No matter how many people wish I didn’t have so many talents that make me the person that I am today, they will never dim my light that shines from within.

If you’re insecure or have low self-esteem, keep rehearsing that in your mind. Like I’ve stated before, what you may find “wrong” within yourself, there’s someone out there that will embrace that and love you for you. Never allow anyone or anything to limit your mind because of your race, color, gender expression, style of fashion, work experience, non-existent college degrees or body type. Take no shorts, cut down on the compromising and never settle for less. Believe in who we are and what we do. Look up to and trust ourselves to make it through the difficulties just knowing that we can. Only we can truly appreciate and celebrate our own success. Don’t do it for him, don’t do it for her. Don’t try to prove them wrong. Don’t worry about their negative opinion (unless it’s asked for). We’re all are equipped and capable of getting to where we want to be as long as we create a positive pattern of self-worth.

Continue to believe you’re the best because you are the best. And no one, I mean no one…. can tell you otherwise.

Too many people have allowed themselves to remain in situations that are unproductive. As you mature, you outgrow interests, hobbies, habits and even people. The process of elimination works the best. Especially when you’ve exhausted all attempts to make it right. The more you stay in a negative situation, the more you need to start blaming yourself. All of this blame we place on everyone else for the things we’re unable to do for ourselves are becoming a bit tedious. Blah. If you ask me I think it’s all a crock of shit. I know for a fact that you know at least one person who was raised a certain way and exposed to certain things and have become the total opposite of what’s been instilled in their mind. Aren’t you one of those people?

If you have the desire to do something, then do it. You will feel much worse if you never did. Then you’ll be living your whole life wondering the “shoulda, coulda, woulda”. Sometimes, we reach a point where we can finally tolerate the downfalls of life, yet are unable to cease it or prevent it from happening again. The only way you will successfully end it all (the negativity, the disappointments, the frustrations) is to stand up for yourself, and stand up for what you believe in. Quit settling & start your search for what you truly deserve. More than likely, your stress is caused by you compromising yourself, to suit others or a particular situation. I know that’s what caused mine. And I’ve ended that cycle. For months I’ve been catering to certain people’s incapability of handling problems the right way, or even their own stress, only out of hope, respect & love. But where was my dignity? Where was my ability to take charge & do what’s right? May have took a few months to achieve that goal but guess what?…I’m here. And the goal was to be able to survive on my own.

There will be rough times, difficult situations, things to fall into & out of, major obstacles and forks in the road all through your mission. My mission is to allow people to feel how I am feeling by providing my story, followed up with my personal suggestive solution. The power I have to make people open their eyes and see what they couldn’t see before makes me happy on levels beyond my normal reach. I do it because I believe I can do it. I’m not ashamed to tell my stories about my past experiences, shortcomings & failed relationships. Flaws and all, as long as I am honest about who I am.

Finding your inner peace is better than peanut butter.

imperfections.

9:42am…
her bags under her eyes, squints, as she opens them.
he’s already looking at her, analyzing.
he notices the hint of brown sugar in her pupils…
the glow in her skin, which ricochets off of her natural oils.
he wipes her left brow with his fingertips, admiring the unknown scar…
she yawns.
he reaches over and lays his head on her stomach.
he finds comfort within her warm pouch.
listening to her soul during the rise and fall of her breathing.
he sighs.
she exhales.
as he looks up, he begins to caress her body
noticing the fade in the tattoo on her chest
touches it gently, reading the name.
he kisses it, followed by a glance, making eye contact.
she smiles.
parting her lips to explain the tattoo, he presses his finger against it.
mmm. she can taste his desire.
he pulls her on top of him…
positioning her body to where they are at eye level
her lips meet his. he devours her, as he tastes her morning essence.
his hands lingers towards past her back & she slightly shivers….
he pulls he face back, gently licking her upper lip.
she digresses.
as they rise, he steps a few feet away from her
she hurries to follow behind his shadow.
he turns around, alarmed at her sudden movements
she looks at him, with fear in her eyes, like an innocent child…
and then realizes.
he then grabs her hands, that were previously covering her body…
and bring them down.
he speaks…
“I capitalize your imperfections because they make you perfectly unique.”
and with that, he walks away. leaving her standing there…
flawed.
alone.
naked.
confident.
she loves….

