My first online experience began back in 2001. I was 22 years old. It took me 6 months before I posted one picture of myself. I remember back then, it was considered dangerous to meet anyone from the internet. And if you did, it was stamped “taboo” to say that you met your new boyfriend online. You end up telling people you met him at the gas station, in the bathroom stall or through a “mutual” friend and you guys been getting to know each other for 4 months but you felt like not telling anyone about THIS one. My excuse was always the oh-so clever “We were in the Army together!” or “I dated him back in New York” and it worked all the time. Now here we are, 2009, and people are meeting each other more on the internet, than at the local supermarket. It’s becoming socially acceptable to admit that you met your partner on Myspace. Isn’t that something? People used to make fun of you if you said you actually dated someone from the internet. So what made everyone change their minds all of a sudden? Is it because more people are doing it? I find it so amazing how things become more acceptable just because of popularity. I, for one, enjoy dating men from online. It’s a completely different experience from when you date one that you’ve met at a social event. I have fun comparing the differences. I’ve noticed, that you’re able to grow a stronger emotional bond with someone from online because you’re more focused on conversations and getting to really know who they are. Without being distracted by their physical representation. But there’s a catch. They can lie easily about who they are and where they come from. When you meet someone offline, the first thing you’re focused on is the physical chemistry. Which may derail or impair your judgment and allow you to rush into things sooner than you expected. I can say though, if you’re lazy & cheap, online dating is the way to go, lol. Nowadays, I rarely hear someone say they met their mate OFFLINE. It was always because of an online venue. Some people are even still using BlackPlanet! Can you believe that? That old dried up site that’s filled with bumpy dick perverts. ilk. “I met her offline” is a phrase you rarely hear. Needless to say, the online experience for people is faithfully growing larger each and everyday. Ask that big lipped bitch Soulja Boy.
2009. Can’t really say I have any New Year resolutions because the major changes I wanted to change in my life occurred during 2008. No matter how much you’ve aged and grown, we know there’s always room for improvement. But never wait until Monday, the 1st of the month, or the New Year to make those changes. All you have to do is sit down and have a heart to heart with yourself as soon as you realize the imbalance in your life. Start by meditating, get into deep thought and really examine your life; meaning your current living situation, past relationships, revolving emotions & the people that are involved in your immediate circle. Does everything balances out the way you want it to be? If not then maybe you do need to make a few decisions and try to work things out. Use your resolutions as a guideline and not too much as a list filled of pressures. Always remember though, most likely you’re fine just the way you are. All you’re doing is perfecting your flaws & tuning up the kinks because that’s what makes you unique. It’s never too late to bask in your own imperfections you feel me? May sound like I’m contradicting myself but that’s just my way of balancing out the negative with some positive aspects.
Nevertheless…the new year has begun. Time for something refreshing. Immaculate. Vibrant. Different. Growth. When it’s time for us to grow, we get restless. When it’s time for us to move forward, we get tense. When the time comes for us to let go of the things we know are holding us back, we fall apart. Unfortunately, sometimes we misunderstand what we are feeling and use it as a reason to stay where we are. Funny how no matter what we do or change in our daily life, somehow we still find ourselves in painful situations. Nothing forces us to move faster than pain. We will deal with certain negativity with humbleness but as soon as that line is crossed…what happens? We become hurt, then we bail. But why wait until we are bruised to finally let go? We seen it coming. Yet we wait until it’s too late. So when do we turn our backs so we won’t become hurt again? When everything starts to fall apart. That’s the ultimate sign that pain is on the way. Funny how we wait until then to finally make a difference & to make ourselves feel better though huh. Then we commence to trying our typical remedies to overcome what just happened. However, if the old remedy doesn’t work, try something new. Too many times we’ve cut ourselves down to fit or suit into the situation. There’s no reason to compromise yourself. Fixing ourselves to stay where we are is the very source of our enduring pain. If we allow ourselves to live with a constant dull headache, it means we are not getting the message. But you can be sure that same exact dull headache will eventually turn into a throbbing migraine. Catch it before it gets to that point.
