No matter how many people wish I didn’t have so many talents that make me the person that I am today, they will never dim my light that shines from within.

If you’re insecure or have low self-esteem, keep rehearsing that in your mind. Like I’ve stated before, what you may find “wrong” within yourself, there’s someone out there that will embrace that and love you for you. Never allow anyone or anything to limit your mind because of your race, color, gender expression, style of fashion, work experience, non-existent college degrees or body type. Take no shorts, cut down on the compromising and never settle for less. Believe in who we are and what we do. Look up to and trust ourselves to make it through the difficulties just knowing that we can. Only we can truly appreciate and celebrate our own success. Don’t do it for him, don’t do it for her. Don’t try to prove them wrong. Don’t worry about their negative opinion (unless it’s asked for). We’re all are equipped and capable of getting to where we want to be as long as we create a positive pattern of self-worth.

Continue to believe you’re the best because you are the best. And no one, I mean no one…. can tell you otherwise.

“False friends are like a shadow, they’re with you while you’re in the sunshine, but leave you the minute you cross into the shade.”

On the flip side, you ever thought about your friends? Where are they when you’re going through rough times? We all seem to think we “need” them right? Give them many chances after they fuck you over and what happens…they disappoint you all over again. Fuck em. You don’t need people like that in your life. Because need represents lack. It says we are in some way deprived, unable to provide for yourself. And we don’t need people like you. In many cases, just one friend is good enough. What we need are clothing, food, shelter and things which has an abundance. Bottom line is, stress comes and goes & real friends last a lifetime. Real friends listen to you. Real friends respect your feelings. Real friends support your decisions & have your back when the going gets tough. You’re going to come across all types of people in your life. Some may be there for years to come, and others only for a minute. It’s up to you whether or not certain people deserve to be a part of you.

Choose wisely.

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/Tiffyiffyiffy

This girl’s voice is so amazing. Watch all of her videos as she flips some of the most popular songs of our time into a harmonious acoustic version. I am truly impressed. Why is she not signed yet?!

Are you able to make the right long-term decisions instead of just living for today? I simple adore being embraced, appreciated & loved for the woman I am. And nothing’s better than being acknowledged of these things by your family, friends & significant other. But what do you do when it’s all coming from the right places at the wrong time? I’ve grown to notice that the most beautiful things happens at the most inconvenient times in our lives. It gets to the point where you have to pick, choose and then eliminate one of those inconveniences. We can think, speak and bring the best possible outcome into existence by focusing on where we’re going, not on where we think we are. Think about it…how far can you go living for today instead of catering to your future happiness? Best things happens to those who wait huh? I waited (for years) and everything is falling into place. Exactly where I want them to.

But what if you’re tired of waiting? What if you end up having faith into the number one thing you don’t believe in? They say everything happens for a reason right? Well maybe this time, you should go against the grain and just see what exactly is the reason why you continuously challenge yourself. Stop focusing on “what’s not there” & be grateful for what is.

Note to self: There’s nothing special about today. It’s not a Monday, nor is it my birthday. It’s not New Years, nor is this a resolution. If you want to make a change, start now.

“the more you are motivated by love, the more fearless and free your actions will be.”

We should never let someone tell us that we aren’t good enough, or that we have to change. When you love, you love hard. Unconditionally, without judgment. I put all of my energy in the people I love, and because of that, I won’t let anyone say I have to change.  I’m still open minded and I always look at things both ways, so if I was wrong, I’m the kind of person who admits it and tries to correct my mistakes. People can still take advantage out of you and “steal” all your loving energy though. You ever moved on from someone & felt drained? That is exactly what they have done. They sucked up all of your greatness & used it for themselves. That is something we need to learn: Do not give your love to just anyone. Only to the persons who are willing to give that love back. If you really think about, it shouldn’t be hard at all to love someone. Loving someone isn’t a task. Loving someone isn’t about changing for them. It’s about changing for the better. Love isn’t about holding yourself back. Loving someone is about growth. It’s about starting a new life with that person. For a future that you’ve always dream about.

