What is it that make these woman keep going and going and going? Is it addictive? Is it the peer pressure in Hollywood? I just don’t understand why someone who’s already naturally beautiful, would go and take such a high risk at changing or destroying that look. It has to be some sort of deep embedded insecurity. It’s that same insecurity that will have them deny ever getting work done to their face or body.

Take Kim Kardashian for example. I used to love love love how she looked before. But now, she looks like a mannequin. She swears that she has never received any plastic surgery, never got work done on her face, and only tried Botox once. I beg to differ Kim.

On to a lighter note, my daughter is going to be an artist! Her artistic alias is “Asia Kidd”. Isn’t that cute?! I’ve gotten her the basics (coloring pencils, sketch pads and a clipboard) so any other suggestions are welcomed. She learned via YouTube videos and is able to draw without any tutorials. Here’s my favorite out of the bunch:

asia kidd.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

by Maya Angelou

imperfections.

9:42am…
her bags under her eyes, squints, as she opens them.
he’s already looking at her, analyzing.
he notices the hint of brown sugar in her pupils…
the glow in her skin, which ricochets off of her natural oils.
he wipes her left brow with his fingertips, admiring the unknown scar…
she yawns.
he reaches over and lays his head on her stomach.
he finds comfort within her warm pouch.
listening to her soul during the rise and fall of her breathing.
he sighs.
she exhales.
as he looks up, he begins to caress her body
noticing the fade in the tattoo on her chest
touches it gently, reading the name.
he kisses it, followed by a glance, making eye contact.
she smiles.
parting her lips to explain the tattoo, he presses his finger against it.
mmm. she can taste his desire.
he pulls her on top of him…
positioning her body to where they are at eye level
her lips meet his. he devours her, as he tastes her morning essence.
his hands lingers towards past her back & she slightly shivers….
he pulls he face back, gently licking her upper lip.
she digresses.
as they rise, he steps a few feet away from her
she hurries to follow behind his shadow.
he turns around, alarmed at her sudden movements
she looks at him, with fear in her eyes, like an innocent child…
and then realizes.
he then grabs her hands, that were previously covering her body…
and bring them down.
he speaks…
“I capitalize your imperfections because they make you perfectly unique.”
and with that, he walks away. leaving her standing there…
flawed.
alone.
naked.
confident.
she loves….

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz….. She smacks her alarm clock. Brand new day…

Is this an overly emotional woman, a faded character of a storybook or is that somewhat a brief description of what most of us feel? Even if you’re a man and reading this, you’re still capable of feeling this way. Just reverse the roles. Point is, there was only one thing correct about her. The fact that she failed. What she failed to realize is that her body is 96% water. Like the ocean, she’s a mystery that curves with each breeze. Depending on it’s environment, it’ll either be cold, warm or hot. And just like an ocean, only a few will have the map to the treasure buried at the bottom. The deeper you’re willing to go within yourself, the more valuable your treasure will be. Never allow anyone or anything to limit your mind, creativity & charisma because of your race, color, gender or expression of beauty. There is only one power & one presence operating our lives and that’s the mind. It draws business prospects, friends and significant others. Nothing else is suppose to lure that sort of attraction. Our minds gives us all that we deserve based on our way of thinking, way of presenting ourself and way of exceeding the limits. No sweat. No fear. Don’t hold your breath because he left. Who you choose to be with reflects what you really feel about yourself. Loving, wanting or being with someone has nothing to do with their exterior decoration. Nor does it have to do with being “perfect”. No one’s perfect. And neither is a relationship. In order to find that perfect somebody, we must believe that whatever perfect is, we’ve already achieved it. No one can give us what we don’t already have. If your boss can’t recognize that you’re worth more then $15 an hour, demand a raise. Don’t settle for less. If your peers believe you’re a fake or a phony because you choose not to explain yourself to them about the things their envious about, keep it moving. Don’t answer to anyone but God. If he decides to get angry and leave because you weren’t ready to spread your legs for him, oh fucking well. Don’t give anyone a piece of your soul unless they earned it. Each of us brings to the world unique talents, gifts and abilities. Even if you don’t know what it is, or value what you do, someone, somewhere, will benefit from your presence. There’s no one like you. We are each as unique and valuable as the other. You have something valuable to invest towards your career, your peers and your significant other. Recognize that, go to sleep and wake up beginning a brand new life saying this next statement : I give nothing or anyone any power over me but the love I have for myself.

