When you enter a relationship, you don’t often think or see beyond the physical being. We’re attracted to the body, face or personality. We probably like what the person do, say, handle or feel about a situation. In most shallow moments, some may be attracted to their lifestyle, popularity, material things and/or income. We enjoy their conversation, we’re engulfed by their kiss and we’re even amused by their humor. We may even experience a pull from within that we can’t actually explain so we find ourselves sharing our bodies with them as if “the time was right“. You’re supposed to protect, nurture & handle your person with care. You can’t treat sex as if it’s a casual thing to do with someone that you want to build with. I’m sickened with the fact that sex is taken so lightly now. With STDs/HIV growing, people dying, unwanted pregnancies and all of these life threatening diseases caused by sexual intercourse going around, one should think twice before they hand over their body to someone due to lack of sexual control. Ever thought about wanting more for yourself other than 15 minutes of casual dick rammed up your ass? Demand more self-respect and you will get it in return. I’m sure with the way you present yourself, men should not believe that you are to be used for sex or anything sexually related. So why is it that most of the men we encounter is trying to have sex before anything else? Then they have this fucked up perception that if they spend a certain amount of money, sex should be granted to them. I will never know the answer to that other than maybe it’s a part of being immature. The attitude does not change by race, age nor lifestyle either. Older men are just as starved out for sex as younger men. The difference is, older men use that tired ass “We’re both grown” excuse. Please. People claim it’s harder (no pun intended) for men to restrain from trying to have sex with a beautiful woman laying next to them. Whatever @ that stereotype. Pure bullshit. We need to stop making excuses for men who lack respect for women. If a man tells me he doesn’t want me to put my finger in his ass until we’re in a commitment, I’m not gonna try to sneak my finger in between his ass crack every damn time we’re together. So if I say I am not ready to have sex with you, then build a bridge and get over it. Patience is virtue. If you’re unable to respect that, then I don’t need you in my life anyway. It’s as simple as that.
How often do we stop to consider the true depth of the person we’re attracted to? Plenty of men have been attracted to me in these ways and even considered starting a commitment with me but they never gotten the chance to learn & embrace the real me. They were just going by my blueprint. Not taking enough time to figure me out and dissect the path on how I got where I am today. We all have a past, present & future and not enough people show interest in that. Which is why so many of us are “stuck” in these empty relationships. Or possibly because they’re so desperate in finding love that they will accept whatever comes their way. You can stop looking, forcing and trying to make it happen. Especially in the wrong person. Love is not a struggle. It happens naturally. When you look in their eyes, you will know that they are the one. Even before the “love” presents itself. You make sacrifices, you compromise & you place yourself at levels that you couldn’t imagine doing with anyone else. A lot of people don’t value these things anymore. They see it as a “hassle” and actually frown upon settling down, growing a relationship and actually just being exclusive to one person. I refuse to give someone all of my time if I am not getting the same in return. You know what I say to men who believe that they can have sex after the first date? I say “Sure thing, but take me shopping first.” Because we all know men have the same hang ups about spending money on a woman, as we do about giving it up that easily. We like to wait to see if that man is worth giving our bodies to, just like he wants to wait to see if she’s worth him taking her shopping and etc.
I can’t only blame the men now. Because how are they getting away with these acts? Women are allowing them to. These women are trying to state what their standards are and when the man tells them they are only interested in one thing, they accept that. Or even worse, there are women out there who would broadcast that all they want is sex, and it doesn’t if the man is married/committed. It’s just a bad cycle revolving in more ways than one, which will be very hard to stop because it’s becoming more acceptable in today’s society. Insecurity and low self-esteem, of course, is to blame as well. I’m also not knocking people who have decided to maintain a sexual relationship with someone. Sometimes you are able to mutually agree that this is all you want, with no strings attached. It’s just so disheartening though that the older we get, more and more people are seeking that more than an actual monogamy.
