THREE TYPES OF WOMEN THAT MEN SHOULD AVOID

When it comes to relationships, women will spend a lifetime avoiding men until she finds Mr. Right. On the other hand, men will find Mrs. Right after spending a lifetime dating and sleeping with as many women as they can. In the process of finding the right one, people get involved in relationships that they had no business being part of in the first place. In a man’s case, they often get in those relationships because they are thinking with their eyes and penises. There are three types of women that men should avoid despite the apparent attraction.

The Never Single Girl
Here’s a girl who seems normal. She’s pretty, smart, has a great sense of humor and has all the intangibles that guys like. All her life she’s had a boyfriend. She barely knows what it’s like to be single. She just recently broke up with her boyfriend and now has her eyes set on you. It seems like an opportunity you don’t want to turn down. Turn it down my friend. This girl is needy. She needs the comfort of having a man. She’s an emotional train wreck waiting to happen and a “cling-on”. You have to call her all day & spend every single bit of free time with her. The wallpaper on her phone, the wallpaper on her laptop, her Twitter avatar & Facebook profile picture is of you two. It’s cute but that’s only after two weeks. It’s more than likely that she is insecure which can lead to jealousy. If a girl’s number pops up on your phone, you receive an “I miss you” tweet, smile at another woman or lord forbid hug someone too long, all hell will break loose. She can easily go from yielding a knife and wanting to kill you to crying in your arms. Then there’s the competition in her head. Because she gets into relationships so frequently, she will compare you to her last. Instead of you developing in this relationship at your pace, she may be expecting you to develop at his pace and you might not even know it. This girl may have the characteristics you like but don’t rush into it. Actually, don’t let her rush into it.

The Drunken Hot Girl
You can’t keep your eyes off of her. Her hair is long, her dress is short, her lips are glossy and she has the attention of every guy in the room. At the club, she dances on top of couches with a glass of champagne in her hand sometimes pulling her dress down. She has modeling pics but never really models. Her list of boyfriends look like the nominees for the Espy’s and MTV Music Awards. Somehow, you have her attention and she likes you. Run! If you’re famous or a “baller”, understand that she is into you for your fame and money. Nothing else. She wants to enjoy the perks of dating someone as famous as you are. Trips to award shows, great seats at the ball game, pictures of you two on blog sites, etc. She’ll never help you invest your money but will definitely show you how to blow $20,000 at Louis Vuitton. If you happen to be the average guy who gets with her, you are in for the ride of your life. Most likely, this girl doesn’t work and so she is dependent on you. She’s going to have a taste for the finer things. Birkin bags, Louboutin shoes & Mandalay dresses. You better believe that if she wants Italian, it’s going to be Scarpetta and not Olive Garden. Then there’s the joint bank account, which eventually, will turn one bum into two bums. Her lifestyle is rich in glitz & glamour. Is yours?

Ms. Super Independent
She is the perfect woman. She has it all together. She’s beautiful. She can cook and clean. She has her own house and car. She is smart. Graduated with her bachelor’s in 2 1/2 years and was able to garner 2 Master’s degrees. She’s now working on her PhD. She currently holds an executive position at her job. This is the woman you should be with, if you’re as or more successful than she is. If you’re not, don’t date her until you are. Why? Successful women are strong characters. They’ve worked all their life to be independent so that they don’t need you. Everything she does and everything she works for has to be top notch, including her man. If she happens to follow her emotional inclination and dates you because she likes your personality, problems may arise later. She’s going to feel the need to carry the relationship, making you feel less like a man. She’s going to do things for herself that you won’t be able to, once again, striking a blow to your ego. More than likely, powerful men who share similar drive, ambition, and success surround a woman of her stature. You might not measure up. Eventually, you might get looked down upon. If her friends are as successful, they may convince her to ditch you for a “better” man. For the most part, this is the woman you want but you should definitely get your life together before pursuing her.

