Invent


catty.

Catty. Subtly cruel or malicious; spiteful. I swear at least 75% of the women today possess this unattractive trait. Why do women, adult established women at that, find themselves in strong competition with others? Why do they want to drown others in their bullshit of hate, jealousy and envy? They spend more time trying to convince people (especially men) how “ugly” or “stupid” an admired woman is more than trying to better themselves & produce more character & substance in their own lives. I sure you all know at least one woman that tries to find something negative in the next female. “Doesn’t she look great?” Catty Bitch #459 – “Yeah but she got a weave. Must be bald”. They always start with the “yeah but…”. Makes you just want to hock & spit across their forehead. This has such a great impact on me because it has happened to me before. For years by the same people. The flipside of it all is, I am 100% comfortable with giving another woman her props and leave it as that.  So one would think the reason why it’s happening to you is because you have done it before correct? Please. Bitches will be bitches and if they’re an insecure jealous bitch, and you’re an attractive successful popular woman, they will be your problem for a long time. Yes I know we all are not perfect, but that doesn’t make it okay to capitalize someone’s “flaw”. The reason why I placed the word flaw in quotations is because characteristics that we may find as flaws, the next person will adore it and embrace it as something unique. So again I ask, why concentrate and spend so much of your time to convince that person otherwise? Is your self-esteem that low where you just have to focus that negativity on someone who’s getting what you’ve yearned for so long?

Men, you are not exempt. You guys are worse now as well! Gossiping, sitting around talking shit about women all day long, trying to find a way to get back at their ex. What ever happened to playing basketball, video games, chillin at the bar, then going home to spend time with a nice woman? Instead, these grown ass men prefer to sit on Facebook or Twitter all day long & tweet about how much they hate “bitches”. They prefer to go to the club and “pop bottles” (that cost about $150) with their male friends, yet, refuse to buy a young lady a $10 drink. “I’m not paying for none of these hos” but you’re paying for your boys every weekend? Yeah…that’s real hetero of you.

This day and age, as women, where it’s so hard to earn respect from or fellow men, we don’t also need the burden of the same sex following their lead. It’s bad enough that we are viewed and treated as objects or even worse, underestimated and ridiculed career wise. It is not my duty or responsibility to change the minds of other people. But it is my duty to ignore them and continue striving to be myself. Which succumbs them to become this catty person and be ignorant instead of brushing their teeth or something. They know, in our presence, others have an opportunity to learn about us and perhaps grow to love us. And they can’t stand that. What can be done to end this cycle? Nothing. Not a damn thing. Which is why ignoring ignorance is the best answer. No matter what you do or say, they will always find something to say about you. They’re just that damn miserable.

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the ex.

What is it about that one particular “ex” that either makes your blood boil or your legs weak? They put us through so much shit, make us do things that compromise our self-worth and yet, we still run back to them. You bump into them at the mall and next thing you know, you’re exchanging numbers again. Come on over and watch a movie. Yes, I missed you. Yes, I missed us. Yeah, I have condoms. Yes, I still swallow. Want to know why? Because you’re lonely. Because we believe that they’re our “safety net”. Meaning, we don’t have to go through the “getting to know each other” process again. We’re under the impression that there’s some form of comfort there being that we’re already acquainted with each other. Mentally & sexually. We forget all of the bullshit they’ve put us through because we believe them when they say “I’ve changed“. Trust me, they didn’t change. The distance made you forget certain things. Like the way he put you down & told you you weren’t good enough for him. Or the way she used you for your money. Or the fact that he never introduced you to his parents. Or the way she always made excuses for her child’s father. They have recognized your vulnerability & took prey upon it. You need to remember why they are your ex in the first place before you even decide to take that path again. Most times, it happens right when you’ve broken it off with someone else. Instead of being alone, giving yourself time to heal & recuperate, you chose to run into the arms of someone who also hurt you before. Things are going to be good for the first few weeks, but ultimately, they are still no good for you. You can get good looks elsewhere. You can get good conversations elsewhere. You can get good dick/pussy elsewhere. Why only rely on that same person who has hurt you so much in the past? You think you can’t do better? You think there’s no one else out there that can treat you the way you deserve? It takes time. It takes reevaluating yourself. Give yourself time to think about what went wrong & the mistakes you’ve made. Once you realize that you can do better, you will. He or she will enter your life when you least expect it. You will be so relieved that you did not accept the 20% that you would have gotten, had you stayed with your ex. And that same “ex” will become the most unattractive person you know.