Knowing is beautiful and doing is wise because actions speak louder than words. By our actions lies truth and nothing’s more beautiful than being true to yourself and others.

Knowing is beautiful and what’s even more beautiful is the woman who knows or at least realizes that she doesn’t have to try to be beautiful. She is beautiful all on her own, with no effort.

It’s impossible to love, while hating. Progress, while oppressing. Trying to promote unity within yourself yet tearing others down. How can you understand if you’re not listening? Withholding rational & logic but expect to be understood & respected? It’s simply impossible. You need to know that there’s only one path to follow = negative or positive. Either we accept what we believe in ourselves and keep it moving or allow others to convince us otherwise. If we love ourselves as the foundation as future growth for our own progress, we don’t need to worry about others hating us. Please know that if you’re that effective towards the world without even saying a word then know that you are phenomenal. Do not acknowledge the negativity. Enforce it into something positive and realize you are that important to even be thought about. In any way. Therefore you just learned one new thing about yourself. It’s much more rewarding to carry yourself with class, grace, & style when so much negativity is thrown your way. Turn your nose up and just ignore the ignorance. People who are unhappy with themselves put so much time into hating others, yet they wanna know everything about them. They judge you and crucify you for the things you have done in your life. Ironically, they have nerve to talk. Then they try to emulate you, befriend your friends, befriend your enemies, follow your life, try to figure out what you’re doing, who you’re doing, when you’re doing it, the whole nine yards. Almost like an obsession. When they are unable to accept the harsh cruel reality, which is their life, they commence to focus on the people they envy (you) and spread rumors about you. You know who you are. You know what you represent. You know what your life entails. You are untouchable.

And just by knowing…you become invincibly beautiful.

Where’s your confidence? Your esteem? Your security? You gonna let them tell you what you’re capable of doing and achieving? I’m going to go ahead and guess that these same people are jealous of you. Filled with envy due to the fact that they were unable to fulfill their desires. So instead of encouraging someone else who has that chance or aspiration, they try their best to destroy the dream. Regardless of what anyone says, each of us brings to the world unique talents, gifts and abilities. Even if you don’t know what it is, or value what you do, someone, somewhere, will benefit from your presence. No one can do what you do exactly the way you do it. So if she tells you you’re not good enough for her because of your “flaws” so be it. If he tells you that you’re not “glamorous” enough for him, oh the fuck well. Always remember and never forget, you are just as unique and as valuable as the other. Confidence is all about knowing what you’re worth naturally. You don’t need a man/woman “reassuring” you everyday to feel like you’re worth it. Never allow anyone or anything to limit your mind because of your race, color, gender expression, style, fashion taste, work experience, non-existent college degrees or body type. Trust me…you’re not missing out on anything. It’s their loss. Not yours. When you do what you do, exactly the way you do it, someone will adore you just for that. Without reading all the fine print.

Get a mirror, smile and commence being what you are. Who cares what people think? They’re all are jealous anyway. Please know that if you’re that effective towards the world without even saying a word then know that you are phenomenal. Do not acknowledge the negativity. Enforce it into something positive and realize you are that important to even be thought about. In any way. Therefore you just learned one new thing about yourself. It’s much more rewarding to carry yourself with class, grace, & style when so much negativity is thrown your way. Turn your nose up and just keep it moving. You know who you are. You know what you represent. You know what your life entails. You are untouchable. And just by knowing…you become invincibly confident.