Everyone has someone that fits his or her wants and needs. It’s about self evaluating and determining who you are, what you have and then figuring out what you want and need. Relationships today are beyond just romance. Couples today have to match up physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially. If you know who you are and know what you’re looking for, you will be able to choose from a select pool of people and increase your chances of finding the right person for you.

With that being said, why are you signing a prenuptial agreement? I think that’s the most ridiculous thing to ever agree to. You’re pretty much stating that you both are planning for your marriage & divorce at the same time. And in the most utmost selfish way. The word “prenup” taints marriages. If you have to think twice about marriage, there is no reason to get married. How would you feel if you helped someone build their empire, support it for 10 years and have to walk away from it all with nothing just because they don’t want you anymore? That’s why before you decide to marry someone, you need to know that you are able to commit to that person for the remainder of your life. If you feel that insecure/negative about the woman you choose to marry, then you have no business marrying her. Marriage is about supporting each other for the rest of your life. Therefore, if you end that marriage before death, you are still owed that support.

Does anyone believe in having a soul mate anymore? Or do you think the term was created for us to always have hope with love once it fails? There were a few times I thought I found my soul mate, but I ended up being mistaken. I do know, however, that I haven’t met him yet. On the flipside of rushing into things, A lot of guys seem to be in the habit of “dating” for long periods of time (1-4 years) then suddenly deciding they do not want to marry “you” or be with “you” anymore. I don’t understand why people will waste that much time in a relationship just to have a companion. Ideally, I think you should know after 2 years if you want to marry someone or not. That’s my personal standard. 2 years is good enough time to know whether or not someone is the love of your life. Especially if you’re over the age of 25. At this point, you should know who you are, what you want and the type of mate you want to be with. Indeed, it’s very hard to look into someone eyes and just know for a fact that they’re the perfect match for you. That genuinely, they are the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. That your souls are bonded together. However, it shouldn’t take 5 years to realize such.

Calling someone your soul mate is just as strong as telling them you’re in love with them. May be even stronger than love. Can you see yourself marrying that person? Sharing all of yourself with this person? Bearing their children? Accepting all of their flaws & embracing them as unique gifts without penalizing them about it? If not, then they are not your soul mate. With the divorce rate spilling over 50% in America, it’s time that we stop, look & listen to our minds & hearts before making such hasty decisions. The only person we should marry is someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with.

Which is exactly what you are allowing these men do. Make decisions for you by not putting your foot down. If you are looking for a blue shirt, would you allow the sales associate to sell you a pink one? You speak your mind and you tell her exactly what you want. And if they don’t have it, you move on to the next store. That’s what we as women need to do with the men that does not meet our needs.  If you have to sit there and ask your sister, your co-worker, one of your guy friends on yahoo messenger, the cashier at McDonalds all these elaborate questions and tell them these scenarios just to see if he’s digging you, most likely he’s not. When a man’s into you,

you have to ask no questions about it. You’ll know it. You’ll feel it. You’ll see it. To be honest with you, there are no exquisite hidden ways to know if he’s into you. It all depends on his personality. If he’s a homebody but always wants to take you out to show you a good time, maybe he’s into you. If he’s not into being on the phone for more than 5 minutes, yet, you guys talk almost every night for over an hour, maybe he’s into you. The only way you will know for sure is just by asking him. If his answer isn’t so up to par to your standards, then you already know what to do next.

There are so many great mysteries about men that I have yet to solve & I’m quite sure there are men that are thinking the same thing about us women. I hate to sound cliche but, most men need to stop thinking with their dicks and more with their minds. Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know it’s been said over & over again but that statement is staying true in it’s form as of today. We get treated as objects most of the time; sitting there using games to get what they want. Or, they will throw all game out the window and straight up tell you that’s all they want. No thanks. I think I will take a rain check at a shot of AIDS. Then once they get what they want, just like that….they disappear like the wind. And you’ll never see it coming. It’s that damn manipulating. I have yet to understand what men really get out of that. I guess they feel like they’ve conquered something & their ego’s get a shitty boost? Would you want someone to do that to your mother or daughter? Do you feel more of a man after you blatantly disrespect a woman that you supposedly care about? If that’s how you show your “care” then I’m not sticking around to see what love’s like…