For years I’ve heard that you shouldn’t LOOK for love. It’ll come to you. I’ve heard so many stories from my married friends that when they first fell in love, they weren’t looking for it. It just happened. I’ve never believed that because I’m a go-getter & what go-getters do, is go for what they want. Not sit around & wait for it. Well, I believe it now. As soon as I stopped looking, love found me. Someone has learned to love me for me. Not for who I was. Not for who he thinks I should be. And not for all the superficial reasons that we use to mask our intentions. He witnessed and reviewed all of my flaws and has embraced them. He took my life history as “my story” and not as my “endured pain”. When I look into his eyes, I see myself. When I think about our chemistry, I see danger. Our beings, together bring out a force so powerful, that just thinking about his touch gives me goose bumps. It’s that serious. If I thought I knew love before, I was wrong. These feelings that I feel now, are beyond explainable. There are no words for how this man makes me feel. He entered my life right at the most positive turning point I have ever made with my emotions and myself. When I put myself out there, he was actually drawn to my inner exposure and not towards the skin that you can see with your bare eyes. Did I love him from day one? Who knows. But from the moment that he became significant in my life, I knew that there was not one day I wanted to live without this man.

Difficulties? If you really think about, it shouldn’t be hard at all to love someone. Loving someone isn’t a task. Loving someone isn’t about changing for them. It’s about changing for the better. Love isn’t about holding yourself back. Loving someone is about growth. It’s about starting a new life with that person. For a future that you’ve always dreamt about. Just because a person doesn’t seem good now, they will be good later. It takes love to bring out the best in an individual.

My message to him: If you knew how I truly feel about you, would you run away, scared of the possible outcomes? Or would you embrace my emotions and share those that you feel for me too? Are we both able and capable to take that path towards invincible love? There are moments where I’m scared & then there are those magical times where I am positive that yours supersedes mine. As I stand in front of you, naked, baring my soul…are you channeling your eyes through my emotions or are you just staring in vain? Yes I know I’m fully clothed, but little do you know, I am still in the nude. While you admire my outer confidence, I’m at total bliss about my nervousness that comes from within. That feeling doesn’t come around too often. And when it does, I usually hide it. Guard it. Afraid that you will be the one to grab it and destroy every meaning it holds. But what if I don’t say anything, keep everything built up, and I miss my chance? An opportunity to finally keep my true love. My soul mate. Yes, I can finally admit that. You are my soul mate. I’m an avid believer in the saying “A closed mouth don’t get fed” but what if being humble is the best way to go? I don’t want to chase you away with these confessions but then again, I want you to be fully aware of what I am feeling inside. I’m just a little bit scared to allow you see through these walls.

Being honest is getting me nowhere. If you carry yourself like a lady & produce great conversation that doesn’t include baby father drama, girlfriend gossip or material things, and you’re STILL getting the shitty results from these men, it is YOU? This is a serious question. What’s so hard about giving a deserving woman what she wants? Because the last woman fucked you over?

“You’re so beautiful, down to earth & I love your sense of humor. I’m so attracted to you. Let’s just fuck.” – HUH?

“You have a great spirit & I love kicking it with you. You just seem so carefree & loyal. Suck my dick?” – WAIT…

“I had a wonderful time with you last night & I loved kissing you. Let’s not speak anymore.” – WHAT?

Wholesome women need to get together and beat the shit out of “one night stand” bitches. They making it hard for us. I’m not going to sit here & act like being single is all peaches & cream. IT IS NOT. It’s fun to have all these men desire you & have your options to date whomever you like. Definition: temporary satisfactions. But when every month it’s someone different, because the last mother fucker didn’t act right, reality starts to set in. Is sex REALLY that important? Is it REALLY that serious? In a relationship, it is. But not while you’re just dating. What’s with the haste? What’s with the deceit? Why not go get a ho, instead of trying to conquer the classy career woman. Words & actions NEVER made me fuck. If I fucked you it was because I simply wanted to. Not because of persuasion.

NOTE TO SELF: Stand your ground. Remain celibate. Never compromise morals. Express wants/needs. Don’t look back. Be you.

And don’t feel you’re better than me because you’re currently fucking a man, with no real status. Your shit stinks too. Don’t feel you can’t take advice from me just because I’m single. I’m the main one who can detect an “ain’t shit nigga”. The men/women who stay talking down on single women are usually in fucked up relationships. Jealous because they’re STUCK. When have you ever seen a genuinely happy person throw their relationship status up in your face? Those people talk shit to you because they want to feel better about themselves & their own depleted commitments. Being in a relationship, being engaged, or being married doesn’t make you an expert or validates your opinions. That’s ignorant & close-minded as hell to retrieve info from one resource. You can get advice from both ends of the spectrum. Single people can give you insight about VARIOUS others. Committed people can give you advice about their significant other. Point is, everything that you hear, is about people you’ve had no dealings with. You still have to come up with your own conclusion. She’s telling you what happened with HER husband. He’s telling you what happened with HIS wife. What worked for them, may not work with you.

