Thoughts | chanel.

“hiatus”.

November 6, 2010
1 Comment
internet, thoughts
blogs, nosey, Prozac

Personal bloggers¹ who shut down their whole site and claim they’re on “hiatus” confuse me. Why? Because the only thing you won’t be around to do is blog every other day. Everything else on your site remains the same. Why not leave your website open for viewers, like myself, to rifle through your archives to see if this is really just an attempt to create attention to yourself? So we can view your picture gallery of your freshly painted nails or the new phone you bought. So we can read that poem you wrote about terrorism. You know… so we can find that one particular blog post from 3 weeks ago stating how you hate your boyfriend, hate your job and how you have all of these problems you’re unable to handle. So then, I we, the visitor, can dissect what the real issue is? Truth be told, there’s no reason for a blog to go on hiatus. You can leave a little note at the end of your last blog to state that you won’t be updating for awhile. But to shut down your whole site is ludicrous. Leave your site open and accessible for little noseys like me who want to read your old blog entries from 2003.

¹ Regular people who use the internet to post their thoughts and get feedback from random strangers and their fellow ass kissers.

what cons?

How do you start feeling better about yourself? There have been times in your life where you haven’t been on the positive side of the fence. You just had to get over a couple of bumps in the road. There was a time where I used to feel that way. I was so worried about the negative events that occurred during that time, I pushed everything else in the back burner. Forgetting about all of the great positive things I’ve achieved along the way. I mean, why spend so much time dwelling on something you won’t ever be able to change? It’s out of our reach. That’s the thing about the past. It’s supposed to remain there. Untouched. Sometimes I have to fall back and really catch myself before I start to complain. When you complain, all you’re doing is not taken notice and being grateful for what we do have. We’re giving too much to dwell on what we lack. I believe once we appreciate the greatness we have, just by having life and being one of the people that He choose to wake up that morning, we will be granted more blessings. I have so much to be thankful for. I have my wonderful daughter, a growing relationship with my boyfriend, a home to come to that I can call mine, a great career, a nice car, my bills are paid and I have good health. Forget about the cons and concentrate on continuing the pros. I have new-found motivation to further my life down different paths and I can’t wait to continue this journey.

Start counting your blessings and be grateful for what you have. Things could be a lot worse. You’ve already experienced “worse” and look where you are today. Did you ever find the time to thank someone for it? Because the same person you asked to help you get out of that strife, most likely was the same person who provided the solution for you. So many people go through life believing they’re being cheated or the world owes them something. No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself because you chose & accepted what you receive. We create whatever we want in our lives. All you need is proper guidance and a perception to get there. You ever sit alone in your room and find yourself engulfed in a good book , or a good song, unplanned? That’s a perfect example of having a true peace of mind.

I feel so blessed & I am grateful for all that I have. How about you?

me, myself and i.

ask me anything. (this ought to be interesting)

Do you believe in knowing who you are & that you will remain that way forever? Just when you thought you had yourself all figured out, there’s always that one individual that sees you in a totally different perspective that you never viewed before. As they are expressing their opinion of you, to you….you’re either going to agree or disagree right? Well what if most times you find yourself agreeing? Does that mean you really don’t know yourself. All that you were projecting as your persona, was that all a facade? Or does it truly mean we haven’t really found ourselves? Even though all the answers are buried within you, it’s amazing how someone from the outside can sum you up in a matter of minutes. Teaching you how to handle yourself & the ways you can better your ways of self-expression. It’s amazing what you get once you allow yourself to receive.

Once you get through all of our own simplicities, you’ll always find out the root is very complex. Why? Because as we age, we’re learning. All of our experiences & the emotions we felt through them are all wrapped up in a box inside of our souls. Every time we find ourselves in a similar situation, we unwrap that box and dig deep for a better solution than the last. So no, I do not believe you will remain the same forever. It’s emotionally impossible. What is possible, however, is what spectrum of the rainbow you fall under more. The darks or the brights (better known as the positives or the negatives). Some people find themselves “stuck” in their negative ways to the point where the blame is on the whole world but their selves. Showing the inability to take responsibility for the roles they played in other people’s life. How it affected someone else. Did they learn anything from them? Most likely not. Other people take the positive road. Taking full hold of the things they learned and try to figure out how they can make things better next time around. Highlighting the key moments where full satisfaction was accomplished & what they can do to achieve that everlasting smile again.