And that’s the kind of courage we all need to have within ourselves. Knowing when to say “I’ve had enough” or “What’s the status between you and I” and accept a straight up answer. Without that, you have nothing. You’ll always be wondering. You’ll always be asking Pam from up the street her opinion, instead of going straight to the source. If the asshole still cannot give you an answer, then leave him alone. Why play guessing games with your feelings? Don’t wait 5 years for an engagement ring. Don’t wait 10 years and 3 children later to get married. Don’t you realize you’re placing your life on hold for someone else to confirm that you are their everything?

So, after reading this book and discussing it with a female one night, then a male another night, then another male, then another male, then another male, then another male, I’ve come to see that it’s just for entertainment purposes. The percentage of the truth that this book does tell, are complete common sense. Ladies, please do not use this book as a BIBLE towards dating. All of the men I spoke to about this book, who all happened to be different in many ways, do not agree with anything the book says. There are times where a man is really too busy to go on a second date. There are times where a man has feelings for you, but is scared to express them. There are times where a man is scared to fall in love again. By all means, work it out. But not for no damn 6+ months for crying out loud!

Oh, one more thing. If a man tells you “I don’t like to approach women” or he kisses your hand before even knowing your name, that means he’s a stuck-up womanizing trick. Don’t fall into the trap!!!!

There’s been this ongoing debate about infidelity and which one is worse: Being cheated on physically or being cheated on emotionally. I believe emotional infidelity is much worse than the physical. If you’re wondering what’s the difference I will tell you. Physical cheating is about sex, getting satisfaction from someone else touch, whether you’re kissing, hugging, being affectionate and of course…having sex. Emotional cheating is when you’re connecting to someone on an emotional level by spending time with them, having that mental attachment, and keeping in contact on a daily basis. Yes, I consider “getting to know someone better” by using an internet venue cheating as well. Those personal daily emails, text messages and instant messages with the opposite sex are inappropriate if you’re in a relationship. Meeting a person from the internet is also a major no-no. The time you possibly spent to get to know them better and then to prepare a time and date to go meet them? That’s crossing the line, even if it is just a “friend”. If that “friend” wasn’t there before the relationship, they shouldn’t be there now. Same thing goes for co-workers, church members, and the cashier at the supermarket. There’s no need to create more friends of the opposite sex. That’s the point of being in a relationship. That person is supposed to be your main source of satisfaction.

Point is, I strongly believe being cheated on emotionally is worse than physically. He had sex with her once and left her alone. It’s bad, but not as bad as him spending time with her, taking her out on dates, paying her bills and crying on her shoulder when things go bad. He’s living 2 lives and becoming more and more attached to this other woman. And all during this time, he’s not talking to you anymore, not spending time with the kids, always “working late” and haven’t had sex with you in 2 months. He’s respectfully saving himself for her. She may know about you, she may not. But more than likely, she doesn’t know about you. How can you mend a relationship after that? After knowing that your partner has started a new life with someone else? Once you find out (81% of men won’t admit to it, even after asking¹) how do you cope with it? Do you forgive him and move on or do you lay down the laws of betrayal and give him a 2nd chance?

There are times in our life where we cheat ourselves. Have you ever decided to do something different with your life, but end up defending those ideals? Then what usually happens next? You lose all of your motivation. You ever decided to not go for it at all? You were so excited about your new inner discovery and all it took was one person to knock those dreams out of existence. Isn’t it funny how impressionable we become at our most vulnerable moments? We let our guards down for 5 minutes and during those 5 minutes, we receive painful reminders of why we had our guards up in the first place. People tend to forget the main fact: We only have one life to live. It’s not like you’ll get another chance to do the things you dream of doing. So why hold yourself back due to the negative opinion of others? Let them say what they want to say. Let them believe what they want to believe. I need constructive criticism and some sort of background or history as to why someone wouldn’t support me in a decision. Ignorance is bliss. If I decide to go back to school to become a teacher because I love helping children and I have a passion in education, don’t grill me down about how teachers don’t get paid much and the economy is bad and blah blah blah. Did you NOT hear what I said? My priority is not how much I would make as a teacher but the impact I can provide towards our children & their education. When I express my goals to you, I am seeking support, not backlash. Close minded people usually act this way. But most of all, it usually comes from someone who’s envious of you. Instead of praising your accomplishments and goals, they want to shit all over your parade to make you feel as low as they do.