One of the best kept secrets in life is your confidence. However, somebody, somewhere tricked you into believing you’re not good enough. They told you that there were certain things you could not do because of who you were. Who you’re trying to be. Who you are. Someone else told you that only certain people could do or be the very thing you wanted to be and you did not fit the bill (ie: successful lawyer, famous actor, a great girlfriend, a good father, etc.). You presented yourself & your goals to them & they turned you down and made you feel like you were not one of those people that can achieve those things. With a sleight-of-hand manipulation of facts, someone made you think you didn’t have what it takes, so they took it. Someone told you that you were slow, or lazy; too fat, too skinny; crazy or too quiet; or just flat out not good enough. How dare they? And you believed that? They done tricked you into believing what they wanted you to believe. They knew who you were and knew you had no idea…no idea that you could have placed a stop to everyone (or one individual) from convincing you that you’re just not good enough. You know better than that. Where’s your confidence? Your esteem? Your security? You gonna let them tell you what you’re capable of doing and achieving? I’m going to go ahead and guess that these same people are jealous of you. Filled with envy due to the fact that they were unable to fulfill their desires. So instead of encouraging someone else who has that chance or aspiration, they try their best to destroy the dream. Regardless of what anyone says, each of us brings to the world unique talents, gifts and abilities. Even if you don’t know what it is, or value what you do, someone, somewhere, will benefit from your presence. No one can do what you do exactly the way you do it. For every personal goal that I’ve tried to accomplish there was always at least one thing (or person) trying to get in my way. But I’m no fool. I looked beyond that and kept striving to succeed. Granted not everything I started I finished, but I gave it my best while I was active in it. The only way to get where you want to be is to do what needs to be done to get there. Now that you know what to expect, and do….prepare yourself.

Never give up on what you believe in. It really doesn’t matter how long it takes to reach your goal. As long as you have determination and motivation to get you there. Even love. The moment you give up on doing it, it will never get done. The moment you focus on the negative energy that’s trying to swing your way, you lose that power. With all your great accomplishments that’s going on in your life, why should you take notice to anything that’s trying to bring you down? Everything that we experience, everything we think, feel and do is in divine order. And if you just so happen to follow a path to do someone wrong, karma will catch up with you. You won’t be able to stop it from happening because that’s just how life is and sometimes we have to struggle through that. However, you can stop it from derailing your natural being. For me, my power of ignoring comes very handy at this point. Sometimes you tend to wonder why certain things happen. Why people can’t just think before they apply action. Do they know that unless you can benefit from it in the future, whatever they think, say or do to you will only make them look stupid? While all these games & charades are going on, there’s a strong being called reality that they have no clue about. And while they’re suffering from the lack of reality, everyone else around you are climbing to higher levels. These things happen because they are meant to strengthen our ability to handle anyone & anything at any given moment. It places you right back on track on who, when and what to trust. Everything that you go through happen the way they should, at the right time, to the right people, and ended the right way. The only job we have, is to know we are equipped to handle it. I know I’m equipped to handle just about anything because I am strong minded, experienced enough, independent, assertive and realistic. Are you?

If you allow me to.

I see you watching me walk. My redefined shape is driving you crazy. Gimme one second, I’ll pose for a picture. The confidence that I have in myself is such a turn on for you isn’t it? The fact that I carry myself with such class, and grace. Even when I’m having a bad day. My wide range of attire. The different ways that I style my hair. The subtle make-up I place on my eyes, bringing out more of the fierceness in my stare. You also admire the fact that I don’t look for hand outs. I don’t complain about the lackluster in our men today nor do I expect a man to take care of me. I can careless how much money you make or what kind of car you drive. That doesn’t benefit me the least bit. I take care of myself. Independence is a rare disease these days. And you’re ecstatic that I have that “abnormal” condition. I’m not looking for sugar daddy. I’m looking for someone who I can call “daddy“. Every night.

If you allow me to.

It’s time to take this to another level. My body is yearning for your touch. I want to explore your body while your mind is at ease. I want to kiss you. Just so I can a preview of what love taste like. I’m sure your bottom lip trembles when you watch me breathe. The way my chest goes in and out, as my breasts soothe my rising heart rate. You want to caress them don’t you? When I lay you down, you have no choice but to surrender your body to me. It’s called ecstasy. And from what you told me, I don’t think you’ve ever been exposed to that. Are you interested? I see us laying in the bed at night not speaking. We’re just being comfortable, enjoying our presence next to each other. As my fingers glide over each pressure point of your sexy stature, I can feel your pulse beat faster, and faster. Let me do all of the work. I am confident that once I’m on top, you’ll never regret it. And will become addicted. To this.

If you allow me to.

