Blessings | chanel.

what cons?

How do you start feeling better about yourself? There have been times in your life where you haven’t been on the positive side of the fence. You just had to get over a couple of bumps in the road. There was a time where I used to feel that way. I was so worried about the negative events that occurred during that time, I pushed everything else in the back burner. Forgetting about all of the great positive things I’ve achieved along the way. I mean, why spend so much time dwelling on something you won’t ever be able to change? It’s out of our reach. That’s the thing about the past. It’s supposed to remain there. Untouched. Sometimes I have to fall back and really catch myself before I start to complain. When you complain, all you’re doing is not taken notice and being grateful for what we do have. We’re giving too much to dwell on what we lack. I believe once we appreciate the greatness we have, just by having life and being one of the people that He choose to wake up that morning, we will be granted more blessings. I have so much to be thankful for. I have my wonderful daughter, a growing relationship with my boyfriend, a home to come to that I can call mine, a great career, a nice car, my bills are paid and I have good health. Forget about the cons and concentrate on continuing the pros. I have new-found motivation to further my life down different paths and I can’t wait to continue this journey.

Start counting your blessings and be grateful for what you have. Things could be a lot worse. You’ve already experienced “worse” and look where you are today. Did you ever find the time to thank someone for it? Because the same person you asked to help you get out of that strife, most likely was the same person who provided the solution for you. So many people go through life believing they’re being cheated or the world owes them something. No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself because you chose & accepted what you receive. We create whatever we want in our lives. All you need is proper guidance and a perception to get there. You ever sit alone in your room and find yourself engulfed in a good book , or a good song, unplanned? That’s a perfect example of having a true peace of mind.

I feel so blessed & I am grateful for all that I have. How about you?

wednesday.

Today is Wednesday. And I am so happy where I am in my life right now. Last year this time I had different goals for myself. As each year goes by, my emotions and outlook about life & love vigorously changes. I used to be a mixture of emotions. Used to wait until a particular day/date before I decide to make the changes I need to make. Unsure if I am supposed to make those changes. But now my mind is clear about who I was, who I am and where I’m going. This ongoing battle that I used to have with my mind versus my heart was such an incredible power that it literally expanded whatever I touched. When I was faced with a challenge, obstacle or problem, my tendency was to cut it off. Now I nurture it. Now, through the process of elimination, I evaluate the situation first to see if it’s even worth my personal care. Our thinking process harbors the issue. Our hearts…well…simply tells us different. We talk about it, but we don’t come to a solution. We describe it vividly, but are unable to recognize it when it’s in our face. We monitor its progress day by day, imagining how much it’s growing & how it’s effects are devastating every aspect of our lives. Yet we still allow it to. You know what we’re doing? We’re giving it more value than it’s worth. We’re settling due to our selfishness. Where do we find that strength to stop it before we hurt ourselves? Why wait until New Years? Or your birthday?

Are you able to make the right long-term decisions instead of just living for today? I simple adore being embraced, appreciated & loved for the woman I am. And nothing’s better than being acknowledged of these things by your family, friends & significant other. But what do you do when it’s all coming from the right places at the wrong time? I’ve grown to notice that the most beautiful things happens at the most inconvenient times in our lives. It gets to the point where you have to pick, choose and then eliminate one of those inconveniences. We can think, speak and bring the best possible outcome into existence by focusing on where we’re going, not on where we think we are. Think about it…how far can you go living for today instead of catering to your future happiness? Best things happens to those who wait huh? I waited (for years) and everything is falling into place. Exactly where I want them to.

But what if you’re tired of waiting? What if you end up having faith into the number one thing you don’t believe in? They say everything happens for a reason right? Well maybe this time, you should go against the grain and just see what exactly is the reason why you continuously challenge yourself. Stop focusing on “what’s not there” & be grateful for what is.

Note to self: There’s nothing special about today. It’s not a Monday, nor is it my birthday. It’s not New Years, nor is this a resolution. If you want to make a change, start now.

love will find you.

We’re always looking for the perfect relationship but look for the wrong qualities to fulfill one. The goal is to find that perfect someone to who will make our lives better place to be, not a better place to look at. Love can be the sweetest thing but also can be bitter at the same time. I think someone need to really go through all the ups and downs of relationships to truly learn what love is about. I did realize a couple things about myself during my years of dating & trying to find “Mr. Right”: I needed a lot of fixing. Once I realized that, starting my process of becoming a better person, I found happiness within myself, without the aide of a man. Things that I thought mattered before, don’t matter to me now. The trials and tribulations that I’ve been through the past year have humbled me greatly. So, with this new found humbleness that I hone, came along people & things that I wouldn’t have noticed before.