Don’t cheat yourself out of your dreams.

Source: ¹Men Who Cheat

How often do we stop to consider the true depth of the person we’re attracted to? Plenty of men have been attracted to me in these ways and even considered starting a commitment with me but they never gotten the chance to learn & embrace the real me. They were just going by my blueprint. Not taking enough time to figure me out and dissect the path on how I got where I am today. We all have a past, present & future and not enough people show interest in that. Which is why so many of us are “stuck” in these empty relationships. Or possibly because they’re so desperate in finding love that they will accept whatever comes their way. You can stop looking, forcing and trying to make it happen. Especially in the wrong person. Love is not a struggle. It happens naturally. When you look in their eyes, you will know that they are the one. Even before the “love” presents itself. You make sacrifices, you compromise & you place yourself at levels that you couldn’t imagine doing with anyone else. A lot of people don’t value these things anymore. They see it as a “hassle” and actually frown upon settling down, growing a relationship and actually just being exclusive to one person. I refuse to give someone all of my time if I am not getting the same in return. You know what I say to men who believe that they can have sex after the first date? I say “Sure thing, but take me shopping first.” Because we all know men have the same hang ups about spending money on a woman, as we do about giving it up that easily. We like to wait to see if that man is worth giving our bodies to, just like he wants to wait to see if she’s worth him taking her shopping and etc.

I can’t only blame the men now. Because how are they getting away with these acts? Women are allowing them to. These women are trying to state what their standards are and when the man tells them they are only interested in one thing, they accept that. Or even worse, there are women out there who would broadcast that all they want is sex, and it doesn’t if the man is married/committed. It’s just a bad cycle revolving in more ways than one, which will be very hard to stop because it’s becoming more acceptable in today’s society. Insecurity and low self-esteem, of course, is to blame as well. I’m also not knocking people who have decided to maintain a sexual relationship with someone. Sometimes you are able to mutually agree that this is all you want, with no strings attached. It’s just so disheartening though that the older we get, more and more people are seeking that more than an actual monogamy.

And this message this goes for both females and males. Because men do it too. I once had a man tell me his woman needs to have her own house and at least be in a managerial position before he gets himself involved with her, yet, he has an apartment and has been working for UPS for 10 years with no supervisory job title. How dare he? You should have heard him. He sounded so arrogant and condescending. I kindly reminded him where he is in his life because he obviously needs a wake-up call. How the hell can you demand for someone to have things that you don’t even have yourself? How would you feel if someone told you you’re not good enough for them? Because basically, that’s what we’re doing to each other, which is why it’s so hard for people to find successful relationships. A goal oriented, financially responsible, educated person sounds good enough for me. Who cares what kind of car he drives? What does that have to do with you? Who cares if she’s salary or hourly and makes $30,000? That’s none of your business. Okay so he graduated from a vocational school and not a college. He’s still certified in his career and HAVE a job. Being so self-absorbed will not get you where you want to be. Especially if you’re blind to your own “shortcomings” that you demand so much from others.

