heart is filled with pastel colors and the delusional idea that everyone lives happily ever after. A girl can always dream. A woman makes her dreams come true.
If I didn’t make it clear before, then I’m going to make it clear now. I have no tolerance for people who want to half ass their way into my life. Nor my heart. It’s very disheartening when you give someone the chance of a lifetime, then they go screw it all up with one word. One action. Or even no action at all. You can’t sit there and tell me that you’ve “changed” when your actions and intentions are a mirror reflection of how you were when I first met you.
I once was confused beyond natural belief and I had no clue what to do about a particular person in my life and our situation. The anger I had built up scared me. That anger became buried in my own emotional battles and I forgot about it. Years later, I rationalized I became forgiving. But just when you thought it was safe, I was disappointed again. Now, I can feel the frustration, anger and resentment that I had for that individual trying to reappear once again. However, my lack of interest in their actions started disappearing. It’s amazing how relieved you feel when you start to care much less than before. The one thing that keeps me faithful is the fact that karma is a bitch. Not for nothing, I wish things can be different and I have put all of my pride aside to make things better. But if you’re unable to meet me in the middle, nor even showing me that you are even giving a fuck, I wash my hands off of you faster than I switch my weaves. I forgave you. Over and over again. I let you back in. I had faith in you. I prayed for you. Now I gave up on you and have released you from my heart. The best thing is, I don’t even need you. You thought I did. You thought we did. Nevertheless, you thought wrong.
I’m tired of people claiming they can’t change. How many times have you heard someone say, “That’s just the way I am”, or “I can’t change”. How about, “This is me, take it or leave it.” Oh, how we fight soooo hard to hold on to what limits us. Don’t we realize, if our way worked, it would be working? Can’t we see that holding on to what “I am” keeps us from realizing who we really are? It is natural to resist change. Shit, I’ve resisted it plenty of times. But it is insane to fight against it. For some reason we believe if we have to change, there must be something wrong with the way we are. The issue is not right or wrong. The issue is working or not working. Everything must change. The best can always get better. When we make minor adjustments as we see they are needed, we save time and the expense of a major overhaul.
I’m an avid believer in karma. That’s why I close my eyes at the thought of revenge. I walk away from drama and potential issues because frankly, I don’t have the energy nor the time to entertain it. If something or someone is creating an uncomfortable environment in your life, guess what?…you can stop it. The life you have belongs to you only. So don’t depend on the next individual to make that change for you. To make things better for you. To help you. To nurture you. To provide for you. To love you. You must first do these for yourself from within. Muster the courage and the strength to stop it all. Pause for a minute and listen to what you are telling yourself. Heal from the lies you’ve told yourself and the ones that have been told to you. You can make it on your own. You can find peace and happiness out of being alone. You can make a million dollars by investing one penny into something you truly love & have passion for. With all these great things you can do for yourself on our own, why would you allow stress to bring you down? Everyone gets stressed out. Some cases it’s worse than yours. While you sit there and worry about how you’re going to pay the rent this month, there is someone else just like you who is wondering how are they going to survive living in the streets this summer. Be grateful for what you have, what you have earned & for survivng through it all to still be alive today to speak upon it. While you think your current life may not be luxurious, serene & admirable, someone else is out there just wishing they could change places with you.
I’ll be damned if I allow a parasite lower my property value.
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I have almost zero tolerance for people who ultimately have nothing to offer me on a mental/emotional/spiritual level. I simply don’t have the patience and I love my life to be drama free and not full of useless nobodies. I hate when people say they’re going to change. I like to see action and I always tell people not to use that word change with me unless they plan on implementing it.
I think that certain things about people is what makes them who they are. Sometimes change isn’t needed, especially if one person is complaining about something so minor. However, most of the time, that one trait is what everyone else is complaining about in regards to that person and that’s when change is needed.
I’ve had to learn the hard way over the last couple of years that I can’t let people hold me back anymore, family included. I was always putting other people before myself or dealing with other people’s bullshit when I really didn’t have to. It was the kindheartedness in me that was holding me back the most. While I can still be kindhearted, I have to look out for me too.
speechless!!!
that was well put!
Agreed! I couldn’t have said it better myself.. Although I do need to take some of that advice for myself..
omg that was brilliant
“The life you have belongs to you only. So don’t depend on the next individual to make that change for you. To make things better for you. To help you. To nurture you. To provide for you. To love you. You must first do these for yourself from within”
I loved that part. Its a shame people don’t realize how much power they really have. Only we can make ourselves happy. I love your writings, please read my blog when you get the chance. Malika x
i can dig it. sad that some people consciously choose to remain in suspended in infancy. They dont want to grow up, they want to be the toys r us kids. Afraid of being responsibile, afraid of being accountable. Evolution is essential to growth and if a person rejects it, they are going against the grain of nature. Which probably attests to the regression of our society.
profoundly written cheekz
That was just…..well…i can’t really find the words to say.
That was exactly what I was thinking about when I woke up this morning. Moving on from this current situation and not focusing on the possibilities of the next…just dealing with and going through what I am now.
I tell you girl…you ALWAYS seem to be feeling what I’m feeling when I come here and read your post. Are we long lost twins of the earth????
like T.D. Jakes said, “You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it.”
this is exactly where i was going with my last post.
~A~
As you age, you learn what stuff really matters. I know I have. People seem to take up less and less space on that “stuff that matters” list.
Hmph.
Funny right?
I honestly don’t think there is anything that pisses me off more than somebody who claims to love spout off about “this is just how I am” or “you knew I was this way when we first met.” Bullshit! Somebody should be willing to climb any mountain or swim the entire Atlantic fucking Ocean for love. Just something else to throw on the pile of relationship frustrations.
I absolutely agree with you! This post is amazing. I hate people who say, “Well I/he/she can’t change, it’s they way I am/they are”. It’s even more annoying when people keep saying they will change and do nothing.
It’s a load of rubbish, if you really want to and can put in the effort then yes, you can change! You just have to have the motivation and really want it deep down inside. Be if for love/family/the best for you etc, if you want to change then you can.
I’ve changed. People are suppose to change and I know I have said “that’s just who I am” and etc but I take it back. I change. I have changed. Guys are dickheads. :ughhh: They make me sick but I love em and keep moving.
I’ve found a lot of the times, people get themselves into these situations where even if they want to change they dont know how… or maybe thats just what i want them to be going through. But your absolutely right if no one ever needed to change then everyone’s life must be running really smoothly.. and clearly in this day and age thats just not the case. Being put into those situations where you try and make it work so someone can stay in your life and your giving 80 percent while they give 20, makes me wanna cry. But what can you really do?… besides pray for and love them.
I swear I think you can read my mind sometimes! This was an excellent post! I recently was told by someone that they can’t change and was given the age old “love it or hate it” quote. So I chose to remove that person from my life because I found my self trying to change to appease that person, which made me unhappy and unfulfilled. I’ve invested too much time in the past for people who could not contribute a damn thing to me or my well-being and its just not tolerable anymore. Thanks for putting things in perspective!