heart is filled with pastel colors and the delusional idea that everyone lives happily ever after. A girl can always dream. A woman makes her dreams come true.
Am I asking for too much when I say I want my future husband to be financially endowed enough to be able to take care of his household in case I was to have his child? I’m not going to remain working if I decide to have another child. Also, sometime in my life, I’d like to place 100% focus on my education. Of course, because of my current career, I’m unable to do so. It’s only getting about 35% of my attention. So, with that being said, I would also like for my future husband to allow me to be able to go to school full-time. If you ask some men this question, they will most likely tell you those are unrealistic expectations. Then what is realistic? You & I both working everyday until retirement? Even though I was raised to be independent, I was also reminded that men are the providers. How can you label yourself as “the man of the house” , if your woman is out there working 40 hours a week as well? How can you label yourself as “the man of the house”, if your woman is paying half of the bills? Are you also expecting her to do the laundry, clean, cook, and have sex with you every night with no problems? Ha!
I believe society are becoming so used to seeing strong woman in demanding careers to the point where they find the thought of taking care of that same woman as blasphemy. I really doubt a man was raised on the premise that once he find the love of his life, his job is to make sure she wakes up on time to report to work. Men were raised to provide and protect their family. Does anyone still believe in the traditional family values where the man provides and the woman take care of the home? I understand if you both have not met your goals as yet and have decided to start a family together, however, the money is not looking right. Completely understandable. I understand if the woman does not want to stop working because her career is her passion. Completely understandable. What I don’t understand is the peace of mind a man can have with watching his wife bust her ass every morning at 5am getting the baby ready for daycare, because she has to be at work by 7am, yet, you’re not making any effort to make your current situation better. That’s bull. Weren’t you raised better than that?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for the career woman to also help provide for the home and etc. I’m only speaking in reference to once a new child is involved and/or educational goals are presented. To be honest with you, if my husband took part in supporting me throughout the years of pursuing my degree in Counseling Psychology, I would not mind supporting him once I receive my accolades. That’s what marriage is about. You give to one another. My thoughts and theories just further heighten my concerns about marriage and why people end up divorcing a year later. This is why I am so picky with whom I choose to commit to and build a new future with. A simple discussion like this, can change so much in a relationship and the outcome of it.
We, as women, have been lowering our standards far too long. Afraid of being “dumped” due to speaking our minds. Afraid of projecting what we want from our men. Afraid of telling that man, what we expect from him in the future. Afraid to simply say “Yes, I would love to be married someday.” because he’s afraid of commitments. I am not afraid to say that I have traditional expectations from my husband. What’s the point of spending the rest of your life with someone if they don’t meet your personal likings? When you speak on it, and they do not agree, then you have a lot of delegating to do in reference to you and your future with that man.
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Dude. It must be Spring.
My post was somewhat along these lines from Friday.
Wow.
No darling, you are not asking too much.
We always think the same. Always always always. :love:
You’re fine, just as long as he knows the score…
You can’t, you know, tell him you don’t care about money, don’t care if you have to work, think it’s great he wants to be a professor or writer (gee, who am I talking about) then wake up some morning and decide he’s got to change….
I don’t think you’re asking for too much. It’s good to know what you want, and to state those things beforehand. Some men just can’t handle a strong, goal-orientated woman. I feel as though a couple (married or not) should be able to communicate with one another about what they want and they should be willing to give, especially when it comes to education or children.
Wow!
It must be something going around all over the country right now with men that all of us women are just straight up tired with how men are acting. I was thinking about this a couple days ago and I came to the realization that if a guy thinks what I’m asking is too much then he needs to leave me alone.
A guy that God has created for you is never going to think that anything you ask for is far too much for him to do or maintain. And if he isn’t “that guy” and you think well I’ll just look over that and deal with it because he’ll change in the future WRONG. I’m a living testiment that no man will EVER change for the women he’s with.
So yeah you’re not asking for too much. You’re just like me and many other women that are just asking the man to be everything you are just with “extras” :blogyyy:
There is something going on. And I don’t blame it on the recession because it started way before that.