We should never let someone tell us that we aren’t good enough, or that we have to change. When you love, you love hard. Unconditionally, without judgment. I put all of my energy in the people I love, and because of that, I won’t let anyone say I have to change. I’m still open minded and I always look at things both ways, so if I was wrong, I’m the kind of person who admits it and tries to correct my mistakes. People can still take advantage out of you and “steal” all your loving energy though. You ever moved on from someone & felt drained? That is exactly what they have done. They sucked up all of your greatness & used it for themselves. That is something we need to learn: Do not give your love to just anyone. Only to the persons who are willing to give that love back. If you really think about, it shouldn’t be hard at all to love someone. Loving someone isn’t a task. Loving someone isn’t about changing for them. It’s about changing for the better. Love isn’t about holding yourself back. Loving someone is about growth. It’s about starting a new life with that person. For a future that you’ve always dream about.

For years I’ve heard that you shouldn’t LOOK for love. It’ll come to you. I’ve heard so many stories from my married friends that when they first fell in love, they weren’t looking for it. It just happened. I’ve never believed that because I’m a go-getter & what go-getters do, is go for what they want. Not sit around & wait for it. Well, I believe it now. As soon as I stopped looking, love found me. Someone has learned to love me for me. Not for who I was. Not for who he thinks I should be. And not for all the superficial reasons that we use to mask our intentions. He witnessed and reviewed all of my flaws and has embraced them. He took my life history as “my story” and not as my “endured pain”. When I look into his eyes, I see myself. When I think about our chemistry, I see danger. Our beings, together bring out a force so powerful, that just thinking about his touch gives me goose bumps. It’s that serious. If I thought I knew love before, I was wrong. These feelings that I feel now, are beyond explainable. There are no words for how this man makes me feel. He entered my life right at the most positive turning point I have ever made with my emotions and myself. When I put myself out there, he was actually drawn to my inner exposure and not towards the skin that you can see with your bare eyes. Did I love him from day one? Who knows. But from the moment that he became significant in my life, I knew that there was not one day I wanted to live without this man.

oh no not i…

When my car spun out of control, Biggie Smalls was rapping about how more money brings more problems. Then when it flipped, all I thought “Why me? Not now!” but my mouth was yelling “Oh God, No!”. Airbags deployed then in a few more moments, I heard a big bang. My car finally stopped. I look up and I saw was darkness & a bunch of trees. My lights were still on, and Biggie was still rhyming. I tried to open my door but it was stuck. So I grabbed my purse & my cellphone off the floor & opened the window. Don’t ask me how but I managed to get my big head through it & crawled out of the car. The state of shock I was in doesn’t allow me to remember how I did it. I do, however, remember hearing a loud “crack” from the tree that was preventing my car from falling the remainder 450ft. I had to move fast. I looked up and I can hear the cars on the highway, but I barely see it. I grabbed a tree stump and started to climb. I stuck my feet into the dirt as leverage to climb higher. 50 feet later, I was finally facing the same railing that my car crashed through. I collapsed on it and proceeded to call 911…

An hour later, after the police blocked the highway, I watched the tow truck pull my car out of the ditch. Ever crumpled up foil paper? That’s how the front & the rear of my car looked. I don’t know how I got out of that with no missing teeth, no broken bones or major injuries, but I am extremely grateful for it. My weave and nails were still fabulous darling. The rescue crew were giving me high fives because they’ve said other people have died in that same ditch. Also, they’ve never seen a woman save herself like the way I did. Was it the military training from over 10 years ago? Was it because I was in shock? No. It was because I knew it wasn’t time for me to leave my daughter yet. I refused to lose my position in life. If I was supposed to die at that moment, I would have been dead. Friday night was not that moment. This is part where I start playing Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” & do the cocaine snap.

Here comes the profound thoughts of life, God, my blessings and how horrible 2009 has been to me. To everyone. I don’t know what it is about this year that has everyone in a worldspin, but guess what?…[Yes, I'm about to tell you something that's very cliche.]…You’re still alive. Something, that I keep reminding myself since Friday night. Something, that all of my loved ones kept telling me all weekend. I want to sulk and sob about the things I have endured the past couple of months, but something cockblock the tears. There’s a lot more going on in my life and it’s amazing how you find out who your true friends are when you’re in need of help. Sucks that it has to be that way, but that’s how life is. And I am grateful that I still have mine.

The first image is the ditch. You can’t see my car from the edge of the highway. The only reason my car didn’t go further than 50ft was because it crashed into a tree. The second image are the 2 bruises I endured from the seatbelt that saved my life.