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baggage claim

Sometimes we make life very difficult for ourselves. We have a great ability to create our own stress. We may refuse to see the good in anything or anyone. We sometimes refuse to count our blessings and complain about lack thereof. What we don’t seem to realize is that when we complain about our struggle and strife, and don’t pay attention to what needs to be done, we draw more negativity into our experience. Which ultimately will drag us down. We create our own well-being according to the way we conduct our mind, mouth and matters. When we expect the best, we get it. When we speak about positivity, we see it. When we cleanse our hearts of fear, anger and strife, we place ourselves on a higher vibration. Everyone fails to see the good in anything because they’re too focused on the bad. If we choose to struggle with the issues of life, they will be very willing to fight us. Life doesn’t have to be a strain or struggle. Don’t believe the hype. It’s what you make it to be. Yes we go through our regular ups and downs but that is to make us stronger. Not to weaken our minds and change our daily routines. Pick your head up and just keep it moving.

“False friends are like a shadow, they’re with you while you’re in the sunshine, but leave you the minute you cross into the shade.”

On the flip side, you ever thought about your friends? Where are they when you’re going through rough times? We all seem to think we “need” them right? Give them many chances after they fuck you over and what happens…they disappoint you all over again. Fuck em. You don’t need people like that in your life. Because need represents lack. It says we are in some way deprived, unable to provide for yourself. And we don’t need people like you. In many cases, just one friend is good enough. What we need are clothing, food, shelter and things which has an abundance. Bottom line is, stress comes and goes & real friends last a lifetime. Real friends listen to you. Real friends respect your feelings. Real friends support your decisions & have your back when the going gets tough. You’re going to come across all types of people in your life. Some may be there for years to come, and others only for a minute. It’s up to you whether or not certain people deserve to be a part of you.

Choose wisely.

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peace of mind.

I’m starting to feel a lot better lately. The past couple of months I haven’t been on the positive side of the fence. Just had to get over a couple of bumps in the road that’s all. I was so worried about the negative events that occurred within the past few months, I pushed everything else in the back burner. Forgetting about all of the great positive things I’ve achieved along the way. I mean, why spend so much time dwelling on something you won’t ever be able to change? It’s out of our reach. That’s the thing about the past. It’s supposed to remain there. Untouched. Sometimes I have to fall back and really catch myself before I start to complain. When you complain, all you’re doing is not taken notice and being grateful for what we do have. We’re giving too much to dwell on what we lack. I believe once we appreciate the greatness we have, just by having life and being one of the people that He choose to wake up that morning, we will be granted more blessings. I have so much to be thankful for. I have my wonderful daughter, a home to come to that I can call mine, a great career, a nice car, good grades and I have good health.

Many people take life for granted. Some look at it as if it’s a gift and others look at it as “too much work” or turmoil. We kiss our teeth and roll our eyes over the thought of fighting for our happiness. But when something goes wrong in our life we tend to give up on it. Or even worse, holding someone else responsible when life doesn’t give us what we want. Moving day to day, with no plan, no goals and ultimately no rewards. Life is way too short to waste it on negativity. We only get one life so live it up the best way you can. You got people that haven’t done shit with their life but complain about it. Running around whining about how their life is the worse but do nothing to improve it. Laying around mumbling about frivolous shit like it’s the end of the world. They went unnoticed, haven’t done anything for themselves and probably just as, if not more, miserable and confused as you are. But the difference between you and them is that you’re making a change with your life. Here we are, not even old yet, and already giving up on the blueprint to our serenity.

