I’ve never been a victim of domestic violence, but I can imagine how hard is it for a woman to leave the situation. To be honest with you, I’m unable to advise you a way to leave if you’re caught up in a physically abusive relationship. These are dangerous situations and the best answers you can get are either from a counselor or a police officer. Personally, I would leave that man alone from the first moment he hit me. Fortunately enough for me (and him) I’ve never been hit by a man before. I can’t just imagine the consequences he would have been faced with it from my friends & family if they ever seen me with a black eye, caused by some dude. Here is a letter that Karrine “Superhead” Steffans wrote recently in reference to her current situation:
I’ve been a victim of abuse all my life –– literally, for as long as I can remember. It is my norm. Whereas most people would run in the other direction the moment someone physically, emotionally, or mentally abuses them –– I stay.
It’s a sickness and just when I think I am cured, the cancer spreads.
For the past several years, I have been involved in a highly abusive relationship. I have been choked, whipped with belts, thrown about, berated, belittled, raped, and disregarded as a human being. I have been abandoned and embarrassed, then, loved and coddled.
I have been caught in a vicious cycle and have left on many occasions, just to return.
I have found little support from my friends and family because I complain, and I cry, then I go back for more. I go back knowing that, one day, he’ll kill me but he’s all I have. He’s the only one who understands because he’s stuck in this cycle, too.
When I try to confide in friends they ask, “Well, what did you do to him? What did you say to him?” They tell me, “You know how he is, he’s never going to change, so why do you stay? You know what you’re getting into. Don’t tell anyone because he’ll come out looking good and you’ll only make yourself look bad.” It’s always my fault.
No one understands – not even me.
So, I keep it all to myself and it continues. Then, we make up and vow it will never happen again –– then it does and I feel so foolish for ever believing he can change or that we can change. Then, I begin to believe again. I believe even now.
I love him though it pains me to admit. It sickens me to know that I will return to him in an instant and that the next time could be the last time and that breath, my last breath. Still, I hold out hope that one day we’ll learn how to love one another without pain. I pray that those who look on with smirks and judgments know one thing –– domestic violence is very real and, at times, very final.
Now, while people want to judge her and suspect that this is a “publicity stunt” being that she has another book coming out, you may never know that this letter may help another woman who’s in dire need of some help.
If you, or someone you know, has been a victim of domestic violence, please contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at (800) 799-7233.