When one door shuts, another one opens. – Author Unknown

This is how I feel about my life right now. Something happened recently that made me feel as though things were going to turn for the worse. Oddly, it didn’t. It should have, but it didn’t! Things only got better. New opportunities arose to expand my side hustle as a web designer, my health is at it’s best, and I’ve been losing weight (15lbs in less than 2 months). Kyle’s career is kicking off with this new opportunity for him working in Human Resources, and my weave has been behaving itself.

I say all of this because I’m bringing light to a situation that had the potential to ruin my life. I was backstabbed by my own “mentor”. I’m not going to try to figure out why it happened. That’s what I used to do. Stress myself out seeking for a reason why I was hurt, why was I lied to, why is this happening to me. You know the “oh woe is me” drama we place on ourselves when we get fucked over. All I can do is overcome the betrayal, and make sure that it doesn’t place a long standing negative effect in my life. And it didn’t. That betrayal actually helped me advance in so many ways. It opened doors for myself and for my family.

While a part of me is still kind of sore from what happened, the better part of me is ecstatic at the fact that my life is so much better now that I don’t have to deal with certain things anymore. I definitely was settling for less in my career, I was becoming more and more stressed out, and my health was deteriorating. i became a doormat and was losing myself in the process.

With all of that said, I am very thankful for that particular door closing on me. Without that, I wouldn’t have a peace of mind today.

Rest in peace to the innocent people that died on 9/11/01. I salute the ones who died and the ones that give their lives so we don’t have to sacrifice what we love.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

by Maya Angelou

¹ Regular people who use the internet to post their thoughts and get feedback from random strangers and their fellow ass kissers.

Start counting your blessings and be grateful for what you have. Things could be a lot worse. You’ve already experienced “worse” and look where you are today. Did you ever find the time to thank someone for it? Because the same person you asked to help you get out of that strife, most likely was the same person who provided the solution for you. So many people go through life believing they’re being cheated or the world owes them something. No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself because you chose & accepted what you receive. We create whatever we want in our lives. All you need is proper guidance and a perception to get there. You ever sit alone in your room and find yourself engulfed in a good book , or a good song, unplanned? That’s a perfect example of having a true peace of mind.

I feel so blessed & I am grateful for all that I have. How about you?



Do you believe in knowing who you are & that you will remain that way forever? Just when you thought you had yourself all figured out, there’s always that one individual that sees you in a totally different perspective that you never viewed before. As they are expressing their opinion of you, to you….you’re either going to agree or disagree right? Well what if most times you find yourself agreeing? Does that mean you really don’t know yourself. All that you were projecting as your persona, was that all a facade? Or does it truly mean we haven’t really found ourselves? Even though all the answers are buried within you, it’s amazing how someone from the outside can sum you up in a matter of minutes. Teaching you how to handle yourself & the ways you can better your ways of self-expression. It’s amazing what you get once you allow yourself to receive.

Once you get through all of our own simplicities, you’ll always find out the root is very complex. Why? Because as we age, we’re learning. All of our experiences & the emotions we felt through them are all wrapped up in a box inside of our souls. Every time we find ourselves in a similar situation, we unwrap that box and dig deep for a better solution than the last. So no, I do not believe you will remain the same forever. It’s emotionally impossible. What is possible, however, is what spectrum of the rainbow you fall under more. The darks or the brights (better known as the positives or the negatives). Some people find themselves “stuck” in their negative ways to the point where the blame is on the whole world but their selves. Showing the inability to take responsibility for the roles they played in other people’s life. How it affected someone else. Did they learn anything from them? Most likely not. Other people take the positive road. Taking full hold of the things they learned and try to figure out how they can make things better next time around. Highlighting the key moments where full satisfaction was accomplished & what they can do to achieve that everlasting smile again.

Our past and our scars (whether they’re fresh or healed) is a reflection of what we believe about ourselves. Within every experience we have in our life, we always learn & grow from it. At least we’re supposed to. Thus, it furthers define who we are. Regardless of what you’ve been told, you can and is able to change with every new experience. Your ex cannot successfully tell you who you are and what you’re about. Because all they’re going by is how you were with them. Each experience enhances your capabilities by giving you something new to draw upon. Every new capability you discover & develop leads to a new opportunity. As long as you have these abilities, there will be endless possibilities for you to grow and learn something new.