With all of this being said, you think you can handle me? I’ve had many in the past that were simply unable to. Whether it was their insecurity, lack of chemistry or negative prospects. As I stand in front of you, naked, baring my soul…are you channeling your eyes through my emotions or are you just staring in vain? I am aware of the fact that my seduction took a hold of your senses . I have the control now. I have persuaded you to do whatever I want. The enticing way I got you to let me in. In your mind. In your soul. In your heart. It was my selective way of speaking. The way I express my thoughts. And the way I carry myself. You try to fight it and as I continue to overpower you with all of myself, you cannot resist. You know what that is? You’ve falling for me. Ahhh. You didn’t realize that huh? Do you know what real love from a real woman feels like? Give me your hand and follow me. I can show you.

If…

“Stacy” and I lost contact with each other as the years went by, until she moved down here around the same time I did. We still didn’t contact each other until she was in need of assistance. So right there I felt like the only reason she called on me for help is because she had no one else to turn to. Not like she actually cared about me and how I’ve been doing. Nevertheless, I helped her out in any way that I can. She still used her brother’s name for fame & seemed even worse with her baby-like ways. During the time I helped her, she vented about how she has no friends, that she’s bored down here, she doesn’t know where to go to hang out, she can never find dates and blah blah blahhh. So, being that we have history & the outgoing person that I am, whenever I went out mingling, I invited her. Keyword = invited.

Trust me, I’m going somewhere with this….

Every time I invite “Stacy” out, she makes up this excuse as to why she can’t go. Since December, we have been out together a total 4 times. Yes, 4 times. The other 96 times I heard the outrageous excuses. Some of the invites and excuses are as follows:

1) I won tickets to a comedy show with a reserved table. An hour before it was time for me to pick her up, she said she dropped her car keys down the elevator chute. I reminded her that I was driving and she said her house keys were also attached to the car keys. Needless to say, I ended up staying up because it was too short notice to find someone else to go on a work night.
2) I signed us up for this adult gaming event where you can play games like Spades, Hungry Hungry Hippo, Monopoly and etc. with other people in a bar/lounge setting. It’s $10 for each person. The evening of the event, she suddenly had to babysit her niece. So I was assed out $20.
3) We had plans to go to a lounge on a Thursday night where I usually meet nice men at. She agreed to go with me on Monday & talked about it everyday that week. By time Thursday hits, she mysteriously “forgot” and took an enema that afternoon. :straight:

Honestly, I understand things may and can happen. But “Stacy’s” sad ass ain’t fooling me. The first couple of times she flaked out on me I was completely done with her and went a month not speaking to her. Then I felt bad and invited her back out. That time she came. Good. But then I noticed something that night. She’s always sulking or looking droopy whenever we hang out. Almost like she’s depressed. After that night when I asked her what was wrong with her, she then revealed to me that she’s uncomfortable going out because she feels fat, unattractive, and invisible. Especially next to me. What?!?! I kindly reminded her that regardless of what others think of you, or me, YOU have to think beautiful of yourself. Then she goes to say that all the men approach me and they don’t pay her no mind every time we go out and yadda yadda yadda. Are you kidding me? I gave her a little 2 hour prep talk and thought that I boosted her esteem enough to come back out with me. That turned out to be the night she took an “enema” and also the last time I spoke to her.

See, the moral of this story is, no matter how you look, you will be treated how you project yourself. I have seen the UGLIEST women get attention out in public. You want to know why? Because they exude confidence & strength. Regardless what they look like. They smile, laugh, give exceptional conversation and great body language. If you’re all slumped over with a scowl on your face, do you really think men will approach you? They’re going to see you for what you are representing. A miserable depressed being. How can you expect to have a fun, joyous life with people if you’re not out there trying to meet new people and enjoying yourself? Sitting at home all night sulking while your television watches you is not the answer. There have been times where I had no one to come out with me. And guess what? I took my little tail right out to those events, BY MYSELF, and sipped on my Hennessy (courtesy of man 1, 2 and 3) with my pinky finger in the air and was straight OWNING the place. You always need the one pinky finger in the air with an eyebrow raised. Fierceness in motion.

I haven’t spoke to “Stacy” since then because I got tired of her flaky ways. Plus she knows I have a child so she didn’t think once of being considerate towards that fact as well. Wasting my time & money. Need I remind you I was the one that always drove her out of courtesy because her money wasn’t always right. Friends don’t do that to each other. And I’m not guilty for letting her go. Weight off my back and fear off my shoulder having to worry if she’s going to flake out or not.