I had a friend once who used to always look for men in the most unstable way. When we went clubbing, she would “parking-lot pimp” by watching what kind of cars the men were coming out of. Then she wanted to sit by the bar for an hour just to see if a man will buy her drink. I used to tell her all the time that she’s conducting herself as if she’s a gold-digger (there’s really no softer way to put it) and she would say she’s just looking for “the best”. Oh so “the best” is defined by how much money you have, what kind of car you drive and if you’re buying a drink or not? I didn’t expect her to see where I was coming from because she was independent for only one year of her life due to coming from a family of success and then marrying an ex-NFL player. Our friendship was soon over after a few unfortunate events. I hate trying to educate someone who’s not willing to learn. If I’m telling you that your actions speak as a woman who will be perceived differently by people (especially men), you need to take heed to my words. If you’re always finding yourself trying to find or keep a man that’s lower than your expected standards, then you’re the one with the problem. Not him. If you’re always finding yourself with a man that exchanges money for emotions, then he perceives you as a gold-digger. He’s not trying to “buy your heart”. He’s going by what you presented to him. If you’re rocking revealing/skin tight clothing then a man is going to expect that you’re easy. And after all is said and done, you’re only going to pull something that will be very temporary.

I’m not asking to lower your standards, or to accept less than what you feel you deserve. But let’s be realistic here. Maybe I’m the only one stuck in this fantasy world where if it came down to the nitty gritty, I would choose emotions over money. Money doesn’t make a man. A degree doesn’t define a person’s character. Give people a chance for who they are and not what it may say on paper. You miss out on greater opportunities with that frame of mind.

Yes…you read that right. I’m a fraud. I’m one of those people who talk so much about love, but is unable to determine it on her own. The ones that I’ve told “I love you” to, I never really loved them. At least, not the way I ought to. I was more in love with the fact that they loved me. I was infatuated with the way they cared for me. I lusted for them during the first month. But as time goes on, I started to lose that attraction. Then my patience starts to wear thin. By this time, I’ve gotten so used to being with this individual, I end up settling. Without even knowing that I have. Then that’s when it happens. Doubts. Doubts can break any bond you have with an individual. Do I really know this person? Is he really the one for me? Random thoughts start to surface my mind. Thoughts of who I wish he was more like. Thoughts of the good times I used to have with other men. Thoughts of the man that I believe to be, my ideal mate. Why I always find myself back in his arms? I don’t ever like to go backwards with relationships, but he always seem to be the exception in that rule. Like, no matter what we go through, we always end up back together. Like nothing ever happened. Is that what love is?…or is it something else? Is that healthy?…or is that self-destruction? Questions, questions, questions…that never seem to get answered…

I love you, but I’m not in love with you. I don’t think I ever was. You know who you are. And it’s more than one of you. I battle myself from time to time and try to figure out why I am like this. I’m quite sure I have broken many hearts due to my own selfishness & confusion on what love, for me, is. And I apologize for that. The biggest hint that lets me know that I don’t really love the person I am with is this: when they threaten to leave, I don’t object to them doing so. I’ll sit right on down, and watch them go. Do I cry? Nope. Does that make me an emotionless bitch? Nope. Just means that I didn’t care enough. I did, however, recall one time in my life where I did ask a man not to go. I actually fought for him not to leave. And he never left. The same man who holds that mysterious power over me. And you know what, I hold that same power over him. But why do we find ourselves apart every so often? Is that sign that we should leave each alone? Perhaps. So, if that’s the case, why do we always find each other again?

Right now in my life, I am overjoyed. My career, my financial status and my loved ones are kicking ass. I am definitely happy. But obviously…I am confused beyond natural belief. Confused as to why I feel this way and confused as to why I made the decisions that I have made this year. I have no clue what to do and it’s scaring me. Usually I’ll have a solution straight off the back when I’m presented with an ultimatum. But what do you do when the pros & cons weighs out pretty much the same in either commitment? The worst thing I can do is nothing. I want to do the right thing for me. I believe the decisions that I’ve made in the past week were the best for me right now. I swear decisions have so much power. They usually take me to the exact place I need to be, exactly when I need to get there. Maybe I should take some chances. Take some risks. Follow my heart. Since time and opportunity wait for no one, my life will not stand still until I figure out what to do. I’ve gotten so used to the way my life is, and how I handle “love”….I’m afraid to fall into it again.