Life may be rough and a lot of unfair events will occur, but don’t allow it to alter your motivation. So many people go through life believing they’re being cheated or the world owes them something. I’m not going to lie, I am very guilty of that because I’m doing it now. However, no one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself because you chose & accepted what you receive. We create whatever we want in our lives. All you need is proper guidance and a perception to get there. Of course things like car accidents, plane crashes and certain diseases cannot be avoided, nor do we deserve them, but don’t waste too much of your time trying to figure out “why” it happened. Since the car accident, I haven’t been able to sleep well. Those that know me personally, knows that I love sleeping and can sleep for 12-14 hours straight without waking up. Now, I can barely fall asleep or stay asleep for more than 4 hours. I keep getting flashbacks of the accident. But, I have to fall back and really catch myself before I start to complain. When you complain, all you’re doing is not taken notice and being grateful for what we do have. We’re giving too much to dwell on what we lack. I believe once we appreciate the greatness we have, just by having life and being one of the people that He choose to wake up that morning, we will be granted more blessings. I have so much to be thankful for. Mainly, the fact that He spared my life so I can come home to my wonderful daughter. What more can I ask for?

12/22/09 Update: Pictures of my car:

peace of mind.

September 20, 2009
11 Comments
drama elimination, reality
blessings, happiness, peace of mind, reality

I’m starting to feel a lot better lately. The past couple of months I haven’t been on the positive side of the fence. Just had to get over a couple of bumps in the road that’s all. I was so worried about the negative events that occurred within the past few months, I pushed everything else in the back burner. Forgetting about all of the great positive things I’ve achieved along the way. I mean, why spend so much time dwelling on something you won’t ever be able to change? It’s out of our reach. That’s the thing about the past. It’s supposed to remain there. Untouched. Sometimes I have to fall back and really catch myself before I start to complain. When you complain, all you’re doing is not taken notice and being grateful for what we do have. We’re giving too much to dwell on what we lack. I believe once we appreciate the greatness we have, just by having life and being one of the people that He choose to wake up that morning, we will be granted more blessings. I have so much to be thankful for. I have my wonderful daughter, a home to come to that I can call mine, a great career, a nice car, good grades and I have good health.

Many people take life for granted. Some look at it as if it’s a gift and others look at it as “too much work” or turmoil. We kiss our teeth and roll our eyes over the thought of fighting for our happiness. But when something goes wrong in our life we tend to give up on it. Or even worse, holding someone else responsible when life doesn’t give us what we want. Moving day to day, with no plan, no goals and ultimately no rewards. Life is way too short to waste it on negativity. We only get one life so live it up the best way you can. You got people that haven’t done shit with their life but complain about it. Running around whining about how their life is the worse but do nothing to improve it. Laying around mumbling about frivolous shit like it’s the end of the world. They went unnoticed, haven’t done anything for themselves and probably just as, if not more, miserable and confused as you are. But the difference between you and them is that you’re making a change with your life. Here we are, not even old yet, and already giving up on the blueprint to our serenity.

Don’t be afraid to take a chance. Life is all about risks and learning from your experiences. If you’ve done things that didn’t work, do something else. Failed your classes when your major was Forensics Science?…chose a different major and try again. Got dumped by a girl for the 5th time?…find another one that’s better then the last. If you do absolutely nothing for yourself or for your life how do you expect to have a good one? The only way you’ll receive a reward for what you do is if you worked hard for it. A closed mouth don’t get fed. When you think negatively, you attract negativity. When you confront your life with negative thoughts, you’ll have experiences to confirm what you’re thinking. What you believe people and the world are doing to you is actually a reflection of what your thoughts are drawing to you. Positive thoughts, aspects and goals brings happiness throughout the darkness in your life. The better you are at nurturing, supporting and believing in yourself, the better life gets.

If you continue to keep purpose in your mind and have faith in happiness, you will find it. You know what makes you happy and will keep you there in the long run, so go for it. It’ll give you a peace of mind. So many people go through life believing they’re being cheated or the world owes them something. No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself because you choose & accepted what you receive. We create whatever we want in our lives. All you need is proper guidance and a perception to get there. You ever sit alone in your room and found yourself engulfed in your own thoughts, unplanned? I find myself doing that almost every night before going to bed. Some may call it “getting old” but I call it finding my true inner peace.

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My name is Chanel and I love pink, tattoos and hair weaves. Mother of one, engaged, web designer, loves my cat Princess & my shihtzu Romeo. “Accomplish everything without fear” is one of my favorites quotes. I am not affiliated with nor do I support the illuminati.

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what cons?

wednesday.

love will find you.

oh no not i…

peace of mind.

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