Don’t be afraid to take a chance. Life is all about risks and learning from your experiences. If you’ve done things that didn’t work, do something else. Failed your classes when your major was Forensics Science?…chose a different major and try again. Got dumped by a girl for the 5th time?…find another one that’s better then the last. If you do absolutely nothing for yourself or for your life how do you expect to have a good one? The only way you’ll receive a reward for what you do is if you worked hard for it. A closed mouth don’t get fed. When you think negatively, you attract negativity. When you confront your life with negative thoughts, you’ll have experiences to confirm what you’re thinking. What you believe people and the world are doing to you is actually a reflection of what your thoughts are drawing to you. Positive thoughts, aspects and goals brings happiness throughout the darkness in your life. The better you are at nurturing, supporting and believing in yourself, the better life gets.

If you continue to keep purpose in your mind and have faith in happiness, you will find it. You know what makes you happy and will keep you there in the long run, so go for it. It’ll give you a peace of mind. So many people go through life believing they’re being cheated or the world owes them something. No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself because you choose & accepted what you receive. We create whatever we want in our lives. All you need is proper guidance and a perception to get there. You ever sit alone in your room and found yourself engulfed in your own thoughts, unplanned? I find myself doing that almost every night before going to bed. Some may call it “getting old” but I call it finding my true inner peace.

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get over it.

Karma’s a bitch, so why you keep fucking her?

People not being able to get over it: Why it seems as if the people that dislike you always find themselves most active in your life? They tell you (and others) all these things they don’t like about you, but still involve themselves in your surroundings. They observe how you carry yourself, who you hang out with, things you say and still complain about what you’re doing. Isn’t this like a form of stalking or an obsession? Then when you comment upon their actions, they have the nerve to tell you to “leave them alone”. Funny huh? I’m glad I became one of those people who sits around contentedly, ignoring how the people who dislike me behave. In any way possible they are crying for your attention. They want it. They need it. As much as they hate you, there’s something about you they yearn. If you dislike someone so much, then keep it moving. Why place yourself in their environment, just to complain about them more? I didn’t know an individual that’s not in your life can place so much affect into it. No matter how you look at it or try to downplay your actions, it’s still unhealthy. School, work, internet, church, club, bar…doesn’t matter. Unhealthy obsession. A healthy obsession would be focusing on solving a problem or focusing on something good. An unhealthy obsession is the constant focus of energy on something to the point that the obsession causes harmful consequences in your life (ie: emotions, negativity & etc.). They are both bad when they are to an extreme but to be persistent about something or someone that you don’t like is absurd. It’s a very annoying waste of time and if you don’t have control over yourself, to some degree, you will be ridiculed. Most of the time, obsessions come up when you’re trying to fill a sense of emptiness in your life. Thus the reason why when we disassociate ourselves from someone they tend to come around even more. I just don’t see the point in it all. If you’re not going to benefit from your actions why do it? If I hold no weight in your life, why concentrate so much in what I do? Why dislike me so much, yet, be so engulfed into what I am about? It makes no sense. Things I dislike the most I keep out of my sight and out of my mind. I don’t clutter my brain with extensive amounts of it.

If you spend more time figuring out your own life, instead of mine, you’ll be a much better person. Take the separation for what it is, and just step.

You can be jealous of someone for as long as you like. You can talk shit about them for as much as you like. You can try to break them down for as much as you like. At the end of the day, they will always have something that you don’t and they will continuing to strive to be better than you. So all of your weak attempts will go null and void, however, karma’s watching. Be careful of what you do to other people.

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The content of kisschanel.com, text and personal images, are ownership of Chanel Cheeks and copyrighted by me unless stated otherwise. No reproduction of any of the content shall be used without prior written consent. If you want to quote me or repost one of my blogs, please send an email requesting permission to do so first. The proper credit link must state the following: Originally written by Chanel @ kisschanel.com. Stealing blog posts is frowned upon and will result in people laughing at you for at least 5 years. This website is not recommended for inmates, ingrates or anyone professing an irrational fear of cats or for people over the age of 120. The content on this blog is the opinion of myself, not intended to “malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual,” especially those that are very bored with nothing else to do that will try to fight back anything that I have to say. My intention is to not injure others, just in case someone believes I made their genitals bleed by blogging about love & relationships. Full disclosure.

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