So yes, you will find out something new about yourself as you encounter new people in your life. It’s part of the universal flow & the different roads we go through while we’re in route to our own self. It’s up to you to decide on one direction, not to get lost & sticking to it for the next time you need to get there.

I used to carry baggage from past relationships into new ones, when we all know that’s not healthy. People (especially the ones looking from the outside, in) usually tell you to “free yourself & start over”.

But how do you free yourself from that which is a part of you?
You don’t.

How do you start over when you don’t know where to begin?
You can’t.

However, you are able to unpack that baggage, lay out all the excess garbage and make room for something better. You take a look at all the pain, guilt & fear dead in it’s face & see what it is, for what it is: the past. Don’t hold everyone responsible for the things someone did to you yesterday. When you do that, you end up in a similiar relationship, an identical situation or with a broken heart. If and when we move beyond where we were, the past is unable to follow us. When you try to throw people out of our hearts & minds all you’re doing is building that brick wall.

Don’t give up on men because the ones in your past treated you like shit. Don’t give up on women because the ones in your past used you. Once you decide to let go and learn how to love again, love will find it’s way back into your life. Love is like shopping for that good pair of jeans. You keeping trying different styles on until you find that perfect pair.

In other news, I’m tired of hearing & reading about these females that think sleeping with a man is going to make him stay with you. No matter how many times you sleep with him, it’s not going to bring you guys closer to a commitment. Women need to get rid of this unrealistic expectation that “pussy” will get you somewhere in life. It doesn’t. All your pussy guarantees are temporary satisfactions. He will never wife you if you keep giving him the goods like you’re already his wife. That same man may front like he cares about you & tell you you’re his everything. Yet refuses to commit. He’ll blame it on his parents. On his ex. On his baby-mother.  But in truth, all he’s doing is making mental notes of how you’re conducting yourself with him. You’re not respecting yourself. You’re not giving him any reason to take things to another level, if you’re giving him that “level” already. He’s not getting any motivation because you’re not withdrawing yourself. Why would a man commit to a woman that’s joining in with him on the demoralizing acts of love? (ie: He has a girlfriend/married, telling you he will never commit to you & etc). Nothing’s wrong with 2 single people having a sexual relationship, where you & the other party agrees it’s just that. But don’t expect nothing more than orgasms. Because that’s all you’re entitled to. You have no status, no expectations & no demands.

I dare you to disagree.

I have done a lot & have been through a lot to get to where I am today. And my journey doesn’t stop. What pisses me off the most are these grown ass men with high demands of women, when they are barely bringing half to the table. How is it that you’re in the club, flashing jewelry & “popping bottles” when you’re behind on child support? You require your woman to cook for you when you’re still living at home with your mother? Talking about “I’m just here to help her out.” Please. Help her out with what? Running up her food & electric bills? How dare you state that you want an “independent woman” when you’re sharing an apartment with someone else? I would completely understand if you were a single parent & you have full custody of your child. But most of these men has no children. What’s your excuse?

This doesn’t apply to everyone either. I am referring to the ones who are about 27 & older. Some may say over 25, but let’s be honest here. A lot of people spend a few years trying to find themselves & what they want out of life. Usually, we figure at out after we get through the “party years”, ages 21 through 25. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do with my life until I was 27 myself. But you best believe…even though some goals were not set, I didn’t have this high unrealistic standard set for the men in my life. I’m not going to demand a man to have his own place, if I didn’t have my own place. I’m not going to demand that a man have a degree, if I didn’t have my degree yet. Humble yourself. What can you bring to the table? Are you able to meet me in the middle?

One of the greatest downfalls people have is banking on the potential of someone else. We go through great lengths to understand what someone should do, could do, has the ability to do but is not doing. Expecting & assuming when you’re unable to fit the criteria yourself. It’s simply not fair. Take a look at yourself, see what you can offer, then make your “demands”. Especially if you’re blind to your own “shortcomings” that you demand so much from others.