How come Halle Berry gets a bad rap for her relationships? The conversation about Halle Berry & her relationships is oddly turning into “What’s wrong with Halle?”, because apparently this is all her fault.
The public logic of Halle’s love life usually follows as so:
1. But she’s so pretty! Why can’t she keep a man? — Talk about a backhanded compliment: yes you are pretty, and that is “all that matters”. A woman’s worth is wrapped up in what she can see in the mirror, and because she is attractive, there’s no reason why some man shouldn’t have clubbed her and dragged her back to his cave eons ago. It’s oversimplification; relationships aren’t compatibility and chemistry, they are just looks and attraction. In truth, being attractive may provide more opportunity, but it does not secure the relationship. Focusing on her looks belittles any sort of character or personality she may have, because most importantly, she is pretty!
2. Something must be wrong with her. — Well obviously if she is attractive and pretty, and can’t “keep” a man, there must be something wrong with her. An attractive man can play the field until he’s gray in the hair — it’s call being the preternatural bachelor. A woman who’s attractive and hops from man to man, it’s called “having issues” or worse, “whore.” These types of logical fallacies once again overlook the complicated and complex elements of creating a lasting relationship.
3. She has Daddy issues. — Because what Black woman doesn’t? — (sarcasm). Naturally that’s always the conclusion to be drawn from a woman who has trouble dating. But if a man has dating issues, do we ever say he has Mommy issues? Of course not.
To say that Halle’s got some underlying issue pulling her into unsuccessful relationships implicates that it’s all her fault — well Halle, if you did a better job at picking men, maybe you wouldn’t be caught up in drama, again.
And that just feels unfair. Fact is, few people deliberately and consciously go headlong into a relationship with the knowledge that it will be a detriment to their life. I’m sure when Anna Mae Bullock met Ike Turner, she thought he was a nice man. Eventually she learned that he wasn’t so much, but do we chastise her for heading down that path in the first place? Few people have psychic ability as a character strength.
This isn’t to say that all is well in her world, Halle may have some real and deep-seated issues. For sure there is an unfortunate pattern in her public love life. But by squarely placing the blame on poor decision making not only oversimplifies relationships, it also very conveniently removes any responsibility of her partner. In reality (and probably even more so in Hollywood) ugly break ups are quite common. The “amicable” break up is a much more rare occurrence, and that deserves more news coverage than two people who broke up and — shocker — now no longer get along. Unfortunately for Halle, her average ugly breakup is hot tabloid fodder, giving her issues a more sensational element (and audience) than your average girl from Ohio.
Love and relationships are a crap shoot, and Halle’s issues with Gabriel just affirms this. It feels unfair to draw conclusions about Halle’s personal life just because she’s having another rough spate, a bad break up just makes her human, not abnormal.