Life isn’t about standing in one spot, moving at one pace. We’re all growing & learning every moment of every day. Regardless of what you have been told, you can & do change with every new experience. Each experience enhances your capabilities by giving you something new to draw upon. With that said, why on earth would we want to live a life where everything remains the same each day? Every new capability you discover during your experiences, develop and leads to a new opportunity. Why even dare to limit yourself to only knowing or doing one thing? Take a chance by putting all you know to use. Don’t be cliche by making a New Year’s resolution. Don’t promise yourself you will lose weight. Don’t swear that you will stop smoking. Don’t force yourself to change for the “better”. Simply just move toward your wildest dreams, with grace & ease, and take the labels off your mind. Step boldly into your greatness with that same potential you have used to get you where you are today. Here.
One of my purposes in life is to make people realize they are more than what they believe they are or deserve. To show them that it is possible to move people with your words, creativity and inspiration. All I want is people to get in touch with how they feel and how they affect others. Treat people how you want to be treated. Logic is the purest form of thought, thought is one of our greatest gifts, and it was intended to be used. I used it to touch each and every one of you. You all are affected now, in some way, by my confessions. Confessions of life, love & self-growth. And I’m in the process of doing it professionally with my degree in Psychology. It’s going to take a few years but I prefer to do it than to live through my life and not doing it at all. My dream was to always reach out to those who have no one else to turn to. To help women through their self-esteem issues. To guide men into understanding how to open up and love. To aide couples in bettering their relationships. Therefore, do not ask me to begin my journey towards my wildest dreams. I already have.
Happy New Year!
LMAO, yeah right!
By Sharonda, January 1, 2009 at 2:56 pm
But never wait until Monday, the 1st of the month, or the New Year to make those changes. All you have to do is sit down and have a heart to heart with yourself as soon as you realize the imbalance in your life.
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That is so true!I mentioned that in my note on Facebook.Everybody kept saying “A Different Me in 2009″ and makes me think what was different in 08?And if someone really wants to change they wouldn’t wait to the first.I stop making resolutions and go with the flow.If I needed a change I would know.Truer words have never been spoken.
By Crystal, January 1, 2009 at 4:46 pm
I met a couple guys from the internet back when I was like 18 but thy never turned into relationships. That is funny how things become more acceptable because of popularity.
Happy New Year! :-)
By Irene, January 1, 2009 at 7:02 pm
It’s almost disheartening that people are interacting less and less face-to-face. I’m sure it’s easier and less time-consuming to meet people online but it still feels odd to me. I met my husband through a mutual friend IN PERSON, which these days seems like such a rare occurrence. I’m sure that the more we depend on things like the internet and texting that eventually we’ll be able to conduct whole relationships without spending anytime in the same room with that person. *lol*
By Kaylee, January 1, 2009 at 10:44 pm
I think more people are using the internet in general, and that’s why online dating has become more popular and accepted.
I agree that you shouldn’t wait for a particular day to make a change.
By lovy, January 1, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Happy New Year & Happy New You Beautiful!
:blog22:
By exene, January 2, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Many of my female relatives look for men online and get married. I think their reasoning is more financial and the whole mail order bride and live in the United States thing. Not for me.
Great advice, I don’t like seeing people grounded to one thing unless they really enjoy it.
By Tiffany, January 3, 2009 at 3:34 am
Right? internet just took over the world. LMAO @ blackplanet, thats soooo 2002.. like always you write awesome blogs! HAPPY NEW YR!!!!!!!!!
By Jenny, January 3, 2009 at 5:26 am
My mom does it. Only for fun though. :bloguuu:
By chanel, January 5, 2009 at 1:48 pm
LMAO. why that’s so funny to me? :blogg4v:
By Jenny, January 5, 2009 at 3:28 pm
How fun we used to have messing with strangers… :blogee:
By Katy, January 3, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Happy new year Chanel!!
Yeah I remember when meeting someone online was considered a taboo and I’m actually glad it’s more widely accepted now. I think the internet is a great means of communication and is actually easier to meet someone online than in real life. I remember back in 2001-2005, I’d meet guys offline but our relationship actually started online because we’d use instant messaging to talk to each other most of the time.
By Ivy, January 4, 2009 at 3:53 am
Happy New Year Chanel!
Call me old fashioned, but I still don’t think I can accept meeting men online. I think the ‘spark’ you get from the initial meeting is far too important in deciding whether I like a guy or not. And of course, that ‘spark’ is completely impossible online…. well, at least until someone invents like a hologram chat or something. :P
By Tiana Chanell, January 4, 2009 at 2:23 pm
:blogee: You are very right about the internet dating. I’m having trouble myself with meeting a half decent guy and my married younger sister came up to me and was like “My neighbors met on match.com. You should give it a try”. I did give it a try and went on a date with this guy (which didn’t work out) and when I was telling people about it and they asked where I met him – I was very hesitant to tell them where because people do still look at it as a taboo.