Our past and our scars (whether they’re fresh or healed) is a reflection of what we believe about ourselves. Within every experience we have in our life, we always learn & grow from it. At least we’re supposed to. Thus, it furthers define who we are. Regardless of what you’ve been told, you can and is able to change with every new experience. Your ex cannot successfully tell you who you are and what you’re about. Because all they’re going by is how you were with them. Each experience enhances your capabilities by giving you something new to draw upon. Every new capability you discover & develop leads to a new opportunity. As long as you have these abilities, there will be endless possibilities for you to grow and learn something new.

So yes, you will find out something new about yourself as you encounter new people in your life. It’s part of the universal flow & the different roads we go through while we’re in route to our own self. It’s up to you to decide on one direction, not to get lost & sticking to it for the next time you need to get there.

bad habits.

I used to have a bad habit of allowing every new negative situation I face in life, sending me behind a brick wall. Ever noticed how long hard times seem to last & the good times fly by so quickly? It’s because we give the negative times most of our attention. What may seem bad today, can be a blessing tomorrow. Try to grasp the positive aspects of your experience. Challenges come so we can grow & be prepared for things we’re not equipped to handle now. My challenge was learning to forgive & learn to love again. Which I have. Just with love itself, not with anyone in particular. Before you can love someone else, you need to fall in love, with love, all over again.

I used to carry baggage from past relationships into new ones, when we all know that’s not healthy. People (especially the ones looking from the outside, in) usually tell you to “free yourself & start over”.

But how do you free yourself from that which is a part of you?
You don’t.

How do you start over when you don’t know where to begin?
You can’t.

However, you are able to unpack that baggage, lay out all the excess garbage and make room for something better. You take a look at all the pain, guilt & fear dead in it’s face & see what it is, for what it is: the past. Don’t hold everyone responsible for the things someone did to you yesterday. When you do that, you end up in a similiar relationship, an identical situation or with a broken heart. If and when we move beyond where we were, the past is unable to follow us. When you try to throw people out of our hearts & minds all you’re doing is building that brick wall.

Don’t give up on men because the ones in your past treated you like shit. Don’t give up on women because the ones in your past used you. Once you decide to let go and learn how to love again, love will find it’s way back into your life. Love is like shopping for that good pair of jeans. You keeping trying different styles on until you find that perfect pair.

In other news, I’m tired of hearing & reading about these females that think sleeping with a man is going to make him stay with you. No matter how many times you sleep with him, it’s not going to bring you guys closer to a commitment. Women need to get rid of this unrealistic expectation that “pussy” will get you somewhere in life. It doesn’t. All your pussy guarantees are temporary satisfactions. He will never wife you if you keep giving him the goods like you’re already his wife. That same man may front like he cares about you & tell you you’re his everything. Yet refuses to commit. He’ll blame it on his parents. On his ex. On his baby-mother. But in truth, all he’s doing is making mental notes of how you’re conducting yourself with him. You’re not respecting yourself. You’re not giving him any reason to take things to another level, if you’re giving him that “level” already. He’s not getting any motivation because you’re not withdrawing yourself. Why would a man commit to a woman that’s joining in with him on the demoralizing acts of love? (ie: He has a girlfriend/married, telling you he will never commit to you & etc). Nothing’s wrong with 2 single people having a sexual relationship, where you & the other party agrees it’s just that. But don’t expect nothing more than orgasms. Because that’s all you’re entitled to. You have no status, no expectations & no demands.

seduction.

October 6, 2009
2 Comments
thoughts

To seduce is empowerment. It feeds my ego & it derails your normal sense of judgment. I have the control now. I have persuaded you to do whatever I want. The enticing way I got you to let me in. In your mind. In your soul. In your heart. It was my seductive way of speaking. The seductive way I express my thoughts. And the seductive way I carry myself. You try to fight it and as I continue to overpower you with my seduction, you cannot resist. How does it feel? Invigorating isn’t it? I know. Because I`m the most alluring person you have ever met. I am considered royalty to you. The way I kiss & the way I make love never left your thoughts. My voice, my body, my touch…..is tattooed in your memory. Do you have any idea how phenomenal I am? You know what true seduction is about? It`s about who I’ve ignored with full control and intention yet they can’t seem to keep your eyes off of me. It`s about carrying inner desire or love, letting it grow, and spreading it. But most of all, it`s about using my life to touch or poison other people`s hearts in such a way that could have never occurred alone. Only I choose the way those hearts are affected, and those choices is what seduction’s all about. Each of us bring to the world unique talents, gifts and abilities. Even if I don’t know what it is, or value what I do, someone, somewhere will benefit from my presence. They will appreciate my style and they will adore my beauty. I am the epitome…of the art of seduction.

I dare you to disagree.

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“hiatus”.

what cons?

me, myself and i.

hush

2fingers

waiting

bad habits.

seduction.

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