I like this topic and I don’t think you are asking too much at all. I think it’s in our nature as women to want to have a provider and protector in our life. I also think it’s in man’s nature to want to provide for their family. Unfortunately, in today’s day and age, guys have no balls… but I’m sure there’s still some *real* men out there… I also have nothing against career women, in fact I admire them. It’s hard to handle job, kids, the house, and your husband so I think they are amazing. I totally believe in the traditional way. My husband is actually the provider and I take care of the house and kids, although sometimes when he wants to be nice he volunteers to do some household chores… but that rarely happens, but I”m okay with that..
You are definitely a role model for many married couple with children out there. From following your blogs, you seem to always have a good head on your shoulders and is happy. Not many can say that about their relationship/marriage.
I love the way your mind works… my sister and I were just talking about this same topic a few days ago.
I definitely don’t think you’re asking for too much. I’m very much a feminist but I believe I’m a more non-traditional feminist in the sense that I don’t necessarily want to turn over the status quo. I just want people to realize that women should be allowed to do whatever they want — whether they’re jobs that fit the traditional gender roles or not. My mom was a feminist as well but she was a stay at home mom until I was 12. It worked out fine because she liked to take care of the family and my Dad liked playing his role of being the provider.
I also agree that this whole let’s-pretend-we-don’t-want-commitment-in-the-future thing is just annoying. I would love to get married and I would love to have kids in the future. It’s not like I’ll try to trap anyone to help me make that happen but I know that that’s what I want. Does that make me a creep? Okay, whatever. I’m not going to pretend like I don’t want anything stable in the future because I know I do.
Exactly! It’s like “taboo” all of a sudden to want to be married and have a future with someone. Sheesh.
Only we as individuals can determine whether what we want is “asking for too much”. I actually think it’s a non-question. We as women have to make choices based on what our personal beliefs are.
Good entry, I feel the same way. When it comes to Marriage I have always been called a bit old fashioned. But wanting to build a career and have a stable family can be trying. I love working, but hell it’s hard when you work 40 hours a week, have an online course, 3 kids, their homework, cleaning, cooking, washing, hanging with my girls here and there, going out with my man, keeping myself up (you know I have to look good) and then raising my ass up so he can hit it from the back. Shoot…it’s just not enough days in the week LOL
Girl fuck know you ain’t asking for too much, and you know what I am one of those females that always speak my mind, regardless of how much it gets me in trouble
hard to find a man to deal with it lol.
Well, i dont think it should be 50-50 i think it should be 100-100!!! What if he cleans his own clothes? what if “the husband” wakes up @ 5am with you and assist you with those duties of gettin the child ready? BUT I DO AGREE THE MAN SHOULD BE THE BREAD WINNER!!!! and as far as you getting your education as a full time student he should want that & assist with that..thats only gonna better you in put you in a situation to make bigger money!!!
hope that helped?!
I don’t think that is asking for too much. I have always felt like the man should be the provider and breadwinner of the household. That’s how I was raised and that’s how it has been in my family. Don’t get me wrong, women do need to be independent and able to do for themselves but if a man loves a women he should be able to provide for her when she wants to achieve a goal such as finishing her education or becoming a mother. But all too often I am seeing that women have been expecting less and less from men. This is becoming an alarming trend.
I completely understand where you’re coming from. Some people just don’t see past it and like to think the idea of the man being the main/sole provider is against all feminism fought for, blah blah blah.
Personally, I would love to be the stock standard housewife, take care of the house during the day, organise meals to be on the table when he comes home, and just be organised in the house. My fiance doesn’t mind this idea, and he wants to earn enough so that it can one day be a reality, but it’s interesting how many of my friends are shocked by this, a lot of them uttering ‘Oh but you’re so independent, how could you stand that?’, how does it make me any less independent to choose to be taken care of financially in order to take care of him in another manner?
People are strange.
Isn’t it a natural thing to ask for these things? Don’t people in other countries ask for a good hunter in a man, in order for him to marry the girl (etc)?
What about the other way around? I hear grown men who want a wife who can “cook and clean” as if he couldn’t do it for himself. But like I said before, isn’t it a natural thing to look for a certain partner that fit the aspects you are looking for?
People make me crazy. :ughhh:
I really don’t think you’re asking too much, it all seems reasonable to me. Ultimately though, only you can really say whether or not you think you are.
As for me I’m quite content staying at home working freelance, while my hubby goes to work. Of course, I’d be willing to work outside the home if I had to. Can’t say what will happen when we add children to the equation though.
You’re a beast! They can’t handle you Cha Cha! lmaooooooo
HELLO BROOKLYN!!!