Love? What is the true definition? There are certain things above love that I have yet to figure out. The reasons why we love. When we love. And who we love. I’ve written many blogs in my time trying to figure out what is true love about & even tried to define it on my own. There were also many times where I knew for a fact that I have found the true love of my life, but never really didn’t. Isn’t that funny? How many times have you found yourself in a relationship saying that “this” is the person you’re going to be with forever? I can count about 3 people. Which just so happens to be the ones that ended up not deserving it. Or deserving me. They relentlessly tried to change me, or told me I was just not “good enough”. Used my past as a path in how to treat me. Used what I am about now towards the competition they’re having with themselves. Why did I stay as long as I did? I don’t know. I question my motives every now and then as to whyI did, but the only answer I can come up with is, I simply loved them. When I love, I love hard. I try my best to make a relationship work. I do all that I can and am capable of doing to be that “trophy wifey”. But, after awhile, I get exhausted. I always seem to get this epiphany that allows me to get up and move on with my life. Just like that. It’s because of all the energy and emotions I’ve placed into trying to make it work, resulting in all of my efforts going unappreciated. That alone, allows me to easily walk away…

Difficulties? If you really think about, it shouldn’t be hard at all to love someone. Loving someone isn’t a task. Loving someone isn’t about changing for them. It’s about changing for the better. Love isn’t about holding yourself back. Loving someone is about growth. It’s about starting a new life with that person. For a future that you’ve always dreamt about. Just because a person doesn’t seem good now, they will be good later. It takes love to bring out the best in an individual.

My message to him: If you knew how I truly feel about you, would you run away, scared of the possible outcomes? Or would you embrace my emotions and share those that you feel for me too? Are we both able and capable to take that path towards invincible love? There are moments where I’m scared & then there are those magical times where I am positive that yours supersedes mine. As I stand in front of you, naked, baring my soul…are you channeling your eyes through my emotions or are you just staring in vain? Yes I know I’m fully clothed, but little do you know, I am still in the nude. While you admire my outer confidence, I’m at total bliss about my nervousness that comes from within. That feeling doesn’t come around too often. And when it does, I usually hide it. Guard it. Afraid that you will be the one to grab it and destroy every meaning it holds. But what if I don’t say anything, keep everything built up, and I miss my chance? An opportunity to finally keep my true love. My soul mate. Yes, I can finally admit that. You are my soul mate. I’m an avid believer in the saying “A closed mouth don’t get fed” but what if being humble is the best way to go? I don’t want to chase you away with these confessions but then again, I want you to be fully aware of what I am feeling inside. I’m just a little bit scared to allow you see through these walls.

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