing in the back will never trust you again. The ex usually ends up feeling betrayed and see you in a different light. Is your reputation worth all that? It’s bad enough you got your ex running around telling people about your relationship. So now he/she can add “slut” to that equation. Would you want your ex best-friend telling everyone “That bitch tried to fuck my man”?

I’ve experienced a friend (more than once) making inappropriate comments about a man I was interested in or went on a date with before. I’ll laughed it off but in the back of my mind, I got my eye on them. If I see a pattern, that’s when I will pull her to the side and tell her how I feel. I think most of us have experienced that. Where your friend’s intentions with someone you have interest in is questionable. I’m not sure what causes these things to happen. I can easily blame it on insecurity or their lack of class and self-respect. One thing I do know for sure is that may be a sign towards the beginning of a doomed friendship.

The only thing I can advise is to take heed and keep your eyes open. If the unthinkable actually do happen, you have all right to let that friend go.