I am ready for love. I’m not afraid to say that. And I will never back down from that. I am patient & know how to take my time. I want companionship. Someone I can be vulnerable with. I want to need him. I want to dependent on him. I want to satisfy him. If you don’t express these things, and admit your desires, you’ll never get what you want. A close mouth don’t get fed. And if he doesn’t want to feed you, then why should you go hungry while he feast on everything you have on your plate?

Judge me.

THREE TYPES OF WOMEN THAT MEN SHOULD AVOID

When it comes to relationships, women will spend a lifetime avoiding men until she finds Mr. Right. On the other hand, men will find Mrs. Right after spending a lifetime dating and sleeping with as many women as they can. In the process of finding the right one, people get involved in relationships that they had no business being part of in the first place. In a man’s case, they often get in those relationships because they are thinking with their eyes and penises. There are three types of women that men should avoid despite the apparent attraction.

The Never Single Girl
Here’s a girl who seems normal. She’s pretty, smart, has a great sense of humor and has all the intangibles that guys like. All her life she’s had a boyfriend. She barely knows what it’s like to be single. She just recently broke up with her boyfriend and now has her eyes set on you. It seems like an opportunity you don’t want to turn down. Turn it down my friend. This girl is needy. She needs the comfort of having a man. She’s an emotional train wreck waiting to happen and a “cling-on”. You have to call her all day & spend every single bit of free time with her. The wallpaper on her phone, the wallpaper on her laptop, her Twitter avatar & Facebook profile picture is of you two. It’s cute but that’s only after two weeks. It’s more than likely that she is insecure which can lead to jealousy. If a girl’s number pops up on your phone, you receive an “I miss you” tweet, smile at another woman or lord forbid hug someone too long, all hell will break loose. She can easily go from yielding a knife and wanting to kill you to crying in your arms. Then there’s the competition in her head. Because she gets into relationships so frequently, she will compare you to her last. Instead of you developing in this relationship at your pace, she may be expecting you to develop at his pace and you might not even know it. This girl may have the characteristics you like but don’t rush into it. Actually, don’t let her rush into it.

The Drunken Hot Girl
You can’t keep your eyes off of her. Her hair is long, her dress is short, her lips are glossy and she has the attention of every guy in the room. At the club, she dances on top of couches with a glass of champagne in her hand sometimes pulling her dress down. She has modeling pics but never really models. Her list of boyfriends look like the nominees for the Espy’s and MTV Music Awards. Somehow, you have her attention and she likes you. Run! If you’re famous or a “baller”, understand that she is into you for your fame and money. Nothing else. She wants to enjoy the perks of dating someone as famous as you are. Trips to award shows, great seats at the ball game, pictures of you two on blog sites, etc. She’ll never help you invest your money but will definitely show you how to blow $20,000 at Louis Vuitton. If you happen to be the average guy who gets with her, you are in for the ride of your life. Most likely, this girl doesn’t work and so she is dependent on you. She’s going to have a taste for the finer things. Birkin bags, Louboutin shoes & Mandalay dresses. You better believe that if she wants Italian, it’s going to be Scarpetta and not Olive Garden. Then there’s the joint bank account, which eventually, will turn one bum into two bums. Her lifestyle is rich in glitz & glamour. Is yours?

Ms. Super Independent
She is the perfect woman. She has it all together. She’s beautiful. She can cook and clean. She has her own house and car. She is smart. Graduated with her bachelor’s in 2 1/2 years and was able to garner 2 Master’s degrees. She’s now working on her PhD. She currently holds an executive position at her job. This is the woman you should be with, if you’re as or more successful than she is. If you’re not, don’t date her until you are. Why? Successful women are strong characters. They’ve worked all their life to be independent so that they don’t need you. Everything she does and everything she works for has to be top notch, including her man. If she happens to follow her emotional inclination and dates you because she likes your personality, problems may arise later. She’s going to feel the need to carry the relationship, making you feel less like a man. She’s going to do things for herself that you won’t be able to, once again, striking a blow to your ego. More than likely, powerful men who share similar drive, ambition, and success surround a woman of her stature. You might not measure up. Eventually, you might get looked down upon. If her friends are as successful, they may convince her to ditch you for a “better” man. For the most part, this is the woman you want but you should definitely get your life together before pursuing her.

Everyone has someone that fits his or her wants and needs. It’s about self evaluating and determining who you are, what you have and then figuring out what you want and need. Relationships today are beyond just romance. Couples today have to match up physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially. If you know who you are and know what you’re looking for, you will be able to choose from a select pool of people and increase your chances of finding the right person for you.