I hope I’m doing the right thing…

Wow. Can you say “caught up”? I’m so glad I was able to experience those feelings because if not, I wouldn’t be so clear in what I want in a man, a relationship and love. I have such a strong embrace on love now, I take no shorts. Which is where I want to be. I feel sorry for those women that accept less than what they deserve or downplay the actions of a man. Fronting as if that’s what they want or that “it’s okay”. No it’s never okay to be treated less than what you’re worth. It’s never okay to remain somewhere when you’re not 100% happy. Even if it’s just a “sex” thing. Why give someone a coupon on your self-respect? If you allow to receive 50% of what you want, you’re giving people the legal right to only give you 50% of themselves. The neverending story you tell others as if things are how you want them to be are just a front. And you’re are only kidding yourself with those fraudelent storytales. Or maybe you’re trying to convince yourself. No matter what the circumstances are, we as women deserve to be treated how we represent ourselves. Unless you want to find yourself in a dead end relationship wth no real commitment to love.

It’s time to reflect on where you are and if that person deserves to be there with you. Love isn’t confusing. Lying to yourself is.

“the best friend” written by chanel.

As you can see, there will always be consequences just when you think a person is gaining. The woman in that poem didn’t conquer. She failed miserably. She failed her morals, self-respect and her life by having sex with her ex-boyfriend’s best friend and bringing in a baby for all the wrong reasons. She was successful in so many ways but not with her relationships. No matter how you dress it up, it’s always wrong to get involved with someone one of your close friends, or family member, used to date. If any of my friends introduce me to a man that they say they have a “crush” on, I would never make any moves on him. Or allow him to do the same to me. It’s trifling and dirty. I am immediately turned off by him because I know how my friend feels about him. I will acknowledge the fact that he’s good looking, as approval, but that’s it. Personally, I don’t think it’s appropriate. So what if he made a pass at you? So what if she always bats her eyes at you and cries on your shoulder. So what if you were drunk. They are off limits. I feel people do things like this to achieve jealousy as a reaction. But little do you know, the friend you’re stabbing in the back will never trust you again. The ex usually ends up feeling betrayed and see you in a different light. Is your reputation worth all that? It’s bad enough you got your ex running around telling people about your relationship. So now he/she can add “slut” to that equation. Would you want your ex best-friend telling everyone “That bitch tried to fuck my man”?

I’ve experienced a friend (more than once) making inappropriate comments about a man I was interested in or went on a date with before. I’ll laughed it off but in the back of my mind, I got my eye on them. If I see a pattern, that’s when I will pull her to the side and tell her how I feel. I think most of us have experienced that. Where your friend’s intentions with someone you have interest in is questionable. I’m not sure what causes these things to happen. I can easily blame it on insecurity or their lack of class and self-respect. One thing I do know for sure is that may be a sign towards the beginning of a doomed friendship.

The only thing I can advise is to take heed and keep your eyes open. If the unthinkable actually do happen, you have all right to let that friend go.

Sitting at the bar. Somehow I glanced in your direction. And at the same time, you glanced towards mine. We smiled. But did no more. The second encounter, we were pumping gas at the same gas station. Was this fate? You noticed me the same time I noticed you. Which brought us to speak. Which also lead to many more conversations. Laughter. Flirting. Sharing experiences. Understanding each other. You became my new best friend. Becoming attracted to each other’s mind. Physical contact; how invigorating that was. Twining, bonding and absorbing every part of our bodies into one. The memories are intoxicating. The times we shared. Irreplaceable. Our whispers. Our caress. Our kisses. The strength of our intimacy. We built a foundation full of love, honor and respect. We are one. You became my future. We made plans, you and I. Plans on being together. Forever. Your family was my family. As was mine. That morning we made love before we went to work. That night we argued over pizza and soon found ourselves kissing on the floor. Your friend’s birthday when we got really drunk and ended up sleeping in the car. The parties. The wild nights. Those walks. The dinners. Our bed. Pure bliss. I felt like I was in heaven. But then something happened. The negative takeover . You started calling less. I became restless. Rolling my eyes every time you gave me yoru opinion. Irritable. Frustration. Confusion. Is the love still there? The way I glared at you. The way you yelled at me. Less quality time was spent with one another. The conversations turned into arguments. Our Friday nights turned into “nah, maybe next week”. The intimacy turned into just plain ole sex. No foreplay. No candles. No tears of satisfaction. Just tears of grief of the feeling that our “intimacy” has become a task. You criticized me more often. I lost focus in you. We stopped grasping each other’s attention with little things. We started blaming each other for things instead of taking responsibility and fixing. The pain starts to sink in. Someone gave up. Someone became somebody else. Someone decided they wanted out. Someone, didn’t love anymore. The confusion. The tears. The heartache. The loneliness. Not having those lips anymore. Not being held in those arms again. Not having you look at me with admiration anymore. Feeling unwanted. Sad. Tired. Unloved.