Hope you have a happy and blessed new year!
By Aleida, January 5, 2009 at 10:06 am
Happy New Year! Yeah I met a great friend through the internet and later met him offline too. Getting to know people through the internet is so easy it’s addictive. With ‘easy’ I meant to say you can actually hookup with people with similar interests and really get a conversation going instead of wasting time on chatting in a bar to people that are so boring.
Ivy wrote about a ‘spark’ you can have with someone you meet and want to get to know. I think that ‘spark’ is purely physical attraction. In the end I want to be with someone who stimulates my brain when I’m old and wrinkled.
Oh my I actually had an account on Blackplanet too very very long ago ~
By Shannon, January 5, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Lord knows a lot of people have done the internet dating thing. People hate to admit it, though. It’s not really a bad thing, in fact, I’ve met some pretty cool people from the internet who I am still friends with today. People have too much pride and get caught up in worrying about what other people will think about them if they admit they’ve met their mate from the internet.
By tiff, January 6, 2009 at 2:08 am
Funny, I prefer dating my guys from the internet as well.
It’s great! A while ago, I use to be totally ashamed of getting dates online, but now, it’s practically universal.
OkCupid.com is the site that I usually goto. It’s free, and it’s full of interesting people (as well as creeps, we can’t avoid em!) there.
By Keanna, January 6, 2009 at 9:31 am
i-net dating smh… I remember blackplanet and all the guys always sending random messages like ma your cute blah blah can we cook up, crap like that. The car club that I’m in is from off the internet BUT that’s totally different from dating! My ex is from myspace BUT it wasn’t like we hadn’t met before, we went to middle school together and went to the same college coincidently lol. You ALWAYS have the best blogs.. I don’t comment, but NOW is a new year and I’m commenting hahahaaaaaa :smile: Deuces Sweety
By chanel, January 6, 2009 at 1:33 pm
I don’t bite darling, comment as much as you like. :bloguuu:
By lovy, January 6, 2009 at 9:52 pm
love the new look!
By Nicolah, January 7, 2009 at 2:16 am
I’ve never really dated a guy online before. I’ve met a couple but nothing ever happened. I met my husband offline as well.
By Miss Dre, January 7, 2009 at 8:46 am
Meeting people online is fun, I think. I have dated two guys who I’ve talked to online. Nothing romantic happened, though, we just became friends, which is okay :) Happy New Year!
By Jasmine, January 7, 2009 at 5:45 pm
I start using the internet around 2001 and you’re right talking to the opposite sex online was ridiculous in most people’s mind. I’ve met a lot of cool people online and even tried the relationship thing. I agree take away the lies and fake pics and meeting someone online is an advantage .
Happy 2009 !
By Nile, January 7, 2009 at 6:03 pm
I agree, it is amazing the trends in ‘courting’/ dating. I think some people just have a hard time finding people where they live and the internet makes it a lot easier. There are indeed risks, but any relationship no matter how it is acquired is also a risk.
My only concern is how places like eharmony and chemistry have over 20K visitors join a day. It does not make any sense. I joined eharmony one time. I was not impressed. They constantly spam you if you did not sign up to pay and on top of that it is like teasing… if you are interested in any one of the 10 first matches you get, you have to be a paid subscriber when they were ‘free’.
By Kay, January 7, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Actually…the guy I’m dating I met off the interent. That’s what my next blog will be about. The 1st guy and only guy I EVER fell in love with, I met on blackplanet. It was so unexpected. Barely sign on there, and I had a note. I gave him my Y!. After a few weeks passed…I was ready to delete him. He IM’ed me for the 1st time and from then on, we were always talking. Another few weeks, he had my #. Then after that, we had a date. Since the 1st date…we fell in love and still in love 3 years later. We broke up a while back but we still are friends. We still admit our love for each other. It’s amazing how things worked out for the both of us. After that, I really wasn’t afraid of the internet. But I was careful of who I speak to. I wasn’t looking for anyone. Things just happen. I never like admitting things to anyone because they always gave you that “you betta be careful, how could be a rapiast”. I know their just looking out for my well being.