Invent

marrying for love.


What ever happened to “til death do us part”? Not til divorce do us part. So many people are getting married, then divorced, nowadays like it’s the new trend. I’ve watched others go through a horrible marriage all because they thought the person they married was “the right one for them”. Or “we’re having a baby so why not”. Or the played out excuse = “we’ve been through so much together”. Wrong. My car and I been through a lot together. My gold pumps and I been through a lot together. You have to battle yourself with these dilemmas to be certain that you are making the right decision. Sometimes God throws a giant monkey wrench into our relationships to show us that this is not the one for you. He does it to me all the time. Ironically, that’s the only way I can give up someone I care about.

With that being said, why are you signing a prenuptial agreement? I think that’s the most ridiculous thing to ever agree to. You’re pretty much stating that you both are planning for your marriage & divorce at the same time. And in the most utmost selfish way. The word “pre-nup” taints marriages. If you have to think twice about marriage, there is no reason to get married. How would you feel if you helped someone build their empire, support it for 10 years and have to walk away from it all with nothing just because they don’t want you anymore? That’s why before you decide to marry someone, you need to know that you are able to commit to that person for the remainder of your life. If you feel that insecure/negative about the woman you choose to marry, then you have no business marrying her. Marriage is about supporting each other for the rest of your life. Therefore, if you end that marriage before death, you are still owed that support.

A lot of guys seem to be in the habit of “dating” for long periods of time (2-5 years) then suddenly deciding they do not want to marry “you” or be with “you” anymore. I don’t understand why people will waste that much time in a relationship just to have a companion. Ideally, I think you should know after 2 years if you want to marry someone or not. Kyle & I have been living together for almost a year now and we already know that we’re going to be together forever. There’s no doubt in my mind how that man feels about me because he tells me all the time. A couple that’s been together for at at least 2 years should know whether or not they’re going to be together for the rest of their life. Especially if you’re over the age of 25. At this point, you should know who you are, what you want and the type of mate you want to be with. Indeed, it’s very hard to look into someone eyes and just know for a fact that they’re the perfect match for you. That genuinely, they are the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. That your souls are bonded together. However, it shouldn’t take 5 years to realize such. It shouldn’t take 3 kids and living together for 8 years to figure it out.

People throw the term “soul mate” around very loosely. Calling someone your soul mate is just as strong as telling them you’re in love with them. May be even stronger than love. Can you see yourself marrying that person? Sharing all of yourself with this person? Bearing their children? Accepting all of their flaws & embracing them as unique gifts without penalizing them about it? If not, then they are not your soul mate. With the divorce rate spilling over 50% in America, it’s time that we stop, look & listen to our minds & hearts before making such hasty decisions. The only person we should marry is someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with. Not for financial advancements or because you feel this person is your last resort.

5 Responses to marrying for love.

  1. By Kia, February 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    sooooo true if only more people had the common sense that this post speaks!

  2. By Chellan, February 27, 2011 at 5:27 pm

    I love this post. Woww. I’m bookmarking it so I can have this for future reference. I need to let a few of my homegirls read it!

  3. By Mimi, March 4, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    I share these same sentiments about marriage. People are getting married for ALL of the wrong reasons and that’s why marriages aren’t working. How can you expect it to work when the foundation is practically nothing? Who cares that you’re having a child. A child cannot keep you together. Who cares that you’re almost 35 and unmarried and this person will have to do? Uh, no… when you marry for love, TRUE unconditional love, you’re marrying for the right reason.

  4. By Angel, March 7, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    Actually just got done posting something about this on Facebook.

    It’s ridiculous how many people jump into marriage so soon without thinking.

    I just don’t get it.

  5. By Rathy, March 10, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    Years ago I let myself believe that having been together for over 6 years meant that marriage was the next step. Mind you, this was when I was 20-26yrs old, so I was still young. And having family members pressure me into thinking that we should get married also didn’t help. The relationship ended badly, but I knew I had to get out of it because I didn’t feel like I could be happy in the end like I thought. And being married would not change anything for the better. I’m happy where I am now even though I’m older and had to start a new relationship; I’m engaged to someone I can imagine being with. And we also both knew even before our 2 years that we wanted to be together forever. I agree, don’t marry for the wrong reasons.

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