originally written : January 6, 2008

Notice that these women either have a scowl on their face or an attitude. You’re either unaware of their body type or it’s evident that they are slightly overweight. They all have hair that you cannot come through, nor is it past the shoulders. Why are we perceived that way as if we’re just a bunch of grumpy frumpy nappy intolerable people to deal with? Why when we’re showing joy, it has to be expressed in an exaggerating way. So if we’re not parading around with a damn attitude, we’re being loud and obnoxious. Why can’t we be conditioned to see all different types of black women? Embracing different styles of clothing, hair and body types? When I see white women in commercials, they’re running through fields of purple flowers, hair flowing in the wind, falling into the arms of a happy man. When I see black women in commercials, they’re in the kitchen, with 2 mulatto kids, no father present, complaining about something. And if there is a father around, he has this look of discomfort on his face. Or probably has an attitude too. Most of all, where are the pretty ones? I am quite positive that there are a lot of nice looking black women trying out for commercials so why are the unattractive ones, stuck in this stereotypical Afrocentric look, being chosen? Where are these women for the commercials?:

As you can see, we come in all shapes, sizes, skin tone and beauty. Now, I’m not saying this is in EVERY commercial I see where a black woman is present. But I can safely say at least 80% of them this is occurring. I’m not sure the reason for it, or how to change it. But I am certain that they need to wake up and open their eyes because times have changed. We’re all not nappy anymore. We can afford to keep our hair looking right. We’re all not frumpy anymore. We just have big butts and breasts (naturally!). We’re more in the office, being the backbone of a business and less in the kitchen with the mami apron on. We all don’t twist our necks when we’re voicing our opinion nor are we walking around with a scowl on our face. We don’t have a chip on our shoulders nor are we always at war with our men. This reminds me of the early 70′s where the only reason a black woman was casted for a role in the movie she was either a maid or a hooker.

Sidetrack: Weaves. There’s this sort of taboo about weaves and that’s also being associated with black women as well. As if we’re so “fake” and are “frauds” just because we have a weave. Ummmm, white women wear weaves also, JUST as much as black women. The reason why we don’t notice or can’t tell is because of the obvious. White women hair grows longer faster and the hair weaves match their hair texture better. We’re so conditioned to seeing black women with short hair, no one can fathom the thought that if her hair is 18 inches long, it’s real. They immediately cancel her out and say it’s a weave. Also, just because we have a weave, does not mean we’re bald. My real hair is past the back of my neck. The reason why most women (black & white) wears a weave is because they like to change hairstyles in a drastic way without actually damaging their real hair. Most of these hairstyles cannot be achieved with the hair we have.

If you’re of another race reading this, feel free to agree right along with me by letting me know how YOU feel about the way black women are projected in the media (if you even noticed it at all?). I try to look at it in a different perspective and analyzed how other races are portrayed in commercials and to be honest, I’m noticing other stereotypes as well. Except with the white actors/actresses. I’m sure if a white woman was watching BET and if most of the commercials portray white woman talking like a Valley Girl (ie: “LIKE, OH MY GAWD!”) she would feel the same way too. And if you disagree, I would love for you to tell me why also. I would like for this topic to be an open forum for any race to express the type of stereotypes you’ve experienced & endured as we walk through the means streets of society. Whether you’re black, white, hispanic, asian, indian and etc. I’m sure people are tired of white being associated with racism, black being associated with unattractive, hispanic being associated with labor work, asian being associated with Chinese food or nails, and indian being associated with a cab driver or terrorist.