Now here comes the truth. Years may go by, you will still be in my heart. The pain have subsided, but remembered like yesterday. Many will try, but you are still the best. Some may have gotten close, but you always conquered. Love, will come again…but not as strong as yours. I miss you. I miss your lips, your smile and your touch. I miss it all. Wait a minute. Did I really move on? Am I in denial? They say never go backwards. But suddenly, I want that feeling back. I want you. Or do I just want to be in love again? Is that my reality? Am I in love with being in love? They say love will come again. How will I know? They say you can never lose your true love. Then how did I lose you? Can I have you back? I doubt if you feel the same. Things have changed though. I can make it better then it was before. We can make it work. But are you even worth it now? Should I even waste my time? Matter fact, I change my mind. I think it’s best leave well alone. Maybe you were not my true love. If it was meant to be, it will be. It would have been already. Just like the first day we met. That happened with no struggle. And love should come without any force. Who knows what would happen if I tried, again. But I’ll pass. Want to know why? Here’s why. We may only have one life to live, however, you’ll only have one chance to love. And you had your chance already. Now, someone better is showing me exactly what real love feels like.

Strange how some of the most influential relationships you’ve had in your life can still be reflected upon years later. I don’t recall telling most people how I felt, or feel, when my heart got broken. Especially when it happened more than once. But pretty much, that’s the best I can describe it. It is often difficult to express and communicate the essence of what our inner world is experiencing, because we’re not always aware of what we’re truly feeling. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed by good or bad feelings and this is usually shown by our behavior. Without saying a word. We find our feelings become invisible and we’re unable to do anything at all. It’s really our actions that translate the intangible mystery of our feelings into reality. When people ask us “what’s wrong” how come we usually say “oh nothing” when we know good & damn well something is wrong? Nothing is wrong but everything is. Makes sense? Reason why I usually say “nothing” is because I’m actually being closed in. Part of me don’t want to pour my problems on people and the other part is because I choose to keep negativity to myself. If I’m going to speak upon myself, I prefer for it to be the brighter things that are occurring in my life. I’m still a small culprit for having a brick wall but that’s because people tend to use things against you as soon as there’s some disharmony. In the alternate universe I live in, I find that amusing. In my reality, I don’t know if it’s all that entertaining. It’s hurtful. Some people believe if you don’t share all of your problems with those that inquire, you’re only limiting yourself from people that possibly care about you. That may be true. But there’s a stronger part of me that believes those same people will throw those very same things up in your face when you make them upset. It has happened to me in almost every relationship. Funny how the people you care about would be the ones to make that wall even stronger by betraying you. By breaking your heart.

I don’t get upset at what was said or how a relationship ended. It’s the intention behind their words & actions that bother me. I’m women enough to admit that I am afraid of being hurt ever again. For my heart to be broken. To the point where I’ve become numb & scared. I guess it’s time to break down that wall and let my feelings flow again in a healthy way. Or perhaps subconsciously, I have a hidden agenda. And just to clarify things, I am still open to love. I’m just more careful as to whom deserves to get that love from me.