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Okay First Off, This will be my first time commenting a blog even though i come to read your blogs every day and check for new updates.I just never had the guts to reply . I don’t know.. But, your blogs help me in a lot of ways. I am only in High school but i feel like i can reply and must agree to this. My friend did some things with a boy and it got over the school(you know high school)so now a lot of boys try to get with her. and at first i was kinda blind about it. but, then i figured it could be true they just want sex. And i finally know it is sex when at least 3 boys have told her so far they want to have sex with her. If you don’t respect your self or body any boy would think he has a chance(especially in high school) me, i`m saving my self till i am older and stable and know i`m sharing something special with a person who deserves it. that is all.thanks. So, People should be cautious and know treat sex as its a small thing. cause it’s really big and serious!!
Exactly. I love this post because soo many people are changing the whole concept of sex. its like everyone is going around having sex just to have it, to be liked, or because everyone else is doing it. Im in high school and there’s some girls at my school who go around hunching [thats mii not sooo explicit term] everybody and swear it’s cute. it’s not classy whatsoever. that’s why i dont allow them to hang around me. guys are always trying to make me have sex with them and one of them even said that i look like i’ve had sex more than 15 times! I was shocked and I asked if that was normal for a girl to have had sex that many times and he said yea!! I mean to me 5 times is WAAAAY too much. People think that sex is EVERYTHING in a relationship. It gets to the point that if u ask me I stop talking to you.
things have definitely changed in society. i agree, men are not the only ones to blame since women are allowing them to get away with things. relationships are so much more than just the sexual aspect of it and i don’t think some people realize that.
LMFAO @ “If a man tells me he doesn’t want me to put my finger in his ass until we’re in a commitment, I’m not gonna try to sneak my finger in between his ass crack every damn time we’re together” And I really laughed. Out loud.
Not enough people show interest in our past…boy you hit the nail right on the head! You do not love me if you can’t appreciate the person I was, am, and am becoming.
I completely agree, Sex doesn’t mean anything to alot of people nowadays anc its sad but its the truth and reality. Sex is so much more than a “quick fuck” and its more than just having morals its for safety. Like you said all the STDs and AIDS spreading quickly throughout the community it doesn’t pay to be “sexually liberated”
I guess you weren’t lying when you said your blog is “verbally infectious.” I keep trying to keep myself away from it because we’ve already gotten into a few altercations over comments, but once the embarrassment and frustration of that wears off, I remember why I do keep coming back in the first place. I have so much respect for you, Chanel, and besides that, I love to have an argument with such intelligent, strong minded individuals as yourself, even though you ain’t really having it. Anyway, I totally agree with this post, and it just reaffirms how fortunate I am to be in the relationship I have now. Thanks for reminding me. Keep it up, girl. And I LMAO at the video at the end. That boy can dance his ass off! Cheers.
It was just a misunderstanding & difference in outlook Asia. Your feedback is always welcome here. You write some good blogs too. Thanks for the respect! :blogiii:
wow, this blog had a lot of meaning, and it completely makes so much sense to me. i hope i remember to keep visiting here and read more of them
i like the video too!
Most people will never realize or care about the meaning of sex. I don’t judge people and what they do sexually or what they do with their bodies. However, it seems that people have sex for all of the wrong reasons, at least they seem wrong to me. There is nothing wrong with someone enjoying sex, but if they are being very irresponsible about it, they shouldn’t be having sex at all. I hope that most women can open their eyes before opening their legs sometimes.
Since the topic is “sex”, I remember telling myself that I would wait until marriage to have sex… however, that is just really unrealistic of me. I know what you mean about how your partner should get to know the real you. I wish I had done that, but hey, we can’t change the past right… it’s one of those things that I had to learn the hard way. I think most of us really just lack self-control… at least, I know I do… lol Anyhoo, I enjoyed this entry and I agree with you… just thought I’d write what came to my mind when reading this.
And btw, that video is kinda funny. lol
Nothing wrong with a simply physical relationship if that’s all you truly want (which isn’t the case with most women).
As a person seeking more than a fleshy sex toy, I’ve learned that sex can and should wait a long time. I’ve had at least 3 guys feed me the “I’d still respect/want a relationship if we had sex right now”, and then tell me I “passed” because I spent the night in my own bed.
People are just… full of it. Better to keep your body and reputation safe, than have a